ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Back in the days I was younger, I always tell my friends that I am gonna marry someone whose rich and old so when he dies, I am gonna inherit his money. My friends do agrees with me. We tell this to each other when we feel exhausted by studying or to life, as a whole. This is purely a joke or just to ligthen up our feelings and I can't imagine it might really happen to me.

I am a teenager. My tita and tito is residing abroad. Tito was a US Navy but now a retiree. They have a huge age gap because my Tito is already old when he met Tita. They were engaged to marry, but not because of love.

Tita, a Filipino citizen back then was arranged to get married to Tito, which is a US citizen, in order for Tita to become a US Citizen as well. They were so called "pen pals". It is undeniable that this is an instant way to become a citizen in US. Tito have arranged papers like K1 visa or like a fiance visa in order to get my tita from the Philippines to US.

Fortunately, Tita and Tito end up together and in love.

One day, I woke up hearing my mom talking to tita on facebook video call about a rich old guy which is my tito's colleague. This rich old guy is also a US Navy but now a retiree. This rich old guy wants to marry a relative of tita.

I don't know that guy's intention but it feels like they are arranging me to get married to that guy so I will end up being a US citizen as well. Tita also added that this old guy is really rich that his house has security personnels.

I woke up because of their loud conversation and because the door from my room is open. When I finally leave my room, my mom excitingly talk about it to me and if I am okay with it. Eventhough I am still in shock, I feel like my mom thinks it is a good idea so I unhesitantly said, "Oo, okay lang."

She complemented me and told tita which is her older sister, "Oh diba mabait yang anak ko na yan. Alam nya kasi yung hirap ng buhay".

At first it is really okay to me. Its not bothering me at all. It just feels too good to be true. Later that day, tita gave me the email of the old guy and introduce myself to him. She told me that she already told the old guy my name but it'll be better if I'll introduce myself to him.

So then, I did it. I emailed him. He replied at night maybe because of time difference since he's from abroad. He seems really nice. He told me that eventhough I am only a teen, my soul speaks like a mature woman. He sent me his current pictures as well as his family pictures. He told me has 2 sons but lives far away from him so he basically lives alone.

He told me about the K1 visa or a fiance visa which my tita and tito also did back then. He also told me that we have to email each other from time to time because this will be the evidence of our relationship to be presented in the embassy when we'll file a marriage I think.

My mother agrees to this because the old guy assures us that he'll let me graduate first from college since I am already halfway there.

We exchanged messages in emails for 4 longgg days now and it bothers me big time. He is really kind, don't get me wrong, but I am not feeling good about this. I don't know if I'll continue emailing him or tell my mom that I want to refuse to this arrangement. I reply when he message me but this is just out of respect. My mom seems so fine about this. She seems happy that when she talks about this guy, he calls him as my "fiance". My mom always says that the decision is on me, but her actions are implicitly telling me to do this.

What would I do? I am scared to the fact that I am marrying a stranger old man after I graduate which will be in 2 years. I have hundreds of thoughts. Half of me says it will be okay, since my future will be secured because opportunities will be waving at me abroad and I'll have a rich husband which I am just dreaming back then.

My mom would be happy about this. But half of me wants to refuse. Would I be happy? I am indecisive. Honestly, I am in the course program that I don't really like. I failed to fight for my dream course because I need to be practical, because my mom says I should be practical.

I let this happen because it's only for 4 years. I told myself that I will only suffer for 4 years in the course I am not interested in, and it will be okay. But this marriage arrangement seems very serious now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I am not interested to. But, I don't want to dissapoint my mom.

It may be a bit unreasonable and cliche but I think it is every girl's dream to meet and end up with someone they are really in love with. You want to be with someone you are really into. I haven't experienced dating yet. I am NBSB. I also wants to feel kilig, date nights, first times, and butterflies in the stomach with the guy I have crush on or I like.

It would be a comfort to me reading your comments and advices.

I already told my bestfriend about this and hoping she will not asked nor confirm if it is really me who confessed here. I would be embarassed. My thoughts just have really gone wild, and I don't want to bother her saying the same things and reasons all over again and end up not decided at all.

Y

2nd year

Unknown

YOU ARE MY BIGGEST MISTAKE

We met in congressional meet. We both athlete. Dancer ka at taekwondo player naman ako. Magkaiba tayo ng school na nire-represent.

So eto na nga, we became friends hanggang sa naging mag on na tayo. Umabot tayo ng isang taon, sa lahat ng dance practice mo andun ako nakasuporta, taga punas ng pawis mo, taga bili ng ice tubig at pagkain. I am your number one fan love.

Pareho na tayo on training nun kaso napapabayaan ko yung training ko sa taekwondo kasi I want to support you. Gusto ko maramdaman mong andito lang ako sa lahat ng laban mo. Dumating ang araw ng laban ng sayaw nyo, that was exactly our second anniversary. Gabi ang laban nyo pinuntahan kita at may dala pa ako nun na banner para makita mo effort ko. Inabutan ako ng hating gabi kaka cheer sayo. Kahit alam kong bukas ako naman lalaban sa laro.

My team and coach are expecting na makakagold medalist ulit ako. But I failed. Alam mo yung masakit dun? Yung araw ng laban ko dun ka wala. I need your support too. Pero sabi mo pagod ka . So inintindi ko.

Lumipas ang mga araw nagiging malamig kana sakin. Wala akong makitang rason para itrato moko ng ganyan. I gave everything to you. Ginawa ko lahat, I mean ginawa ko yung best ko to hold this relationship.

One day, I caught you cheating on me. May babae ka. Humingi ka ng sorry at pinatawad kita. Babae lang yun, hindi ko hahayaan na sya lang makakasira ilang taon nating pinagsamahan.

Pero sa kabila nun nagloko ka pa ulit. Some of your friends tell me na may nangyare sa inyo nung babae. At may isang babae rin ang lumapit sa akin para sabihin na nilalandi mo sya. Niyaya mo sa kama. Nakakagagö lang.

Binigay ko lahat kahit hindi ko na kaya. Pinatawad kita ng paulit ulit kahit paubos na ako. Kulang pa ba?

Halos talikuran ko mga magulang ko masunod ka lang mahal. Tumatakas ako sa bahay mapuntahan ka lang. Pero at the end of the day kulang pa rin mga ginagawa ko to make you stay . Paulit ulit mo akong niloko. Emotionally and physically.

Isang taon na ang nakalipas simula nung iniwan mo ako pero yung trauma andito pa rin. Siguro kung hindi ako traumatized by the idea of cheating, hindi siguro ako takot magtiwala ulit. Hindi siguro ako paranoid and insecure.

Sometimes I think I'm healed. But really, I'm just numb.

Trx

2021

SeniorHigh

Unknown

Begin Again

Way back 2013, nung nakilala ko si Anton. I am a First Year college student. He was invited by my cousin as "Ninong" to her daughter's christening.

We had a long conversation that night and I know I'm a little drunk. He got my cellphone number and I gave it to him. Months passed, I didnt get any calls nor text messages from him and I dont know why but I ignore it since we’re not really close to do that.

Morning on December of 2013 I saw him in our street, nagwawalis sa isang tapat ng bahay then dun ko lang nalaman na we're neighboors pala. Sa isip isip ko, how come na di ko siya nakikita eh we're on the same street lang naman. Pag papasok ako sa school every morning never ko siya nakita nagwalis don, this is the first time.

Since he was my cousin's kumpare, one time nagkaroon ng inuman sa pinsan ko and andun din siya. That is the second time we had our conversation, deep conversation. Family, work, life and all.

He told me na that he works overseas as an Air Conditioned Installer. (Correct me if Im wrong basta yung taga install ng aircon sa mga company ganon hahaha.) Kaya pala bigla siya nawala non, nasa abroad pala.

April of 2014 I received a call from him, he's inviting me to a dinner and I said yes naman. Why not di ba? Lalo na kung libre hehe. Ang smooth lang ng mga next happenings. Kwentuhan, tawanan, life lessons etc. So as a student dami ko natutunan sa kanya, lalo na in making decisions. Im a type of person kasi na very impulsive lalo na pag pinangungunahan ako ng emosyon ko.

Fast forward to 2015, nag-stop ako sa pag aaral. Yung part time job ko noon naging full time na. I decided to work since ang gastos ng course ko and ang mahal ng tuition. I'm not a scholar too kaya hindi na talaga namin afford ng family ko ang gastusin.

Masaya naman ako sa work ko kahit na nakakapagod sobra atleast kumikita na ko and kaya ko nang mag provide ng mga needs sa bahay especially electric and water bill. Nabibigyan ko na rin kahit papano yung bunso namin ng allowance niya sa school. Ang nasa isip ko lang kasi noon eh as long as may pera, may kinikita okay na 'ko dun.

I was so curious about Anton then, that's why I asked my cousin about him. Yes, I did a background check. And dun ko nalaman na he has a family with three kids and her wife is an overseas worker too but in a hospital.

Sobra kong na-shock. He looks very young that I didn’t noticed na he has kids na pala. Nagtuloy tuloy pa rin yung mga calls namin ni Anton, hanggang sa di ko na namamalayan nagugustuhan ko na siya.

Yung tipong gusto ko siya kasi kapag may problema ako sa bahay siya lang yung matino kong nakakausap. Nagbibigay ng advice and nakakapag pakalma sakin. Ang light lang sa feelings kapag kasama ko siya, nakakapag-rant ako, naiiyak ko lahat.

Nakikinig lang siya sakin, hindi niya ko kokontrahin hanggat hindi ako natatapos magkwento. Tsaka lang siya magbibigay ng opinyon niya after ko, and yun yung isa sa mga qualities na nagustuhan ko sakanya.

Nakipagrelasyon ako kay Anton kahit alam kong may pamilya na siya. Yes, I've been his mistress for almost 6 years. You can call me "KABÈT" "MISTRÊSS" "MAKATI" "HALIPARÖT" or whatsoever but let me finish first.

Okay, so 6 years. This is kinda fresh for me. I decided to part ways with him last March since pabalik na din siya from abroad for work. And makakasama na ulit niya wife niya.

Every year naman umaalis siya because of his 7 months contract. Nasanay na 'ko dun, magugulat na lang ako may tatawag sakin mag-aaya kumain sa labas, yun pala nakauwi na ng Pinas.

I remember back then, nung nalaman niya nagstop ako mag-aral sinabi niya sakin na bakit daw hindi ako lumapit sakanya? Pwede naman daw niya ko bigyan pang tuition. So sa isip ko, ano siya sugar daddy?

Since nung naging magkarelasyon kami never akong nanghingi sakanya, especially money. A big NO, never. Hindi ko ginusto ang pera niya. Hindi ako nagpabili ng mga kung ano-ano. Cellphone, luho pang salon etc.

Siya mismo kasi yung ginusto ko. Yung pagiging understanding, kalmado, open-minded and of course maturity. Yun ang mga qualities na minahal ko sa kanya.

We talked over a bottle of beer, tinanong ko siya kung bakit niya ko nagustuhan? At bakit siya nagpakita ng motibo na in the first place alam niya naman sa sarili niya na may asawa't anak na siya.

Hindi siya kumibo and dun na 'ko nag-start umiyak. Naisip ko, siguro nga pampalipas oras lang ako.

Kinabukasan maaga siyang tumawag sakin,

"Hindi ako nakikipag usap sa taong lasing o nakainom. Antayin mo ko makabalik sa November, aayusin ko 'to lahat." dire-diretsong sabi niya.

Pinutol ko yung sinabi niya and I said,

"NO, WAG KA NANG BUMALIK SA AKIN, PLEASE LANG. STOP."

I ended the call.

I claim it to myself na we're over. Nasa abroad na siya ngayon and wala na kaming communication.

We've been in a relationship for so long but now I realized and asked myself,

"Why?"

"Hanggang dito na lang ba ako?"

"Pagiging kabēt na lang ba role ko sa buhay?"

"Third Party?"

"Home Wrecker?"

That's why I decided to stop. Hindi ko na kaya, pagod na 'ko. We cant go out publicly, ni hindi ko masabi sa mga friends ko na may boyfriend ako.

SO YES, CHEATING IS A CHOICE.

Ang pagchi-cheat hindi lang kasalanan ng isang tao, dalawa kayong pumasok sa isang maling relasyon kaya parehas kayong may kasalanan. I felt guilty and sorry towards his family.

Hindi na kaya ng konsensya ko na gabi-gabi may nasasaktan na kapwa ko babae dahil lang sa nagmahal ako. Hindi ko na kaya na until now, iniisip pa rin ng wife niya na faithful and loyal si Anton sa kanya. Hindi ko na kaya na baka may doubt na siya sa sarili niya. Hindi ko na kayang panindigan yung maling disisyon na ginawa ko.

Im 26 and I wish I could turn back time when there is no Anton in my life. I want to restart and move on.

~~~

For the girls out there, eto lang masasabi ko sainyo PLEASE DON'T BE LIKE ME.

Wag niyo na dagdagan yung mga taong tulad ko. Nagkamali na Ako sa buhay, hayaan niyong ako na lang. Huwag niyong hayaan na gawin kayong sidechick/kabet ng taong mahal niyo.

Hindi siya masaya, promise. I learned my lesson, now I want to focus on myself and on my new career. I know my worth now. I hope you also learned from my story.

Joy

201*

Unknown

Unknown

NAPUNAN

Hi I'm Iyah, 23 years old. Nagtatatrabaho sa Valenzuela as Cashier.

May boyfriend ako for almost six years. Smooth yung naging relationship namin sa umpisa (lahat naman sa umpisa lang) tapos noong nakaabot kami ng 2 years, naumpisahan niya akong sampalin.

Noon hindi pa sadya kasi nag-sorry naman siya kaagad. Kaso hindi ko inaakala na mauulit at mauulit pala. Tapos dumating pa sa point na kinaladkad niya ako, sobrang hiya ko noon dahil ang daming tao. Pero mahal ko kaya nag-stay pa rin ako.

Ayos siya maging boyfriend kapag masaya kami. Pero kapag nag-away na, nakakatakot na. Last February, nag-away kami, simpleng dahilan ng pag-aaway at parehas kaming gutom at pagod sa trabaho. Pero umabot sa sakitan talaga yung away namin.

Dun na naman niya ko nasimulang saktan. Katulad ng sipain, hampasin, ipagtabuyan at itulak. Tapos everytime na magkasama kami, hindi niya ko binibigyan ng pansin. Hindi na siya interesado makinig sakin. Hinahanap ko yung lambing niya, yung pagsuyo niya kapag nag-aaway kami, kaso wala.

Yung dating pagpapakumbaba, yung atensiyon, yung saya kapag andiyan na ako, yung paparamdam na special ako (dahil ngayon parang ordinary nalang ako), yung effort na mapapasaya ako, lahat yan nawala na sakanya.

Tapos may kaibigan ako sa work ko, matagal ko na rin siya nakakasama mula noong nag-umpisa ako sa trabaho ko. Noong una wala lang siya sakin. Pero ngayon nararamdaman ko na siya. Yung pag-alaga niya mas nararamdaman ko, concern siya sakin. Handa siyang makinig sa lahat ng istorya ko, nageeffort siya mapasaya lang ako.

Natatakot akong mahulog nalang bigla yung loob ko sa kanya dahil lang napunan niya yung wala nung isa. Pilit kong itinatanggi na gusto ko siya pero yung puso ko nagpapatunay ng nararamdaman ko. Sobrang saya ko kapag kasama ko siya. Yung walang kami pero parehas kaming masaya.

Nakakalimutan ko ang pinaggagawa sakin ng boyfriend ko kapag nandyan siya. Ang sama ko sa part na yun, pero kasi yung hindi niya pinaparamdam sakin, naramdaman ko na sa iba. Nakakatakot.

Kahit kailan hindi ako naghanap ng wala sa boyfriend ko, pero narealize ko lahat mula noong nasaktan niya ako ng ganun kalala physically.

Totoo pala ano? Mapapatawad natin sila dahil mahal natin. Pero bawat pagpapatawad natin sa pagkakamali nila unti-onting nababawasan yung pagmamahal natin.

Sa tuwing nakikita ko yung bf ko, nakokonsensya ako. Gusto ko na pigilan yung nararamdaman ko sa kaibigan ko, kaso hindi ko alam kung paano. Iniwasan ko pero ang hirap iwasan ng tao, lalo na kung katrabaho mo at ito na yung nagpapasaya sayo. Baka may ma-advice pa kayo dyan. Thankyou po.

Kaya sa mga lalaki dyan, please lang wag niyong babalewalain yung mga girlfriend niyo. Kahit sa simpleng kwento niya makinig kayo, simpleng lambing ibigay niyo, simpleng sorry bigkasin nyo.

Dahil once na may magpasaya ng iba dyan, talo kayo.

Iyah

2021

Unknown

Unknown

Basic (Medyo SPG)

So nabasa ko yung story ni Mae, tawang tawa ako kase may pagkakapareho kami.

So ayun na nga strict din yung parents ko. Bawal nga ako mag boyfriend eh. Tutol talaga sila sa boyfriend ko nun. Mag-aral raw muna, eh matigas ulo ko kaya nag boyfriend pa rin.

May boyfriend ako moreno, matangkad, talented at ang gwapo. First boyfriend ko siya.

Tuwing Thursday ng gabi dun natutulog yung boyfriend ko sa bahay namin. At yung papa ko walang kamalay malay. Kase meron akong sariling kwarto at kami lang dalawa ni papa sa bahay kase wala si mama nagtatrabaho sa ibang lugar.

Mga 6pm palang or kahit anong oras basta dilim na uutay na pumunta sa bahay yung boyfriend ko. Kase wala kami ng ganong oras. Nasa lola ko kami or basta tambay kung saan ni papa. Dahil may susi siya sa bahat basta nalang siya papasok. At ang taguan niya ay yung ilalim ng kama ko.

Two years na ganon yung set up namin. Nagtataka nako kase yung papa ko wala talaga kaalam alam.

Siguro hindi lang talaga kami maingay HAHAHA!

So ayun nag break din kami.

Tapos after 6 months nag request tulog daw uli sya dito sa bahay. Edi ako namang marupok sige game, mahal ko pa eh.

Edi ayun na nga dating gawi. Kaso kinabukasan nun wala trabaho si papa edi aligaga kami kinabukasan kase hindi namin alam kung pano siya makakauwi.

Tawang tawa ako kase ihing ihi na siya kaya ang ginawa ko kumuha ako ng bottled water tas sabi ko dun sya umihi haha.

BALE DUN TALAGA LAGI SYA UMIIHI KAPAG ANDITO SIYA DATI.

Nag-antay kami ng tyempo para makalabas siya sa bahay namin ng buhay.

Tapos sakto nag-CR si papa edi dahan dahan siyang lumabas sa kwarto. Kaso hindi pa pala natatapos ang problema namin kase yung aso ko nasa labas pala.

Eh hindi siya kilala nun kase nga break na kami nung nagpunta siya. Galit na galit pa naman sa lalaki yun.

Dahil takot nga ako tumahol yung aso at mabuking kami, tinakluban ko yung mata ng aso ko at yun ang smooth ng pagkakaalis ng ex ko. Pero kabado talaga ako nun hahhaha.

Ngayon wala na ako balita sa kanya pero mahal ko padin si gagõ.

Rei

2021

Unknown

Unknown