CHIKO

I don't know kung saan ko ito uumpisahan.

I am not beautiful pero cute raw ako. I have 2 dimples, 5 flat ang height, short hair, maputi rin naman ako but I am not chinita.

I just wanna describe myself for the readers. So eto na nga I already working na, but feeling ko 15 years old pa rin ako and still wandering kung anong gusto kong gawin sa buhay, kung anong pangarap ko at gagawin ko sa future.

I had my first boyfriend way back college days, hindi naging maganda ang umpisa namin lalo na yung paghihiwalay namin. Because of my ex-boyfriend I got depressed and nagka-insomnia but ngayon ayos na ako after almost 2 years. Natakasan ko ang toxic na relasyon namin.

And now go back to my story, after 2 years I thought I would never fall in love again until I met this guy sa work ko.

Lets say he's the kind of guy na hinahanap ko, I mean sa mga nagiging crush ko kasi halos lahat sila may similarities.

Ayun he is chinito, matalino, tahimik siya, pero kapag nagsalita siya may laman, may takot sa Diyos, hindi siya payat kumbaga small build body type siya, mahilig mag aral, and sa age namin marami na siyang na-achieved.

Nung nakita ko siya noong una natatawa ako kasi kamukha niya yung professor ko sa calculus nung college akala ko nga mag ama sila haha.

Ayun as time goes by unti-unti ko siyang nakilala kahit sobrang napaka-private niyang tao. As in sobrang private kahit yung mga kasama namin sa work na kasabayan niya wala din masyadong alam tungkol sa personal life niya.

I don't like him before, kasi paano ko ba naman siya magugustuhan eh wala nga akong alam tungkol sa kanya masyado.

But then nung pauwi na ako nagmamadali kasi akong umuwi nakasalubong ko siya sa hallway sa labas ng office namin. Nagulat ako sa kanya. Sobrang kabog ng puso ko nun.

Tapos nag-goodnight siya samantalang ako na hindi ko na siya nasagot sa goodnight niya. Sa sobrang gulat ko nagmadali akong umalis ng office naghahabol din kasi ako ng masasakyan.

Habang pauwi ako nararamdaman ko pa rin yung kabog sa dibdib ko, tapos di na siya mawala sa isip ko, tapos kapag iniisip ko siya napapangiti ako.

After that night kapag nakikita ko siya sa office sa shift namin lagi akong nakatingin sa kanya. Kapag malapit siya at kapag kausap niya ako I felt something warm inside.

I felt different. I felt so secure and protected kapag kasama ko siya. Hindi ako kinikilig sa kanya kapag katabi ko siya but I felt so warm.

I like him at first and that simple crush turn into love. Hanggang sa nagkwentuhan kami ni mama tungkol sa trabaho ko at napansin niya na habang nagkukuwento ako sobrang saya ko lalo na kapag nabanggit ko yung lalaki at pinakita ang picture niya.

My mom asked me about him. Kung umamin na raw ba ako na may gusto ako doon sa ka-workmate ko. Then I told her no, di ko maamin eh.

I told her na hindi rin naman kase niya ako magugustuhan kasi Filipino ako at Chinese siya syempre ang gusto nun Chinese rin lalo na yung family niya.

Sabi ko hindi na ako magmamahal ulit, but then dumating siya, after my ex and I broke up I never felt this feeling again. I thought I will never fall in love again and I thought di na ako mangangarap na bumuo ng sarili kong family but God moves in a mysterious way.

I fall in love again. He gave me hope. He make me feel na dapat hindi ako matakot magmahal ulit. He inspire me to work hard for my goals. Hindi niya alam kung paano niya ako na-inspire at lumaban sa buhay.

Gusto kong sumubok, pero natatakot ako. May pag-asa kaya tayo? Mag-work kaya tayo? Kase kahit baliktarin natin ang mundo Chinese ka at Filipino ako.

Love

RegEx

2019

Unknown

TERRACOTTA IS FINDING HIS CHINA

We both don't believe in internet love, we just go along our vibes, you teach me how horoscopes works, you teach me the other side of the world is.

The three weeks feels like a century that I'm with you. You made me crazy in just one snap.

We both hate to live in the Philippines for good hon. We did silly things together like sharing unexplainable uncensored links,and sharing God's gospels.

I miss waking up 1 am in the morning, kasi sasamahan kita magpuyat since you're a call center agent (along makati). I miss checking you once i get home from Batangas to makati vise versa.

When you said that (I am worst, i am capable of being inconsiderate) then i always reply (hey i am aware, i understand, i genuinely handle you).

Since we met it made me feel complete, it made me feel nahanap ko 'yong nawawalang parte ng pagkatao ko. You made me happy like no one else could do.

My A, since you came my everyday wasn't complete. Indeed it is d@mn painful hon. You left all of a sudden, you left me hanging but you promised you'll never do that because of my heart's capacity.

We're both in old style way of love, when we value courtships, poems, and love letters.

We're so matured enough hon,we fixed and agreed to only one STRAIGHT plan.

Hon ang sakit, sobrang sakit. I want to win you right now, seriously. But i told you , I can't right now. I haven't had my college degree, you understand it right.

We both understand each other's priorities.

I love you A, together with your worst sides.

I am indeed sorry for deceiving you for who really i am, pero natanggap mo ako hindi ba?

And then this Aubrey (your bestfriend) came, she hates me. As if I'm capable of harming you.

And in just one snap i lost you.

Hon you brought my heart away from the moment you left. Hon we both don't believe in norms and philosophical beliefs, we praise and worship God together. Hon what happened (ang sakit ha).

And to Aubrey, hey we don't know each other. But Miss Aubrey i indeed love your bestfriend genuinely. Mahal na mahal ko siya mula noong nakilala ko siya hanggang ngayon.

Hey My China,

Hey, i want you to know that i love you. Yes i did lie on you but i regret it baby. Hon please talk to me , because i really don't know where to start finding you.

My Angel, please Nate is needing his Ally.

My China, please your Terracotta misses you so much!

My soulmate, my celestine.

Can you please comeback?

Hon you took a really big part of mine, when i told you na i will love you as God love His church. I mean it. Hon we'll go to Denmark pa diba. Hon let me fulfill my promises to you.

My Chinese blood won't meddle on us i promise you. I promise that I'll protect you from my family.

Hon please, i deceived you because i love you.

(SA MGA NAKAKABASA PO NITO!

SPREAD MY CONFESSION GUYS IF NANINIWALA PA RIN KAYO SA PAG IBIG!)

I'm desperate to find you my love.

Hon, if you're reading this right now. Please comeback. I love you and that's the purest truth in the world that full of lies.

Hey Ping, Angel Mae, call center Agent,Adu engineering student,21.

I am genuine and pure on my intentions to you.

God knows how i treasure you.

Hon I'm waiting.

My Jade, please comeback na.

We'll have our bible studies pa.

Our gifs cuddles.

I miss your thundercalling voice.

Crazy wife your needy husband misses you a lot!

Let's face the colorful together please? Please don’t be afraid.

When you asked me,

"Nate can you be selfish at once?"

Hon ito na po yon, i am claiming your love, please comeback in my arms.

Guys for who ever read this please help me find my wife.

PORTIA GREY

20**

Unknown

REASSURANCE

"Saan ka galing?"

Iyan yung bungad na mensahe ko sa kanya. Hindi siya umuwi kahapon sa pag-aakalang uuwi ako sa bahay namin at doon ako matutulog. Kaso hindi natuloy kase sabi ng kapatid ko next week na raw.

"Bakit ka ba tanong ng tanong? Chinat mo na ako kanina tungkol jan" padabog niya sagot.

Nasa isip ko? Bakit? May mali ba sa tanong ko? Gusto ko lang naman malaman at nasaan siya kagabi kase hindi siya umuwing apartment. Umaga na siya nakauwi, wala man lang paalam o chat kung nasaan siya. Bukod sa naghihintay ako, paano kung may nangyari na pala sa kanya.

"Tinanong kita. Sineen mo lang ako. Kaya nagtatanong ako ulit." mahinahong paliwanag ko.

"Ayan ka na naman sa mga tanong mo. Akala ko ba may tiwala ka sa akin ha? Hanggang ngayon ba pinagduduhan mo pa rin ako Shai?"

"Nagtanong lang naman ako kase hindi ka umuwi kagabi, at hindi ka man lang nagsabi."

"Sabi mo matutulog ka sa mga magulang mo diba? Kaya inaya ko mga barkada ko. May mali ba dun ha? Duda ka naman? Akala mo na naman niloloko ka? Wala ka talagang tiwala, nakakaumay ka, Shai! Lahat nalang kailangan alam mo? Baka pagtae ko kailangan ko pang sabihin sayo? Pwede ba ayusin mo naman sarili mo, kase nakakapagod ka na kasama..."

" Anong sabi mo ..."

Hindi ko matuloy tuloy ang gusto kong sabihin. Sa simpleng tanong ko na hindi niya masagot sagot, andami na niyang dagdag na sinabi.

~~~

We've been living together for almost five years. And you cheated on me a year ago.

Noong nalaman kong nagloko la, nangako kang magbabago na. Dahil mahal kita, pinatawad kita. Tinanggap kita. Ayoko namang bitawan ka sa isang pagkakamali lang. Ayoko namang sayangin ang ilang taon nating pagsasama dahil lang sa nalaman kong may babae ka. Ayokong magsisisi na baka kapag iniwan kita, ako lang ang masasaktan. At makahanap ka kaagad ng iba. Ayokong manghinayang

Mahal na mahal kita, to the point na noong nanghingi ka ng tawad, pinatawad kita kaagad.

Oo, pinatawad kita. But the pain and trauma inside, kahit anong gagawin ko hindi nawawala. I make myself busy whenever I overthink. Kung ano anong ginagawa ko para makalimutan ang panglolokong ginawa mo.

Pero ang hirap! Mahal kita, pero bawat tingin ko sa mga mata mo kapag magkasama tayo, minsan naiisip ko ang posisyon niyo ng babae mo nung magkasama kayo.

A lot of times na papasok ako sa banyo just to cry silently kase ayokong sisihin mo na naman ako. Aawayin mo na naman ako kase nagpapaka-praning ako. Pero di ba kasalanan mo 'to?

Why I am suffering alone? If all these sh*ts was caused by you? Gustong gusto ko ng kalimutan lahat, pero everytime na hindi ka magparamdam, everytime na hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka at wala ka sa trabaho, hindi ko maiwasang magduda.

I moved on from what you did. But please don't trigger the emotions inside me that I kept for almost a year.

I already consult a doctor tungkol dito sa pag-ooverthink ko. Kase as much as possible, gusto kong maibalik sa dati ang dating tayo. I am aware na nagiging toxic na ako, kaya gusto kong ayusin sarili ko.

Pero everytime I open up about my feelings, nagagalit ka kase wala akong tiwala sayo. As much as I want to, gusto kong magtiwala pero paano?

And what? Napapagod ka na? Hindi mo ba alam na paubos na ako, pero hindi ko naisipang mapagod. Kailanman hindi ko naisipang sumuko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sayo.

I know we can do this together, just please cooperate with me. Sabi nga nila, communication is the key. Kaya parang awa mo na makisama ka.

Shai

2021

Marketing

Unknown

PROF MO SADBOI MANIPULATIVE NA CHEATER PA

Panahon ba talaga ng mga cheaters ngayon?

Ang dami nila nagkalat eh tapos proud na proud pa na nakasira sila ng pagkatao.

Well to start off, I was in 2nd year college when I met this guy. Sobrang malalapitan siya when it comes to acads and magiging malapit ka tlga kasi yung approach niya pang tropa. After 2nd sem, I added him on facebook. Sabi ko oks naman tong si sir saka add ko lang tapos naman na yung sem. But I never thought na magiging feeling close siya. So, yung magbibigay na siya ng grades midnight ako nagpasa eh. Nagchat siya na may grade na raw ako look ko yung email. Nagbibiro pa siya sakin na bagsak daw ako lols.

Fast forward na wala ng gagawin sa subject niya, he suddenly replied to my stories. Tapos sinasabihan niya pa ako na bibigyan niya ako ng tres so ako sinakyan ko yung trip niya. Malakas din ako magbiro eh. To make the story short, yung conversation naming humaba when he told me about his past relationship, job and nag advice din then he suddenly asked me “looking daw ba ko sa jowa?” then I said, “hindi sir, kusang dumadating daw yun sabi nila.” I kept on insisting na huwag niya ako bigyan ng tres. Kahit perfect ko naman yung exam. Ayun pala nilalandi niya na ako lols. Actually, hindi ko naman siya pinapansin. Siya itong papansin sa akin at hindi ko nga siya pinapansin noon during class basta alam ko professor ko siya sa ganitong subject. So, ayun tumagal yung usapan namin hanggang sa nagka aminan ng feelings. Sa start ng relationship, natatakot pa siya kasi ghoster kami parehas. Nag aasaran kami sa pagiging ghoster namin. Tapos sinasabihan niya ako “huwag mo akong iiwan. Hindi ko kakayanin.” Inaatake siya ng anxiety niya noon kaya di na nakapagreply. Nangako siya sa friends ko na di mang iiwan ganyan at alam ng mga friends niya saka some of his former students na meron kami.

Sobrang tago at ingat pa kami noon hahaha. Sa loob ng 11 months na naging kami, hindi kami nag away. He acted so in love with me and we even exchange emails thru gmail, nagvideo call, sending sweet messages ganyan talagang mapapaniwala kang mahal ka niya e. (ew kadiri na lang pag naalala ko) Tapos neto lang nakaraan after naming magkita ng Monday, ramdam ko na yung coldness. Akala ko okay kami eh. Tapos sanay ako na ganon na we gave each other space for acads and work niya kasi not all the time hindi naman namin need mag usap. Kumbaga we’re starting this relationship na may healthy communication. Pero hindi pala may iba na pala yun. The more you gave his freedom, the more na aabusuhin niya yun. Then last night, he confessed that he cheated on me and want nya na maghiwalay kami agad. Sinabi niya na matagal silang hindi nag uusap ni girl na mismong party lang na yun sila nag usap. They flirted each other. Una sabi niya, usap lang. Tapos sumunod na message nagyakapan at dantayan na sila pero no s*x or kiss happened daw. Pilit ko siyang pinapaamin noon pero ayan sinasabi niya paulit ulit. Tapos pag gising ko kinabukasan kalmado na ako saka lang nag sink in sa akin lahat.

Noong una gusto ko pa ayusin kasi kung ganon lang naman eh pero madaling madali siya na iwanan ko. Gustong gusto niya na tapusin yung relasyon imbis na humingi siya ng tawad at sabihin na magbabago siya. As in pilit niyang sinasabi sa akin na respeto sa sarili ko kasi nag cheat na nga siya eh mayroon na akong trust issue which is mahihirapan na daw kaming dalawa. Take note, pinagmamalaki niya pang first time niyang nag cheat. Ang clownsh*t. Galing siya sa cheating before kasi yung ex niya pinagpalit siya tapos siya rin pala gagawin yon. He even told me na, “hindi ko gagawin sayo yung mag cheat kasi alam ko na magiging tingin sa akin ng mga tao ganon pala.” Pero lahat ng sinabi mo sa akin mga promises mo kinain mo lang. Okay ba panalong panalo ka na ba? Natatakot ka pa na malaglag kasi yari ka sa school pag nalaman na MARAMI KANG STUDENTS NA NILANDI HINDI LANG AKO. T*ngin* ako lang yung nagpaloko sayo SIR SADBOI MANIPULATIVE NA CHEATER. Balita ko nga rin na mahilig ka sa mga brainy na babae. Tapos lahat aawrahan mo hahahaha. And guess what sa nalaman ko rin? Hindi lang kayo that night nagkausap. 3 days na pala and for sure matagal na kayong nag uusap. Actually nakasama mo na nga nung nagpagupit ka. AKALA KO BA HINDI KO SIYA IPUPURSUE “SARILI MUNA” “CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MUNA” “MAGSESEEK AKO NG PROFESSIONAL KASI IN DENIAL NA AKO” pero kinikilig ka pa kasi first time na may sumama sayo na BABAE magpagupit. DI KA BA LOVE NG MAMA MO NOON? HAHA babaero ih. HAHAHA ALAM KO RIN NAMAN NA IMPOSIBLENG YAKAP AT DANTAYAN LANG NO S*X OR KISS TAPOS THAT NIGHT LANG. GAGO GAWIN MO PA AKONG BOBO KA. HAHAHA. So ayun, proud cheater talaga siya parang achievement sa kanya. Good luck DOC! Graduate ka na next year pero hindi sa pagiging cheater. Kasi forever mo ng sakit yan. WALA PA LANG LUNAS YAN DOC. Sana ayan seryosohan na talaga ah? Dating to marry talaga yan? Baka izzaprank ulit yan. HAHAHA Nakakuha ka na naman ng babae dahil sa mga matatamis mong salita ayie! More bebe to come! Feeling gwapo ka e. HAHAHAHA Dami ngang nagtataka bakit kita pinatulan. Ayun lang. HAHAHA HELLO SIR SADBOI MANIPULATIVE NA CHEATER.

Ps. Kung iniisip mo hinahabol kita yun lang yon. Mga 1 hour lang pinagsisihan ko rin agad. Di ka pala kagwapuhan para habulin. Kwento mo sa 5’3 mong height lakas mo mambabae HAHAHAHA At saka I don’t need your support and andito lang ako lagi for you. Ayoko ng pangit na sumusuporta sa akin. Nalibadbaran ako sa totoo lang.

Pps. Buti na lang di tayo tumagal. Hindi naging sobrang miserable buhay ko sayo. Sayang tangos ng ilong ko, cuteness ko at 5’5 ko na height ha. Dami pa akong kwento kaso nandidiri na lang talaga ako.

WARNING!!

MAG INGAT KAYO SA MGA PROF NYO NA KUNWARI IBABAGSAK KAYO TAPOS NILALANDI NA PALA KAYO. INGAT WAG PAPALOKO LALO PAG SOBRANG FC. BAKA KAYO NA NEXT VICTIM NETO. MWAH.

Henlo Sir

Faculty of abC

2020

Pirates MNL

ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Back in the days I was younger, I always tell my friends that I am gonna marry someone whose rich and old so when he dies, I am gonna inherit his money. My friends do agrees with me. We tell this to each other when we feel exhausted by studying or to life, as a whole. This is purely a joke or just to ligthen up our feelings and I can't imagine it might really happen to me.

I am a teenager. My tita and tito is residing abroad. Tito was a US Navy but now a retiree. They have a huge age gap because my Tito is already old when he met Tita. They were engaged to marry, but not because of love.

Tita, a Filipino citizen back then was arranged to get married to Tito, which is a US citizen, in order for Tita to become a US Citizen as well. They were so called "pen pals". It is undeniable that this is an instant way to become a citizen in US. Tito have arranged papers like K1 visa or like a fiance visa in order to get my tita from the Philippines to US.

Fortunately, Tita and Tito end up together and in love.

One day, I woke up hearing my mom talking to tita on facebook video call about a rich old guy which is my tito's colleague. This rich old guy is also a US Navy but now a retiree. This rich old guy wants to marry a relative of tita.

I don't know that guy's intention but it feels like they are arranging me to get married to that guy so I will end up being a US citizen as well. Tita also added that this old guy is really rich that his house has security personnels.

I woke up because of their loud conversation and because the door from my room is open. When I finally leave my room, my mom excitingly talk about it to me and if I am okay with it. Eventhough I am still in shock, I feel like my mom thinks it is a good idea so I unhesitantly said, "Oo, okay lang."

She complemented me and told tita which is her older sister, "Oh diba mabait yang anak ko na yan. Alam nya kasi yung hirap ng buhay".

At first it is really okay to me. Its not bothering me at all. It just feels too good to be true. Later that day, tita gave me the email of the old guy and introduce myself to him. She told me that she already told the old guy my name but it'll be better if I'll introduce myself to him.

So then, I did it. I emailed him. He replied at night maybe because of time difference since he's from abroad. He seems really nice. He told me that eventhough I am only a teen, my soul speaks like a mature woman. He sent me his current pictures as well as his family pictures. He told me has 2 sons but lives far away from him so he basically lives alone.

He told me about the K1 visa or a fiance visa which my tita and tito also did back then. He also told me that we have to email each other from time to time because this will be the evidence of our relationship to be presented in the embassy when we'll file a marriage I think.

My mother agrees to this because the old guy assures us that he'll let me graduate first from college since I am already halfway there.

We exchanged messages in emails for 4 longgg days now and it bothers me big time. He is really kind, don't get me wrong, but I am not feeling good about this. I don't know if I'll continue emailing him or tell my mom that I want to refuse to this arrangement. I reply when he message me but this is just out of respect. My mom seems so fine about this. She seems happy that when she talks about this guy, he calls him as my "fiance". My mom always says that the decision is on me, but her actions are implicitly telling me to do this.

What would I do? I am scared to the fact that I am marrying a stranger old man after I graduate which will be in 2 years. I have hundreds of thoughts. Half of me says it will be okay, since my future will be secured because opportunities will be waving at me abroad and I'll have a rich husband which I am just dreaming back then.

My mom would be happy about this. But half of me wants to refuse. Would I be happy? I am indecisive. Honestly, I am in the course program that I don't really like. I failed to fight for my dream course because I need to be practical, because my mom says I should be practical.

I let this happen because it's only for 4 years. I told myself that I will only suffer for 4 years in the course I am not interested in, and it will be okay. But this marriage arrangement seems very serious now. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I am not interested to. But, I don't want to dissapoint my mom.

It may be a bit unreasonable and cliche but I think it is every girl's dream to meet and end up with someone they are really in love with. You want to be with someone you are really into. I haven't experienced dating yet. I am NBSB. I also wants to feel kilig, date nights, first times, and butterflies in the stomach with the guy I have crush on or I like.

It would be a comfort to me reading your comments and advices.

I already told my bestfriend about this and hoping she will not asked nor confirm if it is really me who confessed here. I would be embarassed. My thoughts just have really gone wild, and I don't want to bother her saying the same things and reasons all over again and end up not decided at all.

Y

2nd year

Unknown