Back in the days I was younger, I always tell my friends that I am gonna marry someone whose rich and old so when he dies, I am gonna inherit his money. My friends do agrees with me. We tell this to each other when we feel exhausted by studying or to life, as a whole. This is purely a joke or just to ligthen up our feelings and I can't imagine it might really happen to me.
I am a teenager. My tita and tito is residing abroad. Tito was a US Navy but now a retiree. They have a huge age gap because my Tito is already old when he met Tita. They were engaged to marry, but not because of love.
Tita, a Filipino citizen back then was arranged to get married to Tito, which is a US citizen, in order for Tita to become a US Citizen as well. They were so called "pen pals". It is undeniable that this is an instant way to become a citizen in US. Tito have arranged papers like K1 visa or like a fiance visa in order to get my tita from the Philippines to US.
Fortunately, Tita and Tito end up together and in love.
One day, I woke up hearing my mom talking to tita on facebook video call about a rich old guy which is my tito's colleague. This rich old guy is also a US Navy but now a retiree. This rich old guy wants to marry a relative of tita.
I don't know that guy's intention but it feels like they are arranging me to get married to that guy so I will end up being a US citizen as well. Tita also added that this old guy is really rich that his house has security personnels.
I woke up because of their loud conversation and because the door from my room is open. When I finally leave my room, my mom excitingly talk about it to me and if I am okay with it. Eventhough I am still in shock, I feel like my mom thinks it is a good idea so I unhesitantly said, "Oo, okay lang."
She complemented me and told tita which is her older sister, "Oh diba mabait yang anak ko na yan. Alam nya kasi yung hirap ng buhay".
At first it is really okay to me. Its not bothering me at all. It just feels too good to be true. Later that day, tita gave me the email of the old guy and introduce myself to him. She told me that she already told the old guy my name but it'll be better if I'll introduce myself to him.
So then, I did it. I emailed him. He replied at night maybe because of time difference since he's from abroad. He seems really nice. He told me that eventhough I am only a teen, my soul speaks like a mature woman. He sent me his current pictures as well as his family pictures. He told me has 2 sons but lives far away from him so he basically lives alone.
He told me about the K1 visa or a fiance visa which my tita and tito also did back then. He also told me that we have to email each other from time to time because this will be the evidence of our relationship to be presented in the embassy when we'll file a marriage I think.
My mother agrees to this because the old guy assures us that he'll let me graduate first from college since I am already halfway there.
We exchanged messages in emails for 4 longgg days now and it bothers me big time. He is really kind, don't get me wrong, but I am not feeling good about this. I don't know if I'll continue emailing him or tell my mom that I want to refuse to this arrangement. I reply when he message me but this is just out of respect. My mom seems so fine about this. She seems happy that when she talks about this guy, he calls him as my "fiance". My mom always says that the decision is on me, but her actions are implicitly telling me to do this.
What would I do? I am scared to the fact that I am marrying a stranger old man after I graduate which will be in 2 years. I have hundreds of thoughts. Half of me says it will be okay, since my future will be secured because opportunities will be waving at me abroad and I'll have a rich husband which I am just dreaming back then.
My mom would be happy about this. But half of me wants to refuse. Would I be happy? I am indecisive. Honestly, I am in the course program that I don't really like. I failed to fight for my dream course because I need to be practical, because my mom says I should be practical.
I let this happen because it's only for 4 years. I told myself that I will only suffer for 4 years in the course I am not interested in, and it will be okay. But this marriage arrangement seems very serious now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I am not interested to. But, I don't want to dissapoint my mom.
It may be a bit unreasonable and cliche but I think it is every girl's dream to meet and end up with someone they are really in love with. You want to be with someone you are really into. I haven't experienced dating yet. I am NBSB. I also wants to feel kilig, date nights, first times, and butterflies in the stomach with the guy I have crush on or I like.
It would be a comfort to me reading your comments and advices.
I already told my bestfriend about this and hoping she will not asked nor confirm if it is really me who confessed here. I would be embarassed. My thoughts just have really gone wild, and I don't want to bother her saying the same things and reasons all over again and end up not decided at all.
Y
2nd year
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