HEAVEN KNOWS

Ken and I are friends since first day of school. He's the one na mahilig mang-asar, mangiliti, magpatawa, annoying, but sometimes in a while, I realized he's a sweet one. I'm the opposite. Since elementary, they're making a fuss about us being a couple. Siya lang yung lalaking pumupunta sa birthday ko, graduation treat, even birthday ng kapatid ko. Sabi pa nila, naging kaliwete ako dahil ginaya ko siya noong kinder dahil wala namang kaliwete sa mga magulang ko, but I don't really remember how I ended being a left-handed. He loves math as I do, so we'd been always in one place. So much memories yet I can't spill out. Hanggang sa naghighschool kami nagkahiwalay kami ng school, and naging priority ko na ang pag-aaral. I can recall chatting with him sometime and meeting him personally... until we matured.

My friend said we're "MU", 'we were... but we didn't talk about it' I thought. He matured a lot and sometimes it's getting awkward. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba, pero awkward na din kaming dalawa simula nung naging girlfriend niya yung highschool friend ko. Nagkakasama pa din kami ngayon, occasionally. But I know it's getting worse when I start talking to one of our schoolmates in elem, which is his best friend. Nalibang ako that time, he's just so nice and he doesn't deserve to be hurt. But I know I'm hurting him. Since the time Ken lend his hand to dance with me ( not the time we'd been dancing since we we're partner in almost event in school), I swear to God he's the one I want to be my first boyfriend. Pero kinalimutan ko na yun nang naging girlfriend niya kaibigan ko. They didn't know about it at hindi ko sila pinapakialaman.

I just don't know what I am feeling. I still get jealous thinking you got a girl now but whenever our eyes met, they'rere telling something your mouth can't. I feel like a fool. Am I just imagining it?

I feel happy when I'm with his bestfriend, pero may isang beses na sinabi niya na binalak ni Ken na ligawan ako and damn my mind got wilder, 'what if totoo? What if he's my boyfriend now? Will I be at peace?' Only heaven knows And yes, sinasaktan ko na naman ang lalaking nandyan sa tabi ko at ang kaibigan ko. I should do nothing, just feel the pain, but Ken, if someday we will meet again, after few more years, I could still hear your heart, and everything is fine, please be sincere.

Positive

2020

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