Hi there Love! I am so happy that throughout our entire 4 years relationship, you never cheated on me. You are always there whenever I need you, you always make me happy in every way, you always put efforts for me, and you never throw hurtful words to me.
Pero nagising ako isang araw, narealized ko wala sa kahit na isa dyan yung ginagawa mo sakin. I always talk to my friends about how caring, loving you are but that’s the total opposite of you. Wala ka sa mga panahong kailangan kita (my grandfather died, my family became broken, I lost my scholarships, I lost almost all of my friends, I became depressed and suicidal). Yes, you make me happy and put efforts for me when it’s convenient for you. And you always hurt me by your words, you never hurt me physically but you destroy my mental health but ang tanga ko, cause I keep on staying and keep on coming back to you kasi Mahal kita.
This whole quarantine made me realized that I should stop this nonsense. I deserve better. I always envy other relationships kasi they look so happy and strong. Naiintindihan kita, sobrang naiintindihan kita sa kahit na anong aspeto. Sa tuwing naglalaro ka kahit kasama mo ako at hindi mo ako kasama, wala naman akong say don; hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Sa tuwing nagaaway tayo, I always say sorry first kasi ayoko nang lumala pa yung away natin. Sa tuwing nagkakaproblema tayo, palagi mo akong tinutulugan kaya nasanay na lang ako na pasayahin yung sarili ko by watching videos. You are always accusing me of cheating, hinahayaan ko lang kapag sinasabihan mo akong malandi at pokpok. Remember yung time na nagaway tayo, you left me at the middle of the night without an umbrella kasi oo nga pala paying mo yun. Pag-uwi ko, ako pa nagsorry sayo kasi nabasa ka, I even checked if okay ka lang ba or may sakit ka but that time, ako talaga yung masama pakiramdam. I never told you what I feel kasi ayaw mo namang nakikinig even rants ko sa life, you never cared about that sabi mo pa nagpapabebe lang ako.
Sa 4 years na relationship natin, I learned many things. I learned to get up on my own, to find ways for myself, to fight for myself, to become strong for myself but I don’t learn how to love myself because I kept on coming back to you kasi ang tanga ko, na sobrang mahal kita kesa sa sarili ko. Pinanghahawakan ko pa din yung mga sinabi mo sakin pero ngayon ready na akong bitawan lahat ng yun kasi yung kinatatakutan ko nangyari na. YOU CHEATED ON ME.
That’s the cue to end all of this. Masaya pa din ako kasi I saw you grew into a better man kahit hindi na ako ang mahal mo (I think 2 years ago you fell out of love, ako lang yung gustong magstay kasi nga mahal kita) but inner self told me that I should stop. From this day on, I am not your girl anymore.
Wishing you all the best in life. Sana after ilang years, magkita pa ulit tayo and we can talk about those days without regrets into our life. I still love you but I should love myself more.
Chimchim
2019
Alumni
RTU
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