The night before, I couldn't contain my happiness, kaya tinext kita:
Me: See you tomorrow, Ken
smile emoticon
Him: Yes, see you in your wedding dress, my beautiful bride
smile emoticon
Wedding Day:
I saw you right there, so dapple in your tailor-made suit, standing tall amidst the crowd, waiting at the altar. The wedding singer started singing, it's our favorite song "Runaway" by The Corrs. It was my cue to walk down the aisle. Everyone was smiling, one look at their faces, alam kong masaya sila. Habang papalapit ako, flashbacks of our memories together came in my mind. The 7 years of our relationship, before this unforgettable day, the ups and downs of our life, our future, on how many kids we wanted to have, where to settle, the promises and the life that we are going to live for a lifetime.
But, I noticed, you were crying. Were those tears of joy? Why? I asked myself.
Pagdating ko sa dulo ng altar, you held my hand and hugged me so tight. And whispered, "I Love you, Scar, always will."
Then you gave my hand to him, your bestfriend.
That day, I married your bestfriend.
The Bride
Faculty of Philosophy
2008
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Shooting Star
A day after my Lolo died, I rummaged through his stuff. I had so little sleep that I could not make sense why I did but I kept searching and searching until I came across a dusty leather bound journal. One that I remember he always read from when I asked him to tell me stories when I was little. I opened it, and found quaint little symbols and a dedication that read: " To G.M. "
Then flipped through the pages and realized that the journal was my Lolo's, and the stories he read to me were real accounts of his life.
I reached the end of the journal, and there was an unfinished entry, written in red ink and blotched by what seemed to me, teardrops. It read:
" Saturday, 18th October
I sat here all day thinking about what I could have possibly done to scare you away, my love. There are no words, no words at all to describe how I feel right now. All I know is that this pain is the worst kind of pain, and if ever I make it through, I will never be the same man again. Tell me, have you forgotten all the promises we made? I promised to marry you, and so I shall, but alas, now that you're gone, how can I? "
I was amused at how my Lolo wrote. In my mind I knew it was my Lola he was writing for. They loved each other very much, and I didn't think that they would have such misunderstandings like these over the years.
My Lola came in and asked if I was okay. I nodded, and held the journal close to me. She looked at it with a wide gaze, and paused for a moment before shedding a tear.
"They're together now", she uttered faintly.
"Who is, Lola?"
"Your Lolo, and Cassandra, his first love."
I was filled with curiosity. Lolo always told me that Lola was his first love. So then, who is this Cassandra?
"That journal is all about Cassandra, my dear child. Your Lolo loved her so much. I should know, I am his best friend. I was there through it all. Cassandra was ahead of our time. She was very strange, so very strange. Your Lolo has an appetite for strange, that is why he was so drawn to her. They became a couple for so long that your Lolo was already planning to propose marriage to her. One night, she suddenly disappeared. Just gone, with no goodbyes. Gonzalo vowed that he will be with that shooting star again. Days before your Lolo died, he had recurring dreams of Cassandra, asking him to come with her. We talked about it. He told me that he refused to come with her. He has been miserable all these years, so I let him go. I gave him my blessing, and one night, he just stopped breathing."
Ch
AMV College of Accountancy
Then flipped through the pages and realized that the journal was my Lolo's, and the stories he read to me were real accounts of his life.
I reached the end of the journal, and there was an unfinished entry, written in red ink and blotched by what seemed to me, teardrops. It read:
" Saturday, 18th October
I sat here all day thinking about what I could have possibly done to scare you away, my love. There are no words, no words at all to describe how I feel right now. All I know is that this pain is the worst kind of pain, and if ever I make it through, I will never be the same man again. Tell me, have you forgotten all the promises we made? I promised to marry you, and so I shall, but alas, now that you're gone, how can I? "
I was amused at how my Lolo wrote. In my mind I knew it was my Lola he was writing for. They loved each other very much, and I didn't think that they would have such misunderstandings like these over the years.
My Lola came in and asked if I was okay. I nodded, and held the journal close to me. She looked at it with a wide gaze, and paused for a moment before shedding a tear.
"They're together now", she uttered faintly.
"Who is, Lola?"
"Your Lolo, and Cassandra, his first love."
I was filled with curiosity. Lolo always told me that Lola was his first love. So then, who is this Cassandra?
"That journal is all about Cassandra, my dear child. Your Lolo loved her so much. I should know, I am his best friend. I was there through it all. Cassandra was ahead of our time. She was very strange, so very strange. Your Lolo has an appetite for strange, that is why he was so drawn to her. They became a couple for so long that your Lolo was already planning to propose marriage to her. One night, she suddenly disappeared. Just gone, with no goodbyes. Gonzalo vowed that he will be with that shooting star again. Days before your Lolo died, he had recurring dreams of Cassandra, asking him to come with her. We talked about it. He told me that he refused to come with her. He has been miserable all these years, so I let him go. I gave him my blessing, and one night, he just stopped breathing."
Ch
AMV College of Accountancy
Left Behind
I started as your confidant, a platonic friend who constantly listens to your problems. I was at first aloof of your constant messages, and persistence of opening a conversation. Avoiding you is my way of rejection, because I can't befriend you. Then came one day, I got tired of your little hi’s and realized that you might just need a friend who isn’t part of your clique.
You opened up everything to me, from academic problems, family misunderstandings, how your day went, and relationship issues. It seems like I was your diary, a friend who listens and advices the way you need it. I tried to understand everything you shared with me, and kept them in a chamber behind my mind where no one can unlock it. I slowly became your confidant, your adviser, and your best friend.
Gradually, I became part of your circle and your friends knew me as well. Until I suddenly notice some difference. Your looks became intimate, our conversations got deeper, the time we spent together became longer, and we got out of the circle and went on our own- just the two of us. People around us started to doubt what are we, and I also begin to find my place. Who am I to you? What are we? What is this kind of feeling? These dilemmas gave me hell, until I decided to confront you. You honestly told me that we are something more, that you will fool yourself if you told me that we are just merely friends. Hearing those words coming directly from you suddenly freaks me. I was alarmed, knowing that this thing isn’t right.
So I sent you away, saying that you just misconceive the feelings you felt for me. We just spent more time together than we should, and we just got used to each other’s presence. You told me that you will fix things for me, but I didn’t hold on to that. I’ve told you to work things out, because it is the right thing to do. My presence is just giving you a crux to decide on, and I shouldn’t be in this situation in the first place anyway. We slowly drifted away, and live our lives before we met.
A few months passed, and I didn’t hear anything from you. That made me feel relieved, and told myself that I made the right decision, and said the right words. But you came back, telling me that the thing you previously had was already gone. You have decided to end the toxic relationship you had, telling me that your efforts weren’t reciprocated, and things can’t work out anymore. You told me that you continuously thought about me, and asked me to give it a try. You promised me that I can now hold on to you, things will be right, and you don’t want me to go. I saw the sincerity in your eyes, and I believed in you.
Things went smoothly for the two of us, were just purely happy together and it is evident with our smiles. People around us are happy too, like they’ve already expected this to come. Being with you is my happiest, and your efforts made me fall even more. You are showing me to the world like you are too proud to have me, you held me like you don’t want to let me go, your eyes smiles with your heart by just looking at me, and your kisses tastes like cotton candy. My happiness is overflowing, and I can’t find the right words to explain how this love drives me crazy.
One day you dropped by to send me some sweets to indulge in, and said good luck before driving home. It was one of those random days that your thoughtfulness makes my day, but I was unaware that it will also be the last sweet thing you’ll do for me.
A sudden jolt pinched my nerves after reading your message that night, telling me that you are already ending the thing between the two of us. I was dumbfounded; I don’t know how to react, I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know what to feel at that moment. You later told me that you didn’t really broke up, and you were given a last chance to choose. And you did not choose me.
I questioned myself, my decisions, my actions, and my heart for betraying me like this. I was wondering what went wrong, until I realized that it was all wrong from the very start. I should have chosen my battles, because this is the kind of game I could never really win. I don’t have the right to fight at all. I felt helpless. I felt used. I was completely unaware of what’s happening, and I don’t have the intentions to wreck someone else’s feelings. But I still did.
It’s been months now, but it seems like it was just yesterday; haunting me like I am a criminal. I can’t describe the kind of pain I am feeling every time I accidentally heard your name, and it seems like you are everywhere I go. I should be okay by now, but I am not. I can’t find my way back to be happy again, because this emptiness is slowly killing me. The struggle is real, and I’m recovering very slow. I was left behind without a decent goodbye, and it appears to be like I was just some kind of a regret; a mistake that you want to undo. That I don’t even deserve and explanation for everything that had happen. It’s so unfair.
I keep feeding my mind that I will get through this, that you just came into my life and went away to make me stronger. I have been in a wrong situation, but that shouldn’t make me less of a person of who I really am. I am having a hard time coping up, but instead of giving myself false hopes, I hope that you are already happy and you won’t need another me. I’m hoping for the happiness of us both, it just takes time for me to get there. Maybe you would have stayed if I haven’t left you first. It is truly painful to be left like this, and to be judged by people around me not knowing what had happen. But I’m trying my best to be strong and move forward, because life doesn’t end here.
I know you will soon figure out that I wrote this for you, and at that moment I hope I have already forgiven you.
Lou
2008
Faculty of Arts and Letters
You opened up everything to me, from academic problems, family misunderstandings, how your day went, and relationship issues. It seems like I was your diary, a friend who listens and advices the way you need it. I tried to understand everything you shared with me, and kept them in a chamber behind my mind where no one can unlock it. I slowly became your confidant, your adviser, and your best friend.
Gradually, I became part of your circle and your friends knew me as well. Until I suddenly notice some difference. Your looks became intimate, our conversations got deeper, the time we spent together became longer, and we got out of the circle and went on our own- just the two of us. People around us started to doubt what are we, and I also begin to find my place. Who am I to you? What are we? What is this kind of feeling? These dilemmas gave me hell, until I decided to confront you. You honestly told me that we are something more, that you will fool yourself if you told me that we are just merely friends. Hearing those words coming directly from you suddenly freaks me. I was alarmed, knowing that this thing isn’t right.
So I sent you away, saying that you just misconceive the feelings you felt for me. We just spent more time together than we should, and we just got used to each other’s presence. You told me that you will fix things for me, but I didn’t hold on to that. I’ve told you to work things out, because it is the right thing to do. My presence is just giving you a crux to decide on, and I shouldn’t be in this situation in the first place anyway. We slowly drifted away, and live our lives before we met.
A few months passed, and I didn’t hear anything from you. That made me feel relieved, and told myself that I made the right decision, and said the right words. But you came back, telling me that the thing you previously had was already gone. You have decided to end the toxic relationship you had, telling me that your efforts weren’t reciprocated, and things can’t work out anymore. You told me that you continuously thought about me, and asked me to give it a try. You promised me that I can now hold on to you, things will be right, and you don’t want me to go. I saw the sincerity in your eyes, and I believed in you.
Things went smoothly for the two of us, were just purely happy together and it is evident with our smiles. People around us are happy too, like they’ve already expected this to come. Being with you is my happiest, and your efforts made me fall even more. You are showing me to the world like you are too proud to have me, you held me like you don’t want to let me go, your eyes smiles with your heart by just looking at me, and your kisses tastes like cotton candy. My happiness is overflowing, and I can’t find the right words to explain how this love drives me crazy.
One day you dropped by to send me some sweets to indulge in, and said good luck before driving home. It was one of those random days that your thoughtfulness makes my day, but I was unaware that it will also be the last sweet thing you’ll do for me.
A sudden jolt pinched my nerves after reading your message that night, telling me that you are already ending the thing between the two of us. I was dumbfounded; I don’t know how to react, I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know what to feel at that moment. You later told me that you didn’t really broke up, and you were given a last chance to choose. And you did not choose me.
I questioned myself, my decisions, my actions, and my heart for betraying me like this. I was wondering what went wrong, until I realized that it was all wrong from the very start. I should have chosen my battles, because this is the kind of game I could never really win. I don’t have the right to fight at all. I felt helpless. I felt used. I was completely unaware of what’s happening, and I don’t have the intentions to wreck someone else’s feelings. But I still did.
It’s been months now, but it seems like it was just yesterday; haunting me like I am a criminal. I can’t describe the kind of pain I am feeling every time I accidentally heard your name, and it seems like you are everywhere I go. I should be okay by now, but I am not. I can’t find my way back to be happy again, because this emptiness is slowly killing me. The struggle is real, and I’m recovering very slow. I was left behind without a decent goodbye, and it appears to be like I was just some kind of a regret; a mistake that you want to undo. That I don’t even deserve and explanation for everything that had happen. It’s so unfair.
I keep feeding my mind that I will get through this, that you just came into my life and went away to make me stronger. I have been in a wrong situation, but that shouldn’t make me less of a person of who I really am. I am having a hard time coping up, but instead of giving myself false hopes, I hope that you are already happy and you won’t need another me. I’m hoping for the happiness of us both, it just takes time for me to get there. Maybe you would have stayed if I haven’t left you first. It is truly painful to be left like this, and to be judged by people around me not knowing what had happen. But I’m trying my best to be strong and move forward, because life doesn’t end here.
I know you will soon figure out that I wrote this for you, and at that moment I hope I have already forgiven you.
Lou
2008
Faculty of Arts and Letters
NgaNga
Nagsimula ang lahat ng maging magkatabi kami nung first year. Madalas nya akong asarin, pero ako nakikiride lang. Pano ba naman, kilala sya sa classroom na badboy, kaya hanggat maaari, sinubukan kong hindi makisama sa kanya at sa mga kaibigan nya. Akala ko nung nagkahiwalay kami ng section nung second year, makakaligtas na ako sa mga pangaasar nya. Pero mas malala pa pala ang mga nangyari. Parang title ng movie "That thing called Tadhana."
Nagkahiwalay nga kami ng section, pero nagsimula naman kaming magusap sa text. Hindi ko din alam kung pano nga nagsimula, pero ang alam ko hindi nakukumpleto ang araw ng hindi sya nakakatext. Nakaramdam na din ako ng pag asa sa love story naming dalawa, hanggang sa naconfirm ko na meron nga. Dahil isang araw, umamin na nga sya.
Sya: Mahal na ata kita..
Ako: O__O
Natuwa ako syempre, dahil gusto ko din sya. Pero kasabay non, natakot din ako. Dahil kilala nga syang badboy, at hindi ako sigurado kung totoo ba ang sinasabi nya, o isa lang ako sa mga collection nya. Kaya hindi ko din sinabi sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. Sinabi ko lang sa kanya na patunayan nya muna na talagang mahal nya ako. He agreed. Sabi niya liligawan nya ako. Kaya naman sa school kapag breaktime, pumupunta sya sa room at tumatabi sakin para kausapin ako. Nakakatuwa lang, kasi pakiramdam ko talagang nageeffort sya. Madalas syang mag I love you sa text, pero hindi ko pa rin sinasagot. Dahil narin siguro galing ako sa heartbreak bago sya nagparamdam, at sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kung magmamahal ulit ako gusto ko ung mamahalin din ako ng totoo.
Sya: Alam mo na ba?
Ako: Na?
Sya: Na mahal na mahal kita?
Ako: (Speechless)
Kaya naman after a week, ng naramdaman kong totoo sya, nagdecide na ako na sagutin na sya..
Maaga ang uwian nila noon, at maaga din sya umuwi. Ako naman, excited na din umuwi para sabihin sa kanya na mahal ko din sya. Pagkacheck ko ng phone ko, wala na namang text. 2 days na kasi syang hindi nagttxt at since busy sa school, inakala ko na busy lang talaga sya. Kaya ako na nagtxt sa kanya.
Ako: Hi.. Kamusta ka na?
Sya: Eto, okay lang naman.
Ako: May gusto sana ako sabihin sayo e.
Sya: Ano?
Ako: Mahal din kita.
grin emoticon
Ang tagal ng reply. Iniisip ko na baka sobra syang natutuwa. Yung parang sa movies na nagtatatalon ang mga lalaki kapag sinasagot sila. Pero ito ang reply nya.
Sya: Sorry, pero narealize ko na ayoko muna magkagirlfriend. NArealize ko na gusto ko ung ganito, paflirt flirt na lang.
Ako: (Nagulat) Paflirt flirt? Akala ko ba mahal mo ko?
Sya: Ako din e. Akala ko din. Pero ganito talaga ako e. Sorry, hindi ko sinasadyang maging pafall.
Ako: (Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala) Hindi ako naniniwala. Sabihin mo sakin na mahal mo ko. Lagi mong sinasabi sakin na mahal mo ko bago ako matulog.
Sya: Osige. I love you, pero wala ng meaning to. Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Matulog ka na, may klase pa bukas.
That night pakiramdam ko bumagsak ang mundo sa katawan ko. Ang bigat sa dibdib, ang sakit. Hindi ko naimagine na magiging ganun ang kalalabasan. Pero ano nga ba ang dapat kong iexpect? Hindi pa rin pala sya nagbago, akala ko kaya nya magbago para sakin. Mali pala..
The next day, hindi ko alam kung pano sya haharapin kung sakaling magkasalubong kami. Pero isang balita ang unang sumalubong sakin..
Sila na daw ng classmate nya. At wala na akong ibang nagawa kundi ang mapanganga..
Miss AB
2010
Faculty of Arts and Letters
Nagkahiwalay nga kami ng section, pero nagsimula naman kaming magusap sa text. Hindi ko din alam kung pano nga nagsimula, pero ang alam ko hindi nakukumpleto ang araw ng hindi sya nakakatext. Nakaramdam na din ako ng pag asa sa love story naming dalawa, hanggang sa naconfirm ko na meron nga. Dahil isang araw, umamin na nga sya.
Sya: Mahal na ata kita..
Ako: O__O
Natuwa ako syempre, dahil gusto ko din sya. Pero kasabay non, natakot din ako. Dahil kilala nga syang badboy, at hindi ako sigurado kung totoo ba ang sinasabi nya, o isa lang ako sa mga collection nya. Kaya hindi ko din sinabi sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. Sinabi ko lang sa kanya na patunayan nya muna na talagang mahal nya ako. He agreed. Sabi niya liligawan nya ako. Kaya naman sa school kapag breaktime, pumupunta sya sa room at tumatabi sakin para kausapin ako. Nakakatuwa lang, kasi pakiramdam ko talagang nageeffort sya. Madalas syang mag I love you sa text, pero hindi ko pa rin sinasagot. Dahil narin siguro galing ako sa heartbreak bago sya nagparamdam, at sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kung magmamahal ulit ako gusto ko ung mamahalin din ako ng totoo.
Sya: Alam mo na ba?
Ako: Na?
Sya: Na mahal na mahal kita?
Ako: (Speechless)
Kaya naman after a week, ng naramdaman kong totoo sya, nagdecide na ako na sagutin na sya..
Maaga ang uwian nila noon, at maaga din sya umuwi. Ako naman, excited na din umuwi para sabihin sa kanya na mahal ko din sya. Pagkacheck ko ng phone ko, wala na namang text. 2 days na kasi syang hindi nagttxt at since busy sa school, inakala ko na busy lang talaga sya. Kaya ako na nagtxt sa kanya.
Ako: Hi.. Kamusta ka na?
Sya: Eto, okay lang naman.
Ako: May gusto sana ako sabihin sayo e.
Sya: Ano?
Ako: Mahal din kita.
grin emoticon
Ang tagal ng reply. Iniisip ko na baka sobra syang natutuwa. Yung parang sa movies na nagtatatalon ang mga lalaki kapag sinasagot sila. Pero ito ang reply nya.
Sya: Sorry, pero narealize ko na ayoko muna magkagirlfriend. NArealize ko na gusto ko ung ganito, paflirt flirt na lang.
Ako: (Nagulat) Paflirt flirt? Akala ko ba mahal mo ko?
Sya: Ako din e. Akala ko din. Pero ganito talaga ako e. Sorry, hindi ko sinasadyang maging pafall.
Ako: (Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala) Hindi ako naniniwala. Sabihin mo sakin na mahal mo ko. Lagi mong sinasabi sakin na mahal mo ko bago ako matulog.
Sya: Osige. I love you, pero wala ng meaning to. Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Matulog ka na, may klase pa bukas.
That night pakiramdam ko bumagsak ang mundo sa katawan ko. Ang bigat sa dibdib, ang sakit. Hindi ko naimagine na magiging ganun ang kalalabasan. Pero ano nga ba ang dapat kong iexpect? Hindi pa rin pala sya nagbago, akala ko kaya nya magbago para sakin. Mali pala..
The next day, hindi ko alam kung pano sya haharapin kung sakaling magkasalubong kami. Pero isang balita ang unang sumalubong sakin..
Sila na daw ng classmate nya. At wala na akong ibang nagawa kundi ang mapanganga..
Miss AB
2010
Faculty of Arts and Letters
Cersei x Jamie
I’d like to share my story, a story that’s frowned upon by many people who have heard of it and knew about it.
Itatago ko nalang ang sarili ko sa pangalang “Rachel”. I have a twin brother na itatago naman natin sa pangalang “Gavin”. Kuya Gavin and I shared a womb; we came to this world together. We grew up and learned together how judgmental the real world is.
It all started when we were 12. Originally, meron talaga kaming tig-isang kwarto, pero nang magkahiwalay ang tito ko at ang asawa nya, our parents decided that our uncle should stay at Gavin’s room for a while. Kuya Gavin had to move in to my room.
Every night was like a fun, slumber party. We would talk about stupid, childish things like inventing new mechanics for our “tagu-taguan” the following day, we would tell each other “Pedro, Juan and Jose” jokes and make fun of our neighbor’s kid who was about the same age as we were that time.
For four teenage years, we were in the same room; we slept in the same room, changed clothes in the same room. He was there for me, I was there for him. We shared each others’ heartaches. We shared problems. It wasn’t actually a big deal to the both of us but when our uncle finally got his sh*t together, he decided to move to Australia and Kuya Gavin had to move back to his old room. The first night of not being in a room together felt very different. Suddenly, everything was gloomy. Mostly, ang mga teenagers, they would kill to have a room of their own pero ako? I wanted my twin brother to be here with me. Just looking at that space on my room made me reminisce the times when he was sitting there, laughing at my jokes, kissing me on the forehead before he would take off his shirt and go to sleep. What I felt that night was so wrong, but in a way, it felt so good. I would recount the image of him taking off his shirt again again in my head. Napapa-kagat ako sa labi ko. But then I started crying. Feeling ko, baliw ako nung gabing ‘yun. Hindi ko napansin, madaling araw na, biglang may kumatok ng very, very light sa pinto ng kwarto. I opened the door and it was Kuya Gavin.
We looked at each others’ eyes for a minute. I saw the fire in his eyes. He held my face and he kissed me. We closed the door behind us and locked it. He kissed all over my neck and it felt so good; knowing that the one you’re doing this with was with someone you knew you trust with your life We were both virgins, I was sure of that and that night, we took away each others’ dignities.
After the sweaty, passionate sex, he stood up, kissed me on the forehead, put on his shirt and went back to his room. I was still surprised about what happened. I was there, lying naked between the sheets of a mistake that I, myself, loved to make.
The next day, it felt really awkward to be around him. Who wouldn’t be, right? I just had sex with my twin brother. If someone finds out, we’re both dead.
While we were eating lunch with the family, my dad was suddenly talking about incest. I don’t know why. We can’t look at each other when my dad was telling us this story of an abnormal kid formed by incest. But under the table, while our dad was continuously blabbing about it, Kuya Gavin held my hand.
Many nights passed and the same thing happened over and over again. He would go inside my room in the middle of the night, we would have sex, he would and we don’t speak about any of it the next day. I was starting to yearn for something more. I was falling deeply in love with my twin brother and I know, he’s feeling it too. He’d slip signs saying that he’s feeling the same.
For two years we had this thing going on. Until our 18th birthday came, my mother kept on asking the both of us why we don’t have any boyfriend and girlfriend yet. We would just laugh about it.
Another year passed by, Kuya Gavin brought home a girl. A girl she got pregnant. When he told us, I instantly ran to my room, locked the door and cried. Kuya Gavin kept banging on my bedroom door, saying that he’s sorry. My parents were really dumbfounded and shocked to see how both of us reacted. Both of them decided to have the baby out of wedlock.
After two months of not talking to each other and just deliberately locking myself into my room, I noticed that my menstruation stopped coming. I was freaking out. I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I never had sex with anyone else but my twin brother. My mother found out about me getting pregnant and my parents were devastated. My twin brother was having a baby, I was having a baby. I was in third year college when I got pregnant with Kuya Gavin.
That night, Kuya Gavin went to my room and for the first time, we talked about us. He held my hand and he was crying while kissing my fingers and gently putting them on his face. He kept on saying sorry. With all the things he said, this is what I remember most: “Kasi yung nararamdaman ko sa’yo, hindi katulad ng nararamdam ko para sa iba. Alam kong mali, pero mahal na mahal kita.”.
He asked me to elope. But it would be unfair for my parents and to the other baby he’s having. I decided to tell my parents that I was somehow tricked into having sex with a random guy and that I decided to have the baby as well. I remember Kuya Gavin saying that he would “stand as my baby’s father”. I also stopped going to school for a while to have my baby.
My baby boy is now 2 years old. He’s normal, thank the gods.
I know I would get a lot of judgment around here. But nobody knows who I am because I haven’t said anything about me in connection to UST. But I guess it’s for the best.
F
2010
College of Lannisters
Itatago ko nalang ang sarili ko sa pangalang “Rachel”. I have a twin brother na itatago naman natin sa pangalang “Gavin”. Kuya Gavin and I shared a womb; we came to this world together. We grew up and learned together how judgmental the real world is.
It all started when we were 12. Originally, meron talaga kaming tig-isang kwarto, pero nang magkahiwalay ang tito ko at ang asawa nya, our parents decided that our uncle should stay at Gavin’s room for a while. Kuya Gavin had to move in to my room.
Every night was like a fun, slumber party. We would talk about stupid, childish things like inventing new mechanics for our “tagu-taguan” the following day, we would tell each other “Pedro, Juan and Jose” jokes and make fun of our neighbor’s kid who was about the same age as we were that time.
For four teenage years, we were in the same room; we slept in the same room, changed clothes in the same room. He was there for me, I was there for him. We shared each others’ heartaches. We shared problems. It wasn’t actually a big deal to the both of us but when our uncle finally got his sh*t together, he decided to move to Australia and Kuya Gavin had to move back to his old room. The first night of not being in a room together felt very different. Suddenly, everything was gloomy. Mostly, ang mga teenagers, they would kill to have a room of their own pero ako? I wanted my twin brother to be here with me. Just looking at that space on my room made me reminisce the times when he was sitting there, laughing at my jokes, kissing me on the forehead before he would take off his shirt and go to sleep. What I felt that night was so wrong, but in a way, it felt so good. I would recount the image of him taking off his shirt again again in my head. Napapa-kagat ako sa labi ko. But then I started crying. Feeling ko, baliw ako nung gabing ‘yun. Hindi ko napansin, madaling araw na, biglang may kumatok ng very, very light sa pinto ng kwarto. I opened the door and it was Kuya Gavin.
We looked at each others’ eyes for a minute. I saw the fire in his eyes. He held my face and he kissed me. We closed the door behind us and locked it. He kissed all over my neck and it felt so good; knowing that the one you’re doing this with was with someone you knew you trust with your life We were both virgins, I was sure of that and that night, we took away each others’ dignities.
After the sweaty, passionate sex, he stood up, kissed me on the forehead, put on his shirt and went back to his room. I was still surprised about what happened. I was there, lying naked between the sheets of a mistake that I, myself, loved to make.
The next day, it felt really awkward to be around him. Who wouldn’t be, right? I just had sex with my twin brother. If someone finds out, we’re both dead.
While we were eating lunch with the family, my dad was suddenly talking about incest. I don’t know why. We can’t look at each other when my dad was telling us this story of an abnormal kid formed by incest. But under the table, while our dad was continuously blabbing about it, Kuya Gavin held my hand.
Many nights passed and the same thing happened over and over again. He would go inside my room in the middle of the night, we would have sex, he would and we don’t speak about any of it the next day. I was starting to yearn for something more. I was falling deeply in love with my twin brother and I know, he’s feeling it too. He’d slip signs saying that he’s feeling the same.
For two years we had this thing going on. Until our 18th birthday came, my mother kept on asking the both of us why we don’t have any boyfriend and girlfriend yet. We would just laugh about it.
Another year passed by, Kuya Gavin brought home a girl. A girl she got pregnant. When he told us, I instantly ran to my room, locked the door and cried. Kuya Gavin kept banging on my bedroom door, saying that he’s sorry. My parents were really dumbfounded and shocked to see how both of us reacted. Both of them decided to have the baby out of wedlock.
After two months of not talking to each other and just deliberately locking myself into my room, I noticed that my menstruation stopped coming. I was freaking out. I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I never had sex with anyone else but my twin brother. My mother found out about me getting pregnant and my parents were devastated. My twin brother was having a baby, I was having a baby. I was in third year college when I got pregnant with Kuya Gavin.
That night, Kuya Gavin went to my room and for the first time, we talked about us. He held my hand and he was crying while kissing my fingers and gently putting them on his face. He kept on saying sorry. With all the things he said, this is what I remember most: “Kasi yung nararamdaman ko sa’yo, hindi katulad ng nararamdam ko para sa iba. Alam kong mali, pero mahal na mahal kita.”.
He asked me to elope. But it would be unfair for my parents and to the other baby he’s having. I decided to tell my parents that I was somehow tricked into having sex with a random guy and that I decided to have the baby as well. I remember Kuya Gavin saying that he would “stand as my baby’s father”. I also stopped going to school for a while to have my baby.
My baby boy is now 2 years old. He’s normal, thank the gods.
I know I would get a lot of judgment around here. But nobody knows who I am because I haven’t said anything about me in connection to UST. But I guess it’s for the best.
F
2010
College of Lannisters
M o v e - o n
You broke up. You move on. Magigising ka na lang isang araw na okay na. Wala na yung bigat ng feeling. Yung sa tuwing maaalala mo siya, may kirot. Oo, masayang alalahanin yung pinagsamahan niyo, lahat ng pinagdaanan niyo throughout your relationship (or kahit MU lang kayo), but you can't deny the fact that it still hurts. Mapapaisip ka na naman kung saan ka nagkulang or kung saan kayo nagkamali. Kasi kung feeling mo "clean" ka na of all the memories and the hurt, panandalian lang yan, sa totoo lang.
Mare-realize mo na hindi ka pa totally nakakalimot. Aminin man kasi natin or hindi, may mga bagay na mahirap makalimutan lalo na kung matindi ang naging epekto. Maybe kasi yung taong yun yung nagturo sayo kung paano maging matatag or yung nagparamdam sayo na importante ka. Siguro naman kasi siya yung laging nandiyan para sayo. He/She inspires you to be a better you, and he/she believes in what you can do. Or baka naman kasi, "the first cut is the deepest" lang ang peg. Mahirap nga kung ganun. Pero, to all of us, mapa-babae man or lalake, walang mali dito. Lahat naman siguro tayo mararanasang ma-fall sa hindi natin inaasahang tao sa hindi inaasahang oras sa hindi malinaw na dahilan.
All I want to say is, makaka-move on ka talaga. Mahirap, pero hindi naman pwede na habambuhay na lang magmumukmok, right? Help yourselves. Find distractions. Yung makakatulong sayo para makagawa ng mga makabuluhang bagay. And think of the nice memories na lang kung hindi talaga maiwasang hindi isipin ang nakaraan. At one point, mangingiti ka. Then maiiyak ka. Hanggang sa darating yung araw na masasabi mong okay na okay na okay ka na. (Maaaring matagal pa yun pero tiwala lang.) Pwedeng nakahanap ka na ng iba... ibang pagtutuunan ng pansin. Or tanggap mo na talaga sa sarili mo na, sa ngayon, hindi niyo pa time and maybe hindi naman kasi talaga kayo ang nakatakda. Kumalma ka lang. Isipin mo, kung pinilit mo ang sarili mo sa taong yun, masaya ka ba ngayon? Always ask yourself that question. It helps. Kung oo ang sagot mo, ewan ko sayo. Joke lang. Sagot mo yan eh, ang sa akin lang, wag mong ipilit kung ayaw na sayo. Someone better's coming for you.
smile emoticon
PS. So magulo yung gusto kong sabihin? I'm sorry
frown emoticon
Pero ganito talaga ako. Hehe. I hope may mga nakaintindi sa akin. I tried organizing my thoughts into words pero mahirap. Basta, darating din ang araw na magiging okay na ang lahat. To everyone who bothered to read this, salamat!
smile emoticon
PPS. To girls left hanging, bitaw na. Ako rin naman, naiwang umaasa. Masakit talaga sa una pero kakayanin yan. Sa mga paasa naman, bakit kayo ganyan! Joke lang. Pero kasi, kung wala kayong intention talaga, don't mess with anyone's feelings. Wag niyong iparamdam na ganito, ganyan. Oo, maaaring assumera lang kami pero hindi kami magiging ganito kung wala kayong pinaparamdam. Okay? I know na hindi pa ubos ang mga lalakeng matino at may isang salita.
smile emoticon
Z
201*
College of Science
Mare-realize mo na hindi ka pa totally nakakalimot. Aminin man kasi natin or hindi, may mga bagay na mahirap makalimutan lalo na kung matindi ang naging epekto. Maybe kasi yung taong yun yung nagturo sayo kung paano maging matatag or yung nagparamdam sayo na importante ka. Siguro naman kasi siya yung laging nandiyan para sayo. He/She inspires you to be a better you, and he/she believes in what you can do. Or baka naman kasi, "the first cut is the deepest" lang ang peg. Mahirap nga kung ganun. Pero, to all of us, mapa-babae man or lalake, walang mali dito. Lahat naman siguro tayo mararanasang ma-fall sa hindi natin inaasahang tao sa hindi inaasahang oras sa hindi malinaw na dahilan.
All I want to say is, makaka-move on ka talaga. Mahirap, pero hindi naman pwede na habambuhay na lang magmumukmok, right? Help yourselves. Find distractions. Yung makakatulong sayo para makagawa ng mga makabuluhang bagay. And think of the nice memories na lang kung hindi talaga maiwasang hindi isipin ang nakaraan. At one point, mangingiti ka. Then maiiyak ka. Hanggang sa darating yung araw na masasabi mong okay na okay na okay ka na. (Maaaring matagal pa yun pero tiwala lang.) Pwedeng nakahanap ka na ng iba... ibang pagtutuunan ng pansin. Or tanggap mo na talaga sa sarili mo na, sa ngayon, hindi niyo pa time and maybe hindi naman kasi talaga kayo ang nakatakda. Kumalma ka lang. Isipin mo, kung pinilit mo ang sarili mo sa taong yun, masaya ka ba ngayon? Always ask yourself that question. It helps. Kung oo ang sagot mo, ewan ko sayo. Joke lang. Sagot mo yan eh, ang sa akin lang, wag mong ipilit kung ayaw na sayo. Someone better's coming for you.
smile emoticon
PS. So magulo yung gusto kong sabihin? I'm sorry
frown emoticon
Pero ganito talaga ako. Hehe. I hope may mga nakaintindi sa akin. I tried organizing my thoughts into words pero mahirap. Basta, darating din ang araw na magiging okay na ang lahat. To everyone who bothered to read this, salamat!
smile emoticon
PPS. To girls left hanging, bitaw na. Ako rin naman, naiwang umaasa. Masakit talaga sa una pero kakayanin yan. Sa mga paasa naman, bakit kayo ganyan! Joke lang. Pero kasi, kung wala kayong intention talaga, don't mess with anyone's feelings. Wag niyong iparamdam na ganito, ganyan. Oo, maaaring assumera lang kami pero hindi kami magiging ganito kung wala kayong pinaparamdam. Okay? I know na hindi pa ubos ang mga lalakeng matino at may isang salita.
smile emoticon
Z
201*
College of Science
Sarap magmahal ng bad boy
Here it goes.. There's this guy, your typical bad guy. He walks with imposingly proud gait. He talks boastfully and arrogantly. He plays basketball well. He's into making girls cry and cutting classes to play League of legends or tambay/tagay with his friends. Swear, I wasn't into that kind of boys. He texted me a year ago pero hindi ko sya feel kaya hindi ko sya nirereplyan. He's from the same college as I am kaya lagi ko syang nakikita sa school. Minsan magkatabi classroom namin.. I seldom set foot outside our room during break time but when I do, lagi ko syang nakikita and srsly ang sarap nyang suntukin sa sobrang yabang ng aura.
Fast forward..
(2011) 2nd year na kami. naging classmate ko sya sa ilang subjects and pati sa klse namin pasikat si kumag. I don't like the way he sarcastically answers the instructors. Then one time nigroup kami ni sir, guess what.. Kagroup ko ang loko and it left me no choice kundi makipagplastikan kasi short film yung gagawin namin.. Kesa naman sa wala akong maitulong sa group. So ayon every day after class nagshoshoot kami. Then inaabot na kmi ng gabi. Minsan kasi ngsastarbucks pa after shooting. Then one time ng truth or dare. Nsakto skanya at tinanong sya ng classmate namin..
Non-verbatim
C: May pag asa bang magseryoso ka sa babae?
Awkward silence and nkatitig lang sya sakin for 3 mins.. Ako naman tong patay malisya kunyare ngttext pero yung totoo hinihintay ko yung isasagot nya..
Him: Meron, kung may babaeng magpapaseryoso sakin. (Nkatitig prin sakin, in my peripheral view)
Ngayon magt-two years na kami ni kumag. Hindi na sya yung dating bad boy at lagi nya kong sinusurprise. Di ko akalaing mgbabago ka para sa simpleng babaeng tulad ko..
Faculty of Engineering
2011
Fast forward..
(2011) 2nd year na kami. naging classmate ko sya sa ilang subjects and pati sa klse namin pasikat si kumag. I don't like the way he sarcastically answers the instructors. Then one time nigroup kami ni sir, guess what.. Kagroup ko ang loko and it left me no choice kundi makipagplastikan kasi short film yung gagawin namin.. Kesa naman sa wala akong maitulong sa group. So ayon every day after class nagshoshoot kami. Then inaabot na kmi ng gabi. Minsan kasi ngsastarbucks pa after shooting. Then one time ng truth or dare. Nsakto skanya at tinanong sya ng classmate namin..
Non-verbatim
C: May pag asa bang magseryoso ka sa babae?
Awkward silence and nkatitig lang sya sakin for 3 mins.. Ako naman tong patay malisya kunyare ngttext pero yung totoo hinihintay ko yung isasagot nya..
Him: Meron, kung may babaeng magpapaseryoso sakin. (Nkatitig prin sakin, in my peripheral view)
Ngayon magt-two years na kami ni kumag. Hindi na sya yung dating bad boy at lagi nya kong sinusurprise. Di ko akalaing mgbabago ka para sa simpleng babaeng tulad ko..
Faculty of Engineering
2011
Starting Never Again
We're classmates back in first year. Di tayo close. Matalino ka, popular ako. You hate my antics because I'm a ladies' man plus I always tease you. That's my reputation. But i'm not really that bad. Di ko naman pinagsasabay-sabay ang mga girlfriends ko. Mabilis lang ako magsawa. That's all. I know that was bad. I know I was mistaken. But yeah, that was the past. That was your impression on me.
Pero ako, sa simula pa lang, I know I like you. I am drawn to you. Kaya lagi kitang inaasar para magpapansin ako sayo. Pero you always keep your cool.
Pero alam ko na naiinis ka. Sa sobrang inis nakita kitang umiiyak noon sa may salamin sa cr. Paglabas mo, ako yung nakasalubong mo pero di mo ko pinansin. Di ko napigilan na mainis sa sarili ko dahil nasasaktan kita. So I hugged you. To ease the pain. That moment, I know I'm in love with you.
From that day on, nag-iba ako. The way I present myself, the way I talk with others, naging mas subtle ako. Naging mas friendly. Para mapansin mo. Even in class, mas naging participative na ako. Ikaw ang inspiration ko. Madalas pa nga, tayong dalawa ang nakakakuha ng highest marks sa exams. At dahil doon, napansin mo ako.
Nilapitan mo ako minsan, sabi mo sa akin, "Good Job, Mac."
Right there and then, kinilig ako. I dont know that man canalso get that tingling feeling pero, yun kasi yung naramdaman ko e. And then sabi ko sayo, can we be friends?
At dun tayo nagsimula. We started as friends. And after two years, I courted you. Muntik pa nga akong maunahan ng iba. Buti na lang mahal mo rin ako. We technically share everything. Madalas pa na natutulog ka sa pad ko na magkatabi tayo. Wala namang nangyari sa atin, but I'm contented just to hold you and feel you near me. There are even times na nag-usap tayo about our past and about our fears. Ang sabi ko sayo, takot akong mawala ka. Ikaw, ang sabi mo, takot kang iwan kita para sa iba. I answered back, sabi ko, "Hinding hindi kita iiwan at ipagpapalit. I may look at other women, pero hindi yun katulad ng pagtibgin ko sayo." And those were my exact words. Iam a man of my words. Tinotoo ko yung mga sinabi ko sayo. Umabot tayo ng fifth year sa college na magkasama. Imagine, two years have passed ng di natin masyadong namamalayan. But suddenly, bigla kang nawala. After ng anniversary natin, saka ka umalis. Hindi mo hinintay ang graduation. You didn't even text me or call me to let me know na aalis ka. Bigla ka na lang umalis ng bansa para mag-aral. I went to your house to ask your parents why. Hindi rin daw nila alam. Naawa pa sa akin ang parents mo. Tinulungan din nila akong contactin ka, pero kahit sila ayaw mong sagutin. I don't know what happened to you. To us. You left me hanging. I was devastated. Though, I graduated, I don't feel successful at all. Nakikibalita pa rin ako kina tito at tita about you and your whereabouts para sana puntahan kita sa America after grad, pero ang sabi nila, ayaw mo daw ipasabi. You know I can hate you for that. Pero hindi ko kaya. I loved you so much, it hurts me to hate you.
My parents are very worried about me dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko that time. Yeah. I was wasted. Pero sabi ng mama mo, I should get on with my life. And maybe there could still be an us, kapag bumalik ka na. That is what I'm holding on to.
But during the process of moving on, I met someone. At first, I know, Im cold and distant to her. I even shouted at her for trying so hard to be my friend. Classmate ko siya sa review center. And she asked me why I was always gloomy and sad. At doon ko siya naging kaibigan. She helped me move on and get through the pain that I got from your sudden goodbye. Wait you didn't even say your goodbyes.
Yes. She had me at my worst. And I thank God for giving her to me.
But then, you came back. Sinabi sa akin ng parents mo na bumalik ka na from America. I wasn't so thrilled about seeing you again.I already have a girlfriend. After four years na nawala ka, I'm already an established CPA by day and a student of law by night. While my girlfriend is working as a CPA in one of the biggest audit firms in the country.
I wasn't planning to see you again. Pero nagulat ako ng bigla ka na lang sumulpot sa office ko isang umaga. You even had an appointment. Out of courtesy na lang kaya ako ang humarap sa yo at hindi ang secretary ko. Pero hindi pa rin kita napapatawad. At first, we chatted as if we're on a business. Pero nung tumagal, I know you were pointing at one thing. You want to bring back the past. Sinabi ko na sayo na may girlfriend na ako. But you said na hindi ko siya mahal! Who do you think you are? And that ended our discussion dahil sinabi mo na mahal mo pa rin ako and that you are ready to bring back our past again. I walked out on you. Araw-araw mo kong binibisita sa opisina. You even asked me to explain why I chose another girl, but I think you forgot to give me a reasonable explanation on why you left. And that just pisses me of.
Now, I am planning to propose to my girlfriend so I hope that that will clear everything between us. There can never be an us anymore. I love my girlfriend more than the way I loved you. Yes, you still have a place in my heart, but that is for the past. All I want is to spend my life with the person who wept with me during my low times and laugh with me during my happiest times.
Mac
2005
AMV-College of Accountancy
Pero ako, sa simula pa lang, I know I like you. I am drawn to you. Kaya lagi kitang inaasar para magpapansin ako sayo. Pero you always keep your cool.
Pero alam ko na naiinis ka. Sa sobrang inis nakita kitang umiiyak noon sa may salamin sa cr. Paglabas mo, ako yung nakasalubong mo pero di mo ko pinansin. Di ko napigilan na mainis sa sarili ko dahil nasasaktan kita. So I hugged you. To ease the pain. That moment, I know I'm in love with you.
From that day on, nag-iba ako. The way I present myself, the way I talk with others, naging mas subtle ako. Naging mas friendly. Para mapansin mo. Even in class, mas naging participative na ako. Ikaw ang inspiration ko. Madalas pa nga, tayong dalawa ang nakakakuha ng highest marks sa exams. At dahil doon, napansin mo ako.
Nilapitan mo ako minsan, sabi mo sa akin, "Good Job, Mac."
Right there and then, kinilig ako. I dont know that man canalso get that tingling feeling pero, yun kasi yung naramdaman ko e. And then sabi ko sayo, can we be friends?
At dun tayo nagsimula. We started as friends. And after two years, I courted you. Muntik pa nga akong maunahan ng iba. Buti na lang mahal mo rin ako. We technically share everything. Madalas pa na natutulog ka sa pad ko na magkatabi tayo. Wala namang nangyari sa atin, but I'm contented just to hold you and feel you near me. There are even times na nag-usap tayo about our past and about our fears. Ang sabi ko sayo, takot akong mawala ka. Ikaw, ang sabi mo, takot kang iwan kita para sa iba. I answered back, sabi ko, "Hinding hindi kita iiwan at ipagpapalit. I may look at other women, pero hindi yun katulad ng pagtibgin ko sayo." And those were my exact words. Iam a man of my words. Tinotoo ko yung mga sinabi ko sayo. Umabot tayo ng fifth year sa college na magkasama. Imagine, two years have passed ng di natin masyadong namamalayan. But suddenly, bigla kang nawala. After ng anniversary natin, saka ka umalis. Hindi mo hinintay ang graduation. You didn't even text me or call me to let me know na aalis ka. Bigla ka na lang umalis ng bansa para mag-aral. I went to your house to ask your parents why. Hindi rin daw nila alam. Naawa pa sa akin ang parents mo. Tinulungan din nila akong contactin ka, pero kahit sila ayaw mong sagutin. I don't know what happened to you. To us. You left me hanging. I was devastated. Though, I graduated, I don't feel successful at all. Nakikibalita pa rin ako kina tito at tita about you and your whereabouts para sana puntahan kita sa America after grad, pero ang sabi nila, ayaw mo daw ipasabi. You know I can hate you for that. Pero hindi ko kaya. I loved you so much, it hurts me to hate you.
My parents are very worried about me dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko that time. Yeah. I was wasted. Pero sabi ng mama mo, I should get on with my life. And maybe there could still be an us, kapag bumalik ka na. That is what I'm holding on to.
But during the process of moving on, I met someone. At first, I know, Im cold and distant to her. I even shouted at her for trying so hard to be my friend. Classmate ko siya sa review center. And she asked me why I was always gloomy and sad. At doon ko siya naging kaibigan. She helped me move on and get through the pain that I got from your sudden goodbye. Wait you didn't even say your goodbyes.
Yes. She had me at my worst. And I thank God for giving her to me.
But then, you came back. Sinabi sa akin ng parents mo na bumalik ka na from America. I wasn't so thrilled about seeing you again.I already have a girlfriend. After four years na nawala ka, I'm already an established CPA by day and a student of law by night. While my girlfriend is working as a CPA in one of the biggest audit firms in the country.
I wasn't planning to see you again. Pero nagulat ako ng bigla ka na lang sumulpot sa office ko isang umaga. You even had an appointment. Out of courtesy na lang kaya ako ang humarap sa yo at hindi ang secretary ko. Pero hindi pa rin kita napapatawad. At first, we chatted as if we're on a business. Pero nung tumagal, I know you were pointing at one thing. You want to bring back the past. Sinabi ko na sayo na may girlfriend na ako. But you said na hindi ko siya mahal! Who do you think you are? And that ended our discussion dahil sinabi mo na mahal mo pa rin ako and that you are ready to bring back our past again. I walked out on you. Araw-araw mo kong binibisita sa opisina. You even asked me to explain why I chose another girl, but I think you forgot to give me a reasonable explanation on why you left. And that just pisses me of.
Now, I am planning to propose to my girlfriend so I hope that that will clear everything between us. There can never be an us anymore. I love my girlfriend more than the way I loved you. Yes, you still have a place in my heart, but that is for the past. All I want is to spend my life with the person who wept with me during my low times and laugh with me during my happiest times.
Mac
2005
AMV-College of Accountancy
Lesbihonest
December 23, 2014
More than three years ago, I decided to study in UST. The reason might be petty to some but it was only because it was the school my girlfriend got in to. Things were going real good during the summer of 2012. We enrolled together, bought our uniforms and what not. Then classes started. First few weeks were good we have these dates, movie nights, sleepovers. Then gradually things started to change. She started bailing on me. We would even meet just once a month and all we do was eat and talk about school. Then a day in December she texted me "Uy free ka today? I have to tell you something, can I go to your house?" And of course being the obedient partner I dropped my plans for that day hoping we could patch things up. I went home and waited for her then she texted me to go outside - and I did. What I saw in front of me shattered my heart. You were standing there intimately holding hands with your blockmate. All I can think of that time was "What are you trying to do?" Then you spoke. Sabi mo boyfriend mo na siya, kayo mga ilang weeks na. I literally just broke down I don't even have the courage to mutter a single word. I went back inside and cried my heart's content for days.
I haven't spoke to you since that day until a 2 months later. You went to my house crying. You said he cheated on you. And there I was comforting you like nothing happened. We spent a night like we used to. I felt alive again. But when morning came you said you couldn't stay and left me puzzled again. And that's when everthing started. All I could do was to drink, drink, drink, and drink. It felt like the only thing to numb me was alcohol. This went on for a few weeks and only stopped when I had alcohol poisoning. Then it has begun - the resume of classes in 2013. By that time I was already hard as a rock but when I saw you again (since we are on the same campus) everything came back. So I started drinking again. My routine was to drink after class then it went to cutting then finally to not going to school at all anymore. All I do was drink everyday from morning to evening. And the sad part is she has no idea what I'm going through. And as the semester ended, my vices took its toll on me. My grades were all Withdrew without Permission or Failure due to Absence AKA a sem average of 5.0. And guess what, that disqualifies me for a readmission the next sem. So I got debarred. And still even after that I still keep on drinking because of you.
2014 came. I met this person. He was amazing. He made me feel I was greater than my battles. He showed me life is worth living. He gave me new hope. Everything was perfect between me and him. People saw the old me was back. I was happy. But you know some things just don't work out after a few months but he and me ended on a great note and we are still great friends. But I still can't forget about her. The one who shattered me. It has been half a year since you left me that morning. I decided to come see you and talk thinks through and have the closure I deserve. And we did. You said that it was hard handling the judgment of people when they hear you were in a same sex relationship. You were tired of people giving you remarks. You felt like you needed a man which clearly I am not. You said letting me go was the hardest decision you made. You said if I were a guy, you would chose me. But life is unfair to both of us. We couldn't get everything we wanted. After that I went home with a heavy heart. I didn't talk back but I wanted to say to her that I am sorry for causing you the trouble of having people judge and make remarks toward you. I'm sorry our love wasn't enough to conquer it all. I'm sorry I wasn't born with a "Y" chromosome. I truly am. I love you, always will and I hope you do, too. Even if it's in a different way.
And okay let's go back to the present. December of 2014. A few months after that talk. You asked me if I was free and I said I was. We met in in our fav coffee place. We conversed like before. We are both happy now. You with him and me - with a new guy I've been dating for a few weeks now. You said that hopefully I found someone worth loving. You wished that he makes me happy the way I made you happy. And I think he really is the one who'd complete me. The one I'm matched with. My partner in crime.
❤
With this story, I really meant to say that you should be thankful to your first heartbreak. They may cause you pain that time but later you'll find it was worth it because you wouldn't find that "perfect" one.
If anyone was wondering my ex girlfriend and I were together all our high school years. She is my best friend and still is.
smile emoticon
Also, though I stopped my schooling because of that I am glad to say I am coming back!! Will enroll in CSB soon. Oh plus the guy I am dating, he is amazing. Accepted me even if I was tibo. Even if I was a dropout. Even if I had vices. Thank you so much.
smile emoticon
Let's stay at the pace we are at, okay?
Ellen DeGeneres
College of Commerce and Business Administration
More than three years ago, I decided to study in UST. The reason might be petty to some but it was only because it was the school my girlfriend got in to. Things were going real good during the summer of 2012. We enrolled together, bought our uniforms and what not. Then classes started. First few weeks were good we have these dates, movie nights, sleepovers. Then gradually things started to change. She started bailing on me. We would even meet just once a month and all we do was eat and talk about school. Then a day in December she texted me "Uy free ka today? I have to tell you something, can I go to your house?" And of course being the obedient partner I dropped my plans for that day hoping we could patch things up. I went home and waited for her then she texted me to go outside - and I did. What I saw in front of me shattered my heart. You were standing there intimately holding hands with your blockmate. All I can think of that time was "What are you trying to do?" Then you spoke. Sabi mo boyfriend mo na siya, kayo mga ilang weeks na. I literally just broke down I don't even have the courage to mutter a single word. I went back inside and cried my heart's content for days.
I haven't spoke to you since that day until a 2 months later. You went to my house crying. You said he cheated on you. And there I was comforting you like nothing happened. We spent a night like we used to. I felt alive again. But when morning came you said you couldn't stay and left me puzzled again. And that's when everthing started. All I could do was to drink, drink, drink, and drink. It felt like the only thing to numb me was alcohol. This went on for a few weeks and only stopped when I had alcohol poisoning. Then it has begun - the resume of classes in 2013. By that time I was already hard as a rock but when I saw you again (since we are on the same campus) everything came back. So I started drinking again. My routine was to drink after class then it went to cutting then finally to not going to school at all anymore. All I do was drink everyday from morning to evening. And the sad part is she has no idea what I'm going through. And as the semester ended, my vices took its toll on me. My grades were all Withdrew without Permission or Failure due to Absence AKA a sem average of 5.0. And guess what, that disqualifies me for a readmission the next sem. So I got debarred. And still even after that I still keep on drinking because of you.
2014 came. I met this person. He was amazing. He made me feel I was greater than my battles. He showed me life is worth living. He gave me new hope. Everything was perfect between me and him. People saw the old me was back. I was happy. But you know some things just don't work out after a few months but he and me ended on a great note and we are still great friends. But I still can't forget about her. The one who shattered me. It has been half a year since you left me that morning. I decided to come see you and talk thinks through and have the closure I deserve. And we did. You said that it was hard handling the judgment of people when they hear you were in a same sex relationship. You were tired of people giving you remarks. You felt like you needed a man which clearly I am not. You said letting me go was the hardest decision you made. You said if I were a guy, you would chose me. But life is unfair to both of us. We couldn't get everything we wanted. After that I went home with a heavy heart. I didn't talk back but I wanted to say to her that I am sorry for causing you the trouble of having people judge and make remarks toward you. I'm sorry our love wasn't enough to conquer it all. I'm sorry I wasn't born with a "Y" chromosome. I truly am. I love you, always will and I hope you do, too. Even if it's in a different way.
And okay let's go back to the present. December of 2014. A few months after that talk. You asked me if I was free and I said I was. We met in in our fav coffee place. We conversed like before. We are both happy now. You with him and me - with a new guy I've been dating for a few weeks now. You said that hopefully I found someone worth loving. You wished that he makes me happy the way I made you happy. And I think he really is the one who'd complete me. The one I'm matched with. My partner in crime.
❤
With this story, I really meant to say that you should be thankful to your first heartbreak. They may cause you pain that time but later you'll find it was worth it because you wouldn't find that "perfect" one.
If anyone was wondering my ex girlfriend and I were together all our high school years. She is my best friend and still is.
smile emoticon
Also, though I stopped my schooling because of that I am glad to say I am coming back!! Will enroll in CSB soon. Oh plus the guy I am dating, he is amazing. Accepted me even if I was tibo. Even if I was a dropout. Even if I had vices. Thank you so much.
smile emoticon
Let's stay at the pace we are at, okay?
Ellen DeGeneres
College of Commerce and Business Administration
Don't Give Up On Us, Baby
So I've been with this guy for four years now. Maraming nagsasabi na he's too good to be true. Halos perfect na nga e. DL, President ng isang org, Becarios Scholar, Class Valedictorian, hindi nagsmoke or drink alcolic beverages, hindi nagmumura, he doesn't even watch porn and believe it or not may book na siya para sa major subject nya next sem and nagaadvance reading na siya ngayon ng lessons niya to think na sembreak na. Also, we never did "it.". He respects me that much na never naging issue yun and he never asked for it. Motto ata namin yung line sa kanta ni Beyonce e, "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it." Yes, sabihin nyo ng para syang 31st of February kasi walang ganun. Pero hindi e, he does exist.
So here's the catch. We had these major misunderstandings these past few weeks. As expected ako yung reason for all of that. I have this tendency to hurt this guy pero wala siyang ginawa kundi ibigay sa akin lahat. We we're already in the point na parang tatanggapin niya na na ayoko na talaga. Na di na to magwowork for us. Nasabi ko na lahat ng masasakit na salita sa kanya. I even told him na kayang kaya ko siyang palitan kasi maraming nagkakagusto sa akin.
Buti nalang at nagbasa ako dito. Nabasa ko yung post na "The One Who Wants To Go Away" at binasa ko din yung comments. Sobrang nalinawan ako. Sobrang naappreciate ko siya lalo at thank you sa mga nagcomment doon na binabasura lang yung pinapangarap nila. Nung nagkausap kami, binawi ko lahat ng masasakit na sinabi ko sa kanya. We said our Sorry's and I love you's and it really felt so good deep inside. At syempre sobrang makokonsensya ako pag di ko nakitang ipanganak sa Earth ang mga "little versions of us" kasi kahit wala pa sila mahal na mahal na namin sila.
To the guy who love me unconditionally, I love you so much. I'm so sorry for hurting you. You know how much I love you. Tinanong mo ko kung kakayanin kaya nating mawala sa isa't isa, well the answer is NO. I won't ever think of giving up on us again. And please don't stop understanding me whenever I have my moments.
At kay Ate na nagpost ng "The One Who Wants To Go Away," isa lang masasabi ko sa'yo. Wag po tayong maging tanga. Sobrang swerte natin to have guys like them. They're every girl's dream. Talk about the things you loved most about being together, sigurado ako magbabago ihip ng hangin.
smile emoticon
Love is in the air again
2011
Faculty of Pharmacy
So here's the catch. We had these major misunderstandings these past few weeks. As expected ako yung reason for all of that. I have this tendency to hurt this guy pero wala siyang ginawa kundi ibigay sa akin lahat. We we're already in the point na parang tatanggapin niya na na ayoko na talaga. Na di na to magwowork for us. Nasabi ko na lahat ng masasakit na salita sa kanya. I even told him na kayang kaya ko siyang palitan kasi maraming nagkakagusto sa akin.
Buti nalang at nagbasa ako dito. Nabasa ko yung post na "The One Who Wants To Go Away" at binasa ko din yung comments. Sobrang nalinawan ako. Sobrang naappreciate ko siya lalo at thank you sa mga nagcomment doon na binabasura lang yung pinapangarap nila. Nung nagkausap kami, binawi ko lahat ng masasakit na sinabi ko sa kanya. We said our Sorry's and I love you's and it really felt so good deep inside. At syempre sobrang makokonsensya ako pag di ko nakitang ipanganak sa Earth ang mga "little versions of us" kasi kahit wala pa sila mahal na mahal na namin sila.
To the guy who love me unconditionally, I love you so much. I'm so sorry for hurting you. You know how much I love you. Tinanong mo ko kung kakayanin kaya nating mawala sa isa't isa, well the answer is NO. I won't ever think of giving up on us again. And please don't stop understanding me whenever I have my moments.
At kay Ate na nagpost ng "The One Who Wants To Go Away," isa lang masasabi ko sa'yo. Wag po tayong maging tanga. Sobrang swerte natin to have guys like them. They're every girl's dream. Talk about the things you loved most about being together, sigurado ako magbabago ihip ng hangin.
smile emoticon
Love is in the air again
2011
Faculty of Pharmacy
Yellow Rose Once Loved By Mr. Engg
Isa kong blogger. Halos lahat ng nangyayari sakin, pinopost ko sa blog ko. Wala ni isa sa mga kakilala ko ang nakakaalam ng blog ko na yun kaya dun ko nilalabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko.
Meron akong manliligaw. 2 years na. Pero unfortunately, friend lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. Ayoko naman na paasahin siya nun pero parang ganun yung nagawa ko. Pinagbigyan ko siya. Madalas kaming lumalabas. Nanonood ng sine, food trip, atbp. After ilang months, ang nangyari, kinain ko yung sinabi kong kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. Bigla akong nafall kasi super bait niya. Narealize ko na di pala natin masasabi ang dapat nating maramdaman para sa isang tao.
Patuloy pa rin siya sa panliligaw noon. Di ko alam kung dapat ko na ba siyang sagutin. Ang ginawa ko, humingi ako ng sign and nilagay ko sa blog ko yun. Sabi ko, sa loob ng isang buwan kung magbibigay siya ng yellow rose sakin, sasagutin ko na siya. (Alam niya kasi na yellow ang favorite color ko at medyo rare yun). Nagbakasakali lang ako sa sign na yun. Super destined kumbaga kung mangyari man.
After a week, nakita ko sa labas ng room namin, may isang yellow rose. Di ko alam kung bakit. Kung paano. Pero nagulat talaga ako kasi MERON. At may kasamang ferrero at note, “Will you be my girlfriend?” Di ko siya mahanap noon kaya tinext ko siya “YES”. Tinago ko yung yellow rose at inipit sa favorite book ko.
Ilang months kami naging masaya sa relationship namin hanggang sa pareho na kaming nagcollege at nakapasok sa UST.
Dahil sa ilang reasons, napadalas pagaaway namin. Hanggang sa nakipagbreak siya a day before paskuhan. Nagkita kami nung mismong paskuhan para iclarify yung reason ng pakikipagbreak niya. Nasa mcdo P. Noval kami nun at tinanong ko na siya kung bakit. Ang sabi lang niya “Akala ko kasi ikaw na eh.” Anim na salita lang yun pero ang sakit pa rin.
10:30 palang, umuwi na ko nun. Nahiga ako sa kama ko. Kinuha ko yung book and balak ko itapon yung yellow rose na nagpapaalala sa kanya.
Nakita ko page kung saan nakaipit yung yellow rose na may kumalat na yellow ink/paint at yung rose naging white na. Di naman pala talaga yellow.
PILIT NA DESTINY.
Ms. Yellow Rose once loved Mr. Engg
2014
Faculty of Pharmacy
Meron akong manliligaw. 2 years na. Pero unfortunately, friend lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. Ayoko naman na paasahin siya nun pero parang ganun yung nagawa ko. Pinagbigyan ko siya. Madalas kaming lumalabas. Nanonood ng sine, food trip, atbp. After ilang months, ang nangyari, kinain ko yung sinabi kong kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. Bigla akong nafall kasi super bait niya. Narealize ko na di pala natin masasabi ang dapat nating maramdaman para sa isang tao.
Patuloy pa rin siya sa panliligaw noon. Di ko alam kung dapat ko na ba siyang sagutin. Ang ginawa ko, humingi ako ng sign and nilagay ko sa blog ko yun. Sabi ko, sa loob ng isang buwan kung magbibigay siya ng yellow rose sakin, sasagutin ko na siya. (Alam niya kasi na yellow ang favorite color ko at medyo rare yun). Nagbakasakali lang ako sa sign na yun. Super destined kumbaga kung mangyari man.
After a week, nakita ko sa labas ng room namin, may isang yellow rose. Di ko alam kung bakit. Kung paano. Pero nagulat talaga ako kasi MERON. At may kasamang ferrero at note, “Will you be my girlfriend?” Di ko siya mahanap noon kaya tinext ko siya “YES”. Tinago ko yung yellow rose at inipit sa favorite book ko.
Ilang months kami naging masaya sa relationship namin hanggang sa pareho na kaming nagcollege at nakapasok sa UST.
Dahil sa ilang reasons, napadalas pagaaway namin. Hanggang sa nakipagbreak siya a day before paskuhan. Nagkita kami nung mismong paskuhan para iclarify yung reason ng pakikipagbreak niya. Nasa mcdo P. Noval kami nun at tinanong ko na siya kung bakit. Ang sabi lang niya “Akala ko kasi ikaw na eh.” Anim na salita lang yun pero ang sakit pa rin.
10:30 palang, umuwi na ko nun. Nahiga ako sa kama ko. Kinuha ko yung book and balak ko itapon yung yellow rose na nagpapaalala sa kanya.
Nakita ko page kung saan nakaipit yung yellow rose na may kumalat na yellow ink/paint at yung rose naging white na. Di naman pala talaga yellow.
PILIT NA DESTINY.
Ms. Yellow Rose once loved Mr. Engg
2014
Faculty of Pharmacy
Where I Belong
We grow up together.. Like mula nung nagkaisip ako kasama ko na siya.. 4 years old tho
smile emoticon
magkatabi lang bahay namin at magkaibigan parents namin. Siya lagi kong kalaro, pareho kami ng school hanggang college, although I'm in higher level than her, lagi kaming magkasama pagkatapos ng klase.
Sa kanya ko lang gustong makipaglaro. Yung tipong ayoko ng ibang kalaro, gusto ko siya lang.. Kahit lutu-lutuan pa yan o barbie-barbie, nakikipaglaro pa rin ako sa kanya.
Dun ako lumaki sa province. elementary ako, lagi akong nasa bahay nila pagkatapos ng klase.. Sabay kaming gumagawa ng homeworks tapos maglalaro na pagkatapos. Hanggang highschool lagi kaming sabay pumasok at umuwi, madalas sasama pa ako sa bonding nila kahit puro sila mga babae para lang makasama siya.. And yes, we're childhood friends, best friends, buddies.. And yet I have feelings for her, I like her.
College, I have to move here in Manila to study. Kaya naiwan ko siya sa province namin.. Nasanay kami pareho na kami lang dalawang magkasama tapos darating pala yung araw na gigising nalang kami pareho na sa text nalang ang "good morning" at hindi na sa personal. Pero pag graduate na ng highschool, dito rin siya nagcollege sa UST. kaso nga lang.. 1 year lang di kasi niya kayang malayo sa magulang niya.
Every vacation umuuwi ako ng province, dun lang kami nagkakapanahon para makapagbonding ng matagal. Yung nagagawa namin yung dati naming nagagawa tulad ng movie night, strolling, etc. Every visit ko dun lagi akong nagpaparamdam sa kanya, ligaw in my own way.. Kasi nga, mahal ko na siya kahit hindi ko siya makikita araw-araw.
Then here, nag graduate na ako ng college this year lang so I went back to my province. Summer nun, eh SSC officer siya sa school nila so kahit summer may ginagawa sila sa school.. Tapos ako laging bumibisita, may dalang pagkain, mga ganun, tapos tutulungan siya sa ginagawa niya, hahatid siya. Mga galawang ganun.
Then there's this night, kami lang dalawa sa labas ng bahay namin mga 2am na yun, wala ng dumadaan na tao at sasakyan, dun ko siya tinanong kasi nga parang wala lang sa kanya mga ginagawa ko, I asked her "kailan mo ba ako sasagutin?", tapos sagot niya sakin...
"huh? Nanliligaw ka ba?" pabiro pang sinabi.
So sabi ko "pinagluluto kita ng breakfast hinahatid ko sa bahay niyo, hinahatid at sundo kita sa school mo, binibilhan kita ng snacks at lunch mo pag nasa school ka, di kita iniiwan dun, tinutulungan kita sa school reqs mo, ano bang gusto mong ligaw? ". Sabi niya exactly like this "ligaw mo pala yun? *laughs* oo na! *smiles*" then inamin niya na may gusto rin daw siya sakin lately, na kinikilig siya.. Ganun.
Then naging kami ngayon kakacelebrate lang namin ng 6th monthsary nung december 20 kahit sobrang sabaw yung ligawan stage, araw-araw ko naman siya nililigawan ngayong kami na. Every monthsary namin lagi kaming may surprise sa isa't isa, and thank God and in His will, mula nung naging kami, hindi pa kami nag away o nagkasagutan, laging pasweet tampo lang I just can't imagine na yung kalaro ko mula 4 years old ako, crush ko nung grade 1 ako, at best friend ko ay magiging FIRST GIRLFRIEND ko pala
Her name is Caine.. Graduating student ng Political Science
smile emoticon
my future lawyer.. My first girlfriend, and hopefully my last
♥
JP
BSIT-2014
Faculty of Engineering
smile emoticon
magkatabi lang bahay namin at magkaibigan parents namin. Siya lagi kong kalaro, pareho kami ng school hanggang college, although I'm in higher level than her, lagi kaming magkasama pagkatapos ng klase.
Sa kanya ko lang gustong makipaglaro. Yung tipong ayoko ng ibang kalaro, gusto ko siya lang.. Kahit lutu-lutuan pa yan o barbie-barbie, nakikipaglaro pa rin ako sa kanya.
Dun ako lumaki sa province. elementary ako, lagi akong nasa bahay nila pagkatapos ng klase.. Sabay kaming gumagawa ng homeworks tapos maglalaro na pagkatapos. Hanggang highschool lagi kaming sabay pumasok at umuwi, madalas sasama pa ako sa bonding nila kahit puro sila mga babae para lang makasama siya.. And yes, we're childhood friends, best friends, buddies.. And yet I have feelings for her, I like her.
College, I have to move here in Manila to study. Kaya naiwan ko siya sa province namin.. Nasanay kami pareho na kami lang dalawang magkasama tapos darating pala yung araw na gigising nalang kami pareho na sa text nalang ang "good morning" at hindi na sa personal. Pero pag graduate na ng highschool, dito rin siya nagcollege sa UST. kaso nga lang.. 1 year lang di kasi niya kayang malayo sa magulang niya.
Every vacation umuuwi ako ng province, dun lang kami nagkakapanahon para makapagbonding ng matagal. Yung nagagawa namin yung dati naming nagagawa tulad ng movie night, strolling, etc. Every visit ko dun lagi akong nagpaparamdam sa kanya, ligaw in my own way.. Kasi nga, mahal ko na siya kahit hindi ko siya makikita araw-araw.
Then here, nag graduate na ako ng college this year lang so I went back to my province. Summer nun, eh SSC officer siya sa school nila so kahit summer may ginagawa sila sa school.. Tapos ako laging bumibisita, may dalang pagkain, mga ganun, tapos tutulungan siya sa ginagawa niya, hahatid siya. Mga galawang ganun.
Then there's this night, kami lang dalawa sa labas ng bahay namin mga 2am na yun, wala ng dumadaan na tao at sasakyan, dun ko siya tinanong kasi nga parang wala lang sa kanya mga ginagawa ko, I asked her "kailan mo ba ako sasagutin?", tapos sagot niya sakin...
"huh? Nanliligaw ka ba?" pabiro pang sinabi.
So sabi ko "pinagluluto kita ng breakfast hinahatid ko sa bahay niyo, hinahatid at sundo kita sa school mo, binibilhan kita ng snacks at lunch mo pag nasa school ka, di kita iniiwan dun, tinutulungan kita sa school reqs mo, ano bang gusto mong ligaw? ". Sabi niya exactly like this "ligaw mo pala yun? *laughs* oo na! *smiles*" then inamin niya na may gusto rin daw siya sakin lately, na kinikilig siya.. Ganun.
Then naging kami ngayon kakacelebrate lang namin ng 6th monthsary nung december 20 kahit sobrang sabaw yung ligawan stage, araw-araw ko naman siya nililigawan ngayong kami na. Every monthsary namin lagi kaming may surprise sa isa't isa, and thank God and in His will, mula nung naging kami, hindi pa kami nag away o nagkasagutan, laging pasweet tampo lang I just can't imagine na yung kalaro ko mula 4 years old ako, crush ko nung grade 1 ako, at best friend ko ay magiging FIRST GIRLFRIEND ko pala
Her name is Caine.. Graduating student ng Political Science
smile emoticon
my future lawyer.. My first girlfriend, and hopefully my last
♥
JP
BSIT-2014
Faculty of Engineering
Not the Guy You Think
Itong post na to ay hindi tungkol sa sparks . Kaya kung yun ang hanap niyo, sorry ngunit hindi ito iyon. Meron akong kilalang isang babae na nakausap ko isang beses. Meron siyang boyfriend and mahal na mahal niya ito. Pero, alam niyang hindi siya mahal nung guy at ginagamit gamit lamang siya. Alam din niyang darating ang panahon na iiwan din siya nito kapag hindi na siya mapapakinabangan. Nakakalungkot lang talaga isipin na dahil sa mga ganitong klaseng lalaki ay nababalot sa isipan ng mga babae na lahat ng lalaki ay manloloko at iiwanan din sila balang araw. Oo tama kayo walang forever. Dahil lahat ng tao namamatay. Pero para sakin merong "till death do us part". Sa totoo marami namang relasyon ang nagtatagal hanggang kamatayan e. Masyado lang tayong natutuwa sa mga storya nang mga heartbroken dahil maraming pabida at gusto maki-emote o nakakarelate. Bakit kaunti lang nagpopost nang successful love stories dito? Ang sagot diyan ay dahil natuto na ang mga couples na yan na wag na ipagkalat o ikwento ang talambuhay nila sa mga tao dahil kapag mas marami ang nakaalam. Mas marami ang mangegealam at dito nabubuo ang mga ahas sa relasyon. Gusto ko lang i- grab tong opportunity na ito na magsabi nang aking gustong sabihin sa mga lalaking sana ay katulad naming maayos at may dangal. Hoy kayong mga gagong lalaki, ayus-ayusin niyo buhay niyo. Isipin niyo , ang tissue diba kapag siningaan na natin hindi na ito magagamit nang iba at hindi pinagpapasa pasahan? Parang sa babae, kung sino ang minahal natin dapat iyon na. Oo, we can't promise a perfect relationship with one girl. Pero kapag pinagsabay mo ang dalawa o ginagamit mo ang babae? Napakawalang hiya mo naman po para gawin iyon.
Ang mga babae dapat hindi nating pagsawaan na ligawan yan araw araw. Dahil balang araw baka magsisi ka at ang tipong maririnig mo nalang ang mga salitang "oo", "Hindi", "Medyo", "Okay Lang", "okay", "Sige". Tayong mga lalaki ay dapat walang sawa na magpakita nang pagmamahalan natin sa ating sinisinta. Dahil yang minamahal mong babae ay walang katulad. Hinding hindi nya makakalimutan ang mga maliliit na bagay na tungkol sainyong dalawa, annivarsary, monthsary, weeksary ,hoursary , birthday mo , san kayo unang nagkita, san kayo unang nagyakapan , san kayo unang naghalikan at kailan mo siyang hinatid sa bahay nila. Nakakinis ba na madaldal sila? Nakakainis ba na walang tigil sa pagsasalita ang kanilang mga bibig? Okay lang yan, malay mo sa sunod hindi na siya ganyan. Iaasa nalang niya ang birthday mo sa facebook. Yan mga babaeng iyan maemosoyonal yan , madaldal pero higit sa lahat totoong mag mahal. Bakit ba sila maemosyonal at madaldal? Buti hindi tayo ganun diba? Kasi tayong mga lalaki, sanay tayong magkimkim nang ating nadarama. Nagpapakalalaki talaga tayo kahit na alam nang mga ibang tao na hindi natin kaya ay pinipilit padin natin na kaya natin.Women are the best gifts God has given to Men. Kaya sa mga lalaking napakaholy umasta. Sana alam niyo pano maging isang lalaking na gustong ibigay ni God sa mga babae. Isang araw tinanong ako nang mga kaibigan ko kung nasa relasyon ka ano gusto mo? Ikaw under o ikaw nagcocontrol sa relasyon niyo. Sa tingin ko ang tamang sagot dito ay dapat ang babae ang nagcocontrol sa ating relasyon. Women deserve all the advantages lalo na sa pagibig. Sana lahat ng babae ay maging masaya ang lovelife. Sana, walang babaeng heart-broken, kasi, tayong mga lalake, we're meant to pursue them and it's okay if we fail from time to time. It's the way nature intended it. Ang mga babae , nagkakaroon sila ng "dalaw" at nababaliw kada buwan, nabubuntis at nahihirapan ng 9 months. Kaya dapat meron tayong utang na loob mga lalaki dahil sila talaga ang tunay na naghihirap para maging masaya ang inyong mga relasyon. Sana maunawaan nang mga babaeng mambabasa nito na hindi lahat ng lalaki ay tulad ng nakakarami ngayon. Mas marami paring mga lalaking mapagmahal at totoo. Hindi lang sila sikat dahil hindi naman sila nakwekwento nang mga babae sa paligid. Dahil pano ba naman sila makwekwento eh ang madalas na nakwekwento ng mga babae ay " O nakipagbreak nanaman si guy kay ganyan." Tandaan niyo mga girls , kapag ang lalaki inabot nang ilan taon bago umamin sa inyong mga babae at hindi kayo agad-agad na nilalandi , ito yung mga tipong lalaking totoo at naghahanap nang tamang pagkakataon. Ngunit may sakit din kaming mga mabuting mga lalaki. Minsan sa tagal naming maghintay nang pagkakataon, nabibihag na puso niyo sa mga lalaking walang dangal.
Merry Christmas to all.
Chemist
2014
Faculty of Engineering
Ang mga babae dapat hindi nating pagsawaan na ligawan yan araw araw. Dahil balang araw baka magsisi ka at ang tipong maririnig mo nalang ang mga salitang "oo", "Hindi", "Medyo", "Okay Lang", "okay", "Sige". Tayong mga lalaki ay dapat walang sawa na magpakita nang pagmamahalan natin sa ating sinisinta. Dahil yang minamahal mong babae ay walang katulad. Hinding hindi nya makakalimutan ang mga maliliit na bagay na tungkol sainyong dalawa, annivarsary, monthsary, weeksary ,hoursary , birthday mo , san kayo unang nagkita, san kayo unang nagyakapan , san kayo unang naghalikan at kailan mo siyang hinatid sa bahay nila. Nakakinis ba na madaldal sila? Nakakainis ba na walang tigil sa pagsasalita ang kanilang mga bibig? Okay lang yan, malay mo sa sunod hindi na siya ganyan. Iaasa nalang niya ang birthday mo sa facebook. Yan mga babaeng iyan maemosoyonal yan , madaldal pero higit sa lahat totoong mag mahal. Bakit ba sila maemosyonal at madaldal? Buti hindi tayo ganun diba? Kasi tayong mga lalaki, sanay tayong magkimkim nang ating nadarama. Nagpapakalalaki talaga tayo kahit na alam nang mga ibang tao na hindi natin kaya ay pinipilit padin natin na kaya natin.Women are the best gifts God has given to Men. Kaya sa mga lalaking napakaholy umasta. Sana alam niyo pano maging isang lalaking na gustong ibigay ni God sa mga babae. Isang araw tinanong ako nang mga kaibigan ko kung nasa relasyon ka ano gusto mo? Ikaw under o ikaw nagcocontrol sa relasyon niyo. Sa tingin ko ang tamang sagot dito ay dapat ang babae ang nagcocontrol sa ating relasyon. Women deserve all the advantages lalo na sa pagibig. Sana lahat ng babae ay maging masaya ang lovelife. Sana, walang babaeng heart-broken, kasi, tayong mga lalake, we're meant to pursue them and it's okay if we fail from time to time. It's the way nature intended it. Ang mga babae , nagkakaroon sila ng "dalaw" at nababaliw kada buwan, nabubuntis at nahihirapan ng 9 months. Kaya dapat meron tayong utang na loob mga lalaki dahil sila talaga ang tunay na naghihirap para maging masaya ang inyong mga relasyon. Sana maunawaan nang mga babaeng mambabasa nito na hindi lahat ng lalaki ay tulad ng nakakarami ngayon. Mas marami paring mga lalaking mapagmahal at totoo. Hindi lang sila sikat dahil hindi naman sila nakwekwento nang mga babae sa paligid. Dahil pano ba naman sila makwekwento eh ang madalas na nakwekwento ng mga babae ay " O nakipagbreak nanaman si guy kay ganyan." Tandaan niyo mga girls , kapag ang lalaki inabot nang ilan taon bago umamin sa inyong mga babae at hindi kayo agad-agad na nilalandi , ito yung mga tipong lalaking totoo at naghahanap nang tamang pagkakataon. Ngunit may sakit din kaming mga mabuting mga lalaki. Minsan sa tagal naming maghintay nang pagkakataon, nabibihag na puso niyo sa mga lalaking walang dangal.
Merry Christmas to all.
Chemist
2014
Faculty of Engineering
WHY WE BROKE UP
Nagkakilala tayo dahil sa mga common friends natin. Konting chat and text, nagkaroon ng "fling". Hanggang naovercome natin yung pagka mahiyain natin sa isa't isa, mas lalo tayong nagkalapit. Napadalas yung pagkikita at mga gala natin. And nagka aminan tayo.
Parang "tayo". Parang.
Sobrang saya. Sobrang perfect. Lahat na yata ng hahanapin sa isang guy, na sayo na. Hangang hanga ako sa kabaitan mo. At syempre, heto ako takang taka kung bakit mo ko nagustuhan.
Then, nag college tayo. Nabawasan ng time para sa isa't isa. Ang daming nagbago sakin. Hindi lang "time" yung nabawasan, pati yung "fling". Sorry.
Some, including you, will probably think na ang sama-sama ko. Yung mga panahon kasing hindi kita na kasama, marami akong narealize.
"Tayo ba talaga? Kailan mo ba ko liligawan? Yung formal? Hanggang kailan ko ba kailangang maghintay sayo? Teka, bakit ba ko yung naghihintay? Hindi ba parang baliktad? Bakit ba ang duwag mo? Takot ka ba talagang mag take ng risk? Naiinis ba ko sayo? O naiinis ako sa sarili ko? Kasi minamadali kita? "
Pero hinintay pa rin kita. Araw-araw nag eexpect ako na darating ka para isurprise ako. Lagi akong umaasa na nasa gate ka ng ust, naghihintay sakin. Pero wala ka. Hanggang nasanay na ko ng wala ka. Napagod na ko maghintay sayo.
One day, sinundo mo ko sa dorm. That was the first time na nagkita tayo after 3-4 weeks. Yun din yung first time na nakaramdam ako na may mali. Yung first time na hindi ako excited na makita at makasama ka. Sorry.
Sobrang naguguluhan ako sa nararamdaman ko. Hanggang ako na rin yung sumagot sa mga tanong ko:
"SOBRANG BATA PA NATIN PARA MAGKAROON NG MGA GANTONG PROBLEMA. ARAL NA LANG. ITUON MUNA NATIN YUNG ORAS NATIN SA FAMILY AT KAY GOD."
And that, my dear, is why we broke up.
(KAHIT WALA TALAGANG "TAYO")
P.S. If we're meant to be, we will find our way back to each other. Maybe someday pwede na nating ituloy yung naudlot nating "forever". Hindi palang talaga tayo ready ngayon. Patience, my love. Patience.
DUMPER
20**
Faculty of Engineering
Parang "tayo". Parang.
Sobrang saya. Sobrang perfect. Lahat na yata ng hahanapin sa isang guy, na sayo na. Hangang hanga ako sa kabaitan mo. At syempre, heto ako takang taka kung bakit mo ko nagustuhan.
Then, nag college tayo. Nabawasan ng time para sa isa't isa. Ang daming nagbago sakin. Hindi lang "time" yung nabawasan, pati yung "fling". Sorry.
Some, including you, will probably think na ang sama-sama ko. Yung mga panahon kasing hindi kita na kasama, marami akong narealize.
"Tayo ba talaga? Kailan mo ba ko liligawan? Yung formal? Hanggang kailan ko ba kailangang maghintay sayo? Teka, bakit ba ko yung naghihintay? Hindi ba parang baliktad? Bakit ba ang duwag mo? Takot ka ba talagang mag take ng risk? Naiinis ba ko sayo? O naiinis ako sa sarili ko? Kasi minamadali kita? "
Pero hinintay pa rin kita. Araw-araw nag eexpect ako na darating ka para isurprise ako. Lagi akong umaasa na nasa gate ka ng ust, naghihintay sakin. Pero wala ka. Hanggang nasanay na ko ng wala ka. Napagod na ko maghintay sayo.
One day, sinundo mo ko sa dorm. That was the first time na nagkita tayo after 3-4 weeks. Yun din yung first time na nakaramdam ako na may mali. Yung first time na hindi ako excited na makita at makasama ka. Sorry.
Sobrang naguguluhan ako sa nararamdaman ko. Hanggang ako na rin yung sumagot sa mga tanong ko:
"SOBRANG BATA PA NATIN PARA MAGKAROON NG MGA GANTONG PROBLEMA. ARAL NA LANG. ITUON MUNA NATIN YUNG ORAS NATIN SA FAMILY AT KAY GOD."
And that, my dear, is why we broke up.
(KAHIT WALA TALAGANG "TAYO")
P.S. If we're meant to be, we will find our way back to each other. Maybe someday pwede na nating ituloy yung naudlot nating "forever". Hindi palang talaga tayo ready ngayon. Patience, my love. Patience.
DUMPER
20**
Faculty of Engineering
Consoled By Jessy Mendiola
Nung gabi ng USTV last year, pinalabas na lahat ng estudyante sa main building. Nandun kasi mag-aayos ang mga artista from ABS at GMA na magpeperform sa stage.
Nakakulong ako sa isang cubicle sa main building, umiiyak. May pagkamaingay yung iyak ko. Nahuli ako ng isang stage staff na nag-iinspect, pero pinabayaan na lang ako. Naawa yata. Nagsimula lahat ng pagdadrama ko ng brinought-up ng boyfriend ko ang concept ng polygamy earlier that day. Bigla na lang siyang nagsermon na kung ginawang morally-righteous ng society ang pambababae, wala na sanang mga annulment at broken families. Ta’s prangkahan ko siyang tinanong, “May ibang babae ka ba?” Napatahimik siya na parang may gustong aminin, saka sumagot, “Plano ko”.
Basang-basa na yung iPhone ko ng luha. “Ang vanilla ice cream” sabi ng isang mahinhing boses. “Ang solution sa lahat ng problema”. Alam kong ako ang pinatatamaan. Kaya binuksan ko ang pinto para pagsabihan yung nagparinig to mind her own business. Ng ang lumantad sakin ay si JESSY FUCKING MENDIOLA. Nastar-struck ako, pero masyado akong malungkot para hysterical at OA na magreact.
“Problema?” tanong ni Jessy habang nagpupulbos. “Lalaki ba yan?”
“Gagong lalaki” clinarify ko. “Pero bakit ganun? Kahit ganun siya..mahal ko pa rin” bumuhos na naman yung iyak ko.
Nilapitan niya ko then she gave me the most consoling words I have ever heard in my life. “Punyeta! Umayos ka! Ate, wag bobo! Kaya maraming gagong lalaki, kasi nagpapagago tayo. Mga prinsesa tayo, and we deserve to be. At kung di nila tayo tatratuhing prinsesa, dapat ipaalam natin sa kanila that we can end things with them with fierceness and boldness. Tangina wag mo ng iyakan yan!”
Naliwanagan naman ako sa sinabi niya. Nagkaron din daw kase siya ng mga ex na mga gago at di-seryoso. Nagulat daw ba ko na nagmumura siya. Sabi ko, medyo. Sinide-hug niya ko, ta’s umalis na siya. Thank you Ms. Jessy Mendiola. You should know I’m all better now. Oo nga, nagmumura ka just like everybody else, pero with sense. And P.S. nabasted yung ex ko ng four consecutive times. Naturn-off yata sila sa polygamy speech niya.
rcarbonell
2013
Faculty of Arts and Letters
Nakakulong ako sa isang cubicle sa main building, umiiyak. May pagkamaingay yung iyak ko. Nahuli ako ng isang stage staff na nag-iinspect, pero pinabayaan na lang ako. Naawa yata. Nagsimula lahat ng pagdadrama ko ng brinought-up ng boyfriend ko ang concept ng polygamy earlier that day. Bigla na lang siyang nagsermon na kung ginawang morally-righteous ng society ang pambababae, wala na sanang mga annulment at broken families. Ta’s prangkahan ko siyang tinanong, “May ibang babae ka ba?” Napatahimik siya na parang may gustong aminin, saka sumagot, “Plano ko”.
Basang-basa na yung iPhone ko ng luha. “Ang vanilla ice cream” sabi ng isang mahinhing boses. “Ang solution sa lahat ng problema”. Alam kong ako ang pinatatamaan. Kaya binuksan ko ang pinto para pagsabihan yung nagparinig to mind her own business. Ng ang lumantad sakin ay si JESSY FUCKING MENDIOLA. Nastar-struck ako, pero masyado akong malungkot para hysterical at OA na magreact.
“Problema?” tanong ni Jessy habang nagpupulbos. “Lalaki ba yan?”
“Gagong lalaki” clinarify ko. “Pero bakit ganun? Kahit ganun siya..mahal ko pa rin” bumuhos na naman yung iyak ko.
Nilapitan niya ko then she gave me the most consoling words I have ever heard in my life. “Punyeta! Umayos ka! Ate, wag bobo! Kaya maraming gagong lalaki, kasi nagpapagago tayo. Mga prinsesa tayo, and we deserve to be. At kung di nila tayo tatratuhing prinsesa, dapat ipaalam natin sa kanila that we can end things with them with fierceness and boldness. Tangina wag mo ng iyakan yan!”
Naliwanagan naman ako sa sinabi niya. Nagkaron din daw kase siya ng mga ex na mga gago at di-seryoso. Nagulat daw ba ko na nagmumura siya. Sabi ko, medyo. Sinide-hug niya ko, ta’s umalis na siya. Thank you Ms. Jessy Mendiola. You should know I’m all better now. Oo nga, nagmumura ka just like everybody else, pero with sense. And P.S. nabasted yung ex ko ng four consecutive times. Naturn-off yata sila sa polygamy speech niya.
rcarbonell
2013
Faculty of Arts and Letters
He's Getting Married
He’s getting married
Tonight I sit here on my bed, alone with a bottle of beer and a phone with tons of memories. I was rereading our previous conversations both in viber and on my messages, I’m struggling to find out what the hell went wrong. We were childhood best of friends. We live nearby each other. Our friends were friends. Apparently, our moms were best of friends too. We’re both 28. We’re both not expressing our commitment to each other. All I know is that, we both have each other because we feel like it. We’re always together. Our friends had grown tired of asking, “Kayo na ba?” everytime they see us holding hands, but we just smile and reply: “Not yet.” You fetch me on my Krav Maga classes. I tell you cranky stories about my day. I am telling you what happened to me at work, what my boss said, and you were laughing everytime – you were happy everytime, and the saddest thing is, I am too.
We had petty fights whenever you make stubborn decisions (which is — everytime) like selling your car for a smaller brand new one because you just feel like doing so. We fight because you were so stupid at times – but the saddest thing here is that, we were both happy. WE.WERE.BOTH.HAPPY.. and contented.
Not until you made this girl, a 17-year old girl! A mother of your first born. The sad thing is, you were so brave to tell me that you’ve become a father and a husband to a woman you barely knew and my goodness! She’s even younger than your youngest sister! I told you it’s okay not to marry her. I told you that your obligation is only to be a FATHER to the child. But you answered that it’s kind of selfish to do so.
I thought, you, getting married is the saddest news of all but apparently it’s not. The saddest thing is when I asked you, “Don’t you love me? Even a bit?” You answered:
“It’s too late.”
AteGirl
College of Nursing
200*
Tonight I sit here on my bed, alone with a bottle of beer and a phone with tons of memories. I was rereading our previous conversations both in viber and on my messages, I’m struggling to find out what the hell went wrong. We were childhood best of friends. We live nearby each other. Our friends were friends. Apparently, our moms were best of friends too. We’re both 28. We’re both not expressing our commitment to each other. All I know is that, we both have each other because we feel like it. We’re always together. Our friends had grown tired of asking, “Kayo na ba?” everytime they see us holding hands, but we just smile and reply: “Not yet.” You fetch me on my Krav Maga classes. I tell you cranky stories about my day. I am telling you what happened to me at work, what my boss said, and you were laughing everytime – you were happy everytime, and the saddest thing is, I am too.
We had petty fights whenever you make stubborn decisions (which is — everytime) like selling your car for a smaller brand new one because you just feel like doing so. We fight because you were so stupid at times – but the saddest thing here is that, we were both happy. WE.WERE.BOTH.HAPPY.. and contented.
Not until you made this girl, a 17-year old girl! A mother of your first born. The sad thing is, you were so brave to tell me that you’ve become a father and a husband to a woman you barely knew and my goodness! She’s even younger than your youngest sister! I told you it’s okay not to marry her. I told you that your obligation is only to be a FATHER to the child. But you answered that it’s kind of selfish to do so.
I thought, you, getting married is the saddest news of all but apparently it’s not. The saddest thing is when I asked you, “Don’t you love me? Even a bit?” You answered:
“It’s too late.”
AteGirl
College of Nursing
200*
Revenge
Kakaibang revenge to my cheating, lying ex-boyfriend.
Nagisip ako ng kakaibang super awesomesauce revenge sa ex-boyfriend kong t%$##%^ Nalaman ko kasing may third wheel, (at madami talaga siyang babae) Nainis pa ko kasi magkatabi pa kami ng building nung babae. Taga Eng'g siya. Nak nam pusa, natanga talaga ako ng bonggang bongga. Sabi pa nung babae nung tinanong ko siya, "I'm not in the position to say it to you pero if you want, you can ask him" NAK NAM PUSA YUN PALA ALAM NIYA NA THIRD WHEEL SIYA. Naiyak ako nun. I felt betrayed in the worst way. Nag effort ako eh, alam niyo un? Ang hirap kaya mag print screen at mag crop para may ebidensya ako na naging kami. Nahirapan pa kong ipag send send sakanya yun, fully aware naman pala yung kabit. Anak ng nanay, ang tanga ko. So here's what I did.
Bumalik sakin yung ex ko after their retreat. Sabi niya iniwan niya na daw ung Eng'g girl. (Asa naman, di ako naniniwala. Dyusko) So what I did was hinack ko yahoomail ng ex ko para mabuksan FB nya. Nag change password ako pero ni log in of devices ko kasi dun siya nagf-FB sa android niya. Nakita ko ung mga convo, pucha. ANG DAMI NIYANG BABAE GRABEEEE! Mga pinatulan siya, 'di siya pinatulan. Di ko na alam ung iba. TAPOS SILA PA NUNG ENG'G GIRLALOO nak nam pusa.
Ganito ung mga convo nila eh
ex: "Hi baby, skype "
girl 2: "Di na kita mahal. Di na din kita gusto okay."
ex: "Na miss ka alaga ko eh "
girl 2: "Wala ka alaga"
ex: "dali na papasa load"
SERYOSO. ANO BA NAMAN KLASENG LALAKI YAN.
eto pang isa, ung ka batch niya
ex: "Hi S*****"
girl 3: "Hi"
ex: "Patingin na ng pic "
girl 3: "Wat pic?"
ex: "pic ng ______"
YUCK. Sobrang dami paaaa, kadiri
Ang ginawa ko, pinagp-PRINT SCREEN ko lahaaaat lahat ng mga nilandi niya, girlfriend niya. Nag group chat ako sakanila gamit account nung ex ko. Sinend ko lahat ng mga print screen :)) Tapos 'di pa ko kuntento, gumawa ako ng photo album, title: "Mga Babae Ko. Proud of it." Tapos I posted the pictures, pinagtatag ko silang lahat. "Girl 1", "Girl 2", "Girl 3" (Syempre ako ung girl 1 hahahaha) and biglang chinat ni ex ung kabit niyang Eng'g girl "Babe, wait lang ah, may 'di ko ma open yung yahoomail ko saka FB ko sa PC" Tapos nagmamadali na ko nun "Hutahena, hutahenaaaa!!!!!" tapos upload complete, sent messages LIFE IS AWESOME.
After 2 minutes, na change password niya. Daaaamn I didn't get to see the reaction nung babaeng taga Eng'g. Na curious kasi ako eh. Pano kaya pag ganun, ano nalang sasabihin niya? "AY SHEMS! AKALA KO BA AKO LANG UNG KABIT? BAPUTA MADAMI PALA KAMING KABIT???" Nakakainis lang, nag effort pa talaga ako eh no. Sabi pa niya sa ex ko "Pwede bang pag nag DM sayo si *insert my name here* , gagaguhin ko, mahal? :))" OMG girl.
So di talaga ako nakuntento sa ginawa ko. Ang ginawa ko pa, nakita ko sa convo nila ung twitter account nung babae, saka ung password. Binigay nya sa ex ko. So I opened hers, nag change pw ako and posted the pictures there habang ka DM ung ex ko. Sabi niya "Mag move on ka nalang, bakit mo ba 'to ginagawa?" Sabi ko naman, "I did this to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, f***tard" And sabi naman nung babae "Leave me alooone! Bakit nyo ba 'ko dinadamay dito?"
me: "Di kita dinadamay, girl. Kasali ka talaga Naging kayo throughout our relationship and fully aware ka dun "
ex: "Galing mo mag edit ah. Ibalik mo na nga twitter nya!"
GREAAAT. EDITED DAW AMP. So I kept sending uncropped printscreen photos and binalik ko din kay girl ung twitter niya. Di pa ko nakuntento. I posted it on my blog for all the world to see. It has 100+ blogpost views already. I'll post it on the comments if ever ma post 'to, and if gusto nyo. Para pag sinearch nyo pangalan nung lalaki sa google, un makikita niyo. I explained myself rin sa blog ko. Why did I do what I did? Bakit ko grinoup chat yung mga babae niya at sinend lahat ng prinintscreen ko? Bakit ako gumawa ng album at pinagtatag lahat ng babae niya? Simple. I hate what he did. Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sakanya na I've had guys in my life pero none of them cheated. Siya pa talaga. Sobrang natanga ako pero I stood up from it. Sabi ko ayokong ayoko na may tutulad sa Daddy ko, Lolo ko, isang Lolo ko, Tito ko, yung isang Tito ko pa. AYOKO. I hate what they did. I guess, I'm not only standing up for myself this time. I'm standing up for all the girls who are victims of cheating. Mom, Lola, Lola 2, Tita 1, Tita 2. I am very satisfied, I am very sorry and lastly, I hope this will teach you a lesson you'll never forget, f***tard. See you around.
I hope not.
game changer
2010
College of Education
Nagisip ako ng kakaibang super awesomesauce revenge sa ex-boyfriend kong t%$##%^ Nalaman ko kasing may third wheel, (at madami talaga siyang babae) Nainis pa ko kasi magkatabi pa kami ng building nung babae. Taga Eng'g siya. Nak nam pusa, natanga talaga ako ng bonggang bongga. Sabi pa nung babae nung tinanong ko siya, "I'm not in the position to say it to you pero if you want, you can ask him" NAK NAM PUSA YUN PALA ALAM NIYA NA THIRD WHEEL SIYA. Naiyak ako nun. I felt betrayed in the worst way. Nag effort ako eh, alam niyo un? Ang hirap kaya mag print screen at mag crop para may ebidensya ako na naging kami. Nahirapan pa kong ipag send send sakanya yun, fully aware naman pala yung kabit. Anak ng nanay, ang tanga ko. So here's what I did.
Bumalik sakin yung ex ko after their retreat. Sabi niya iniwan niya na daw ung Eng'g girl. (Asa naman, di ako naniniwala. Dyusko) So what I did was hinack ko yahoomail ng ex ko para mabuksan FB nya. Nag change password ako pero ni log in of devices ko kasi dun siya nagf-FB sa android niya. Nakita ko ung mga convo, pucha. ANG DAMI NIYANG BABAE GRABEEEE! Mga pinatulan siya, 'di siya pinatulan. Di ko na alam ung iba. TAPOS SILA PA NUNG ENG'G GIRLALOO nak nam pusa.
Ganito ung mga convo nila eh
ex: "Hi baby, skype "
girl 2: "Di na kita mahal. Di na din kita gusto okay."
ex: "Na miss ka alaga ko eh "
girl 2: "Wala ka alaga"
ex: "dali na papasa load"
SERYOSO. ANO BA NAMAN KLASENG LALAKI YAN.
eto pang isa, ung ka batch niya
ex: "Hi S*****"
girl 3: "Hi"
ex: "Patingin na ng pic "
girl 3: "Wat pic?"
ex: "pic ng ______"
YUCK. Sobrang dami paaaa, kadiri
Ang ginawa ko, pinagp-PRINT SCREEN ko lahaaaat lahat ng mga nilandi niya, girlfriend niya. Nag group chat ako sakanila gamit account nung ex ko. Sinend ko lahat ng mga print screen :)) Tapos 'di pa ko kuntento, gumawa ako ng photo album, title: "Mga Babae Ko. Proud of it." Tapos I posted the pictures, pinagtatag ko silang lahat. "Girl 1", "Girl 2", "Girl 3" (Syempre ako ung girl 1 hahahaha) and biglang chinat ni ex ung kabit niyang Eng'g girl "Babe, wait lang ah, may 'di ko ma open yung yahoomail ko saka FB ko sa PC" Tapos nagmamadali na ko nun "Hutahena, hutahenaaaa!!!!!" tapos upload complete, sent messages LIFE IS AWESOME.
After 2 minutes, na change password niya. Daaaamn I didn't get to see the reaction nung babaeng taga Eng'g. Na curious kasi ako eh. Pano kaya pag ganun, ano nalang sasabihin niya? "AY SHEMS! AKALA KO BA AKO LANG UNG KABIT? BAPUTA MADAMI PALA KAMING KABIT???" Nakakainis lang, nag effort pa talaga ako eh no. Sabi pa niya sa ex ko "Pwede bang pag nag DM sayo si *insert my name here* , gagaguhin ko, mahal? :))" OMG girl.
So di talaga ako nakuntento sa ginawa ko. Ang ginawa ko pa, nakita ko sa convo nila ung twitter account nung babae, saka ung password. Binigay nya sa ex ko. So I opened hers, nag change pw ako and posted the pictures there habang ka DM ung ex ko. Sabi niya "Mag move on ka nalang, bakit mo ba 'to ginagawa?" Sabi ko naman, "I did this to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, f***tard" And sabi naman nung babae "Leave me alooone! Bakit nyo ba 'ko dinadamay dito?"
me: "Di kita dinadamay, girl. Kasali ka talaga Naging kayo throughout our relationship and fully aware ka dun "
ex: "Galing mo mag edit ah. Ibalik mo na nga twitter nya!"
GREAAAT. EDITED DAW AMP. So I kept sending uncropped printscreen photos and binalik ko din kay girl ung twitter niya. Di pa ko nakuntento. I posted it on my blog for all the world to see. It has 100+ blogpost views already. I'll post it on the comments if ever ma post 'to, and if gusto nyo. Para pag sinearch nyo pangalan nung lalaki sa google, un makikita niyo. I explained myself rin sa blog ko. Why did I do what I did? Bakit ko grinoup chat yung mga babae niya at sinend lahat ng prinintscreen ko? Bakit ako gumawa ng album at pinagtatag lahat ng babae niya? Simple. I hate what he did. Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sakanya na I've had guys in my life pero none of them cheated. Siya pa talaga. Sobrang natanga ako pero I stood up from it. Sabi ko ayokong ayoko na may tutulad sa Daddy ko, Lolo ko, isang Lolo ko, Tito ko, yung isang Tito ko pa. AYOKO. I hate what they did. I guess, I'm not only standing up for myself this time. I'm standing up for all the girls who are victims of cheating. Mom, Lola, Lola 2, Tita 1, Tita 2. I am very satisfied, I am very sorry and lastly, I hope this will teach you a lesson you'll never forget, f***tard. See you around.
I hope not.
game changer
2010
College of Education
You are the only exception
Bata pa lang ako, namukat na ako sa katotohan na walang forever. Naghiwalay ang mama at papa ko when I was 8 years old dahil nakabuntis si papa. Since only child ako at mas mahal ko ang mama ko, sa kanya ako sumama. Simula nun, kinamuhian ko na ang papa ko at lahat ng mga lalaki. Pinag-aral ako sa girls school hanggang high school. But everything changed when I went to UST.
He is the first guy I met in the university. He said he was gay. He became my best friend. He treated me like a princess. Bumibisita siya lagi sa bahay. Siya ang bantay ko pag may sakit ako. Para siyang si mama pag nag-aalala. He'll call me to wake me up and sing me to sleep over the phone. One day, paggising ko may bouquet of flowers sa bed side ko. I flipped and I saw him there sitting beside my bed. He smiled. And he started to talk with a manly voice.
Him: Good morning princess.
Me: (nagulat pa rin dahil iba yung boses niya)
Him: Alam kong nagulat ka. Siguro iniisip mo kung panaginip lang ito, but no, this is reality.
He held my hand.
Him: I have something to tell you... I am not gay. Nagpretend ako na gay ako kasi when I first saw you, I fell in love with you. I wanted to be close to you pero nalaman kong galing ka sa girls school and I thought na hindi ka ganun ka-open sa boys. Naconfirm ko na tama ako nung naging friend kita. I love you. Sinabi mo sakin na you won't be open for love. You won't be open to men dahil sa ginawa ng papa mo. But I tell you this, I love you and from the day when you let me become your friend, I've taken care of you and I will take care of you till my last breath.
Hindi ko napigilan ang mga luha ko. At ang nasabi ko lang...
Me: I'm glad na hindi ka gay. I'm glad that I've fallen in love with the right guy.
Sa ngayon, three years na kaming kasal at may two kids na rin kami. Sa husband ko, salamat dahil kahit na naniniwala akong walang forever, you proved to be the only exception.
Hailey Williams
2006
AMV College of Accountancy
He is the first guy I met in the university. He said he was gay. He became my best friend. He treated me like a princess. Bumibisita siya lagi sa bahay. Siya ang bantay ko pag may sakit ako. Para siyang si mama pag nag-aalala. He'll call me to wake me up and sing me to sleep over the phone. One day, paggising ko may bouquet of flowers sa bed side ko. I flipped and I saw him there sitting beside my bed. He smiled. And he started to talk with a manly voice.
Him: Good morning princess.
Me: (nagulat pa rin dahil iba yung boses niya)
Him: Alam kong nagulat ka. Siguro iniisip mo kung panaginip lang ito, but no, this is reality.
He held my hand.
Him: I have something to tell you... I am not gay. Nagpretend ako na gay ako kasi when I first saw you, I fell in love with you. I wanted to be close to you pero nalaman kong galing ka sa girls school and I thought na hindi ka ganun ka-open sa boys. Naconfirm ko na tama ako nung naging friend kita. I love you. Sinabi mo sakin na you won't be open for love. You won't be open to men dahil sa ginawa ng papa mo. But I tell you this, I love you and from the day when you let me become your friend, I've taken care of you and I will take care of you till my last breath.
Hindi ko napigilan ang mga luha ko. At ang nasabi ko lang...
Me: I'm glad na hindi ka gay. I'm glad that I've fallen in love with the right guy.
Sa ngayon, three years na kaming kasal at may two kids na rin kami. Sa husband ko, salamat dahil kahit na naniniwala akong walang forever, you proved to be the only exception.
Hailey Williams
2006
AMV College of Accountancy
Remembering Her
She was smart; brilliant, even. She was astonishingly witty. She was gorgeous and adorable at the same time. She could instantly make you fall in love just by simply being herself. She was my first everything.
I knew that I’d love her the first time that I saw her. “This girl,” I thought, “I’d never get her. Totally out of my league,” I was a pessimist. How could a guy like me ever get a girl as beautiful as her? That’s why I loved her from afar. I never told anyone, not even my best friend, that I liked her. They would all laugh at me.
She was having a hard time in one of our subjects then. I was known in our class to excel in that subject, and so she approached me to ask for help. I was so nervous. Our classmates were staring, her friends were watching, and I was shaking. Nevertheless, I answered all of her questions, except one.
“Dylan, ok lang ba kung magpapaturo ako sa’yo after ng class?”
I was speechless. There was the girl of my dreams, in front of me, inviting me to a study session.
“Uhm….” I uttered,
“Thanks, Dylan! You’re the best!” And she skipped back to her seat.
Later that day, while studying, she handed me a letter and “went to the washroom”.
It said (exact words):
“Dylan,
Seeing you everyday makes me happy.. but being with you is bliss.”
I asked her out on our senior year. We got married 3 years later.
Now, almost 4 years after her death, I’m in love with another girl.
She calls me daddy.
We miss you, sweetheart. Thalia says she hopes you're doing fine there in heaven.
We love you.
Dylan
2005
Faculty of Pharmacy
I knew that I’d love her the first time that I saw her. “This girl,” I thought, “I’d never get her. Totally out of my league,” I was a pessimist. How could a guy like me ever get a girl as beautiful as her? That’s why I loved her from afar. I never told anyone, not even my best friend, that I liked her. They would all laugh at me.
She was having a hard time in one of our subjects then. I was known in our class to excel in that subject, and so she approached me to ask for help. I was so nervous. Our classmates were staring, her friends were watching, and I was shaking. Nevertheless, I answered all of her questions, except one.
“Dylan, ok lang ba kung magpapaturo ako sa’yo after ng class?”
I was speechless. There was the girl of my dreams, in front of me, inviting me to a study session.
“Uhm….” I uttered,
“Thanks, Dylan! You’re the best!” And she skipped back to her seat.
Later that day, while studying, she handed me a letter and “went to the washroom”.
It said (exact words):
“Dylan,
Seeing you everyday makes me happy.. but being with you is bliss.”
I asked her out on our senior year. We got married 3 years later.
Now, almost 4 years after her death, I’m in love with another girl.
She calls me daddy.
We miss you, sweetheart. Thalia says she hopes you're doing fine there in heaven.
We love you.
Dylan
2005
Faculty of Pharmacy
Suicide is not the best answer
At a very young age, specifically two years old, I lost my mother because she committed suicide. My father, who is a very committed man: to his vices, mistresses, and alcohol constantly beat my mother every day in front of me when she was alive. Then came a time when she finally chose to give up. I still remember my mom whispering "You will be stronger than me, I'm sorry. Forgive me, my son. I love you." as she drank the so-called "sleeping juice" in front of me. When I was five, my father married his one of his mistresses (because he impregnated her) and they bore a daughter named Chelsea. I remember my step-mom attempting to drown me every time she gave me a bath. She would strangle me, curse at me, and hit me. As time went, when I was already ten, I got diagnosed with brain tumor, my father and step mom talked, and they’ve decided to completely disown me. I was literally put up for adoption. None of my relatives would adopt me because one: I am sick and was “about to die”, two: I did a terrible job in school and was constantly sent to the disciplines office for fighting back. So, in the end of the adoption story, I was then adopted by my grandmother, who accepted me wholeheartedly, fed me, cared for me, mentored me, and loved me. She paid for my brain tumor surgery and I became partially well. Life was going well until one regular school day, a phone call from the guidance office gave me an unexpected news: my grandmother died of a heart attack. I broke down in tears. It came to the point when they had to get officials to talk to me because I locked myself in the men’s room for six long hours. I sat in the cubicle and reflected: “Nobody is there for me now that she is gone. Who is gonna love me?” I was still bald that time so the bullying became thrice as worse, it came to the point that they’d beat me. I really had no friends or family. At a very young age, I was exposed to suicide. Thoughts of suicide came in every day and night. There was never a minute that passed without suicidal thoughts coming towards me. So finally, I’ve decided to commit suicide. I was in a verge of jumping from our school building for an instant death, until a group of people stopped me. They told me that they totally feel me, so I became comforted and a tagged along in their group. My friends were bullies, so I bullied too. College came by and I was eighteen, and little did I learn that my friends have become drug addicts, players, and alcoholics. While I was in the group, I was forced to have sex with random girls. I impregnated a girl named Jen, who was only sixteen that time. Love never came in my sight, until one day, I felt a different feeling, when I eyed on a girl that I eventually fell in love with. I left my “friends” because they suddenly reminded me of my parents, and also, I needed an open room for love. Yes, I courted her for three years, but eventually she declined my love when she learned about my past, my son, and my vices. Suicidal thoughts came again. This time, more, since I am running out of reasons to live. I don’t have a family, I have a son to feed, I am broke, I got fired from my part-time job, I was debarred, I have vices, I was rejected everywhere. That night, I only had one hundred pesos left in my wallet, and I rode a jeep so that I could buy a lot of food for my last meal. As I rode the jeep, we passed by a crime scene, wherein there was a little boy of poverty (I think he was five years old), crying as he screamed “BUMALIK KA PAPA!” He was continuously waking his dad up. Apparently, the boy’s father was beaten to death because he was a thief. I thought for a minute, and I remembered my mom’s death because of suicide, and I saw this boy desperate for the return of his dad, now was I about to do the same to my innocent one year old son? I immediately rode home and gave my son a big hug, and I promised to never leave him, ever.
My biological father died last year due to liver cancer. Now I am married with my beautiful wife Ann, who is a doctor, and we have a pair beautiful twins who are still in high school. My first son Marcus from Jen is graduating from a well-known college in the Philippines (the one with the eagle
wink emoticon
, I didn’t finish college first, instead, I started a small business, and it worked out. With the savings from my business, I could afford to go back to school, so I came back to college. I studied real hard, and I am going to get my Ph.D next year. My family and I are off to migrate soon. Long story short: There are times when the past will haunt you, it’s either you choose let it affect you or learn from it. Life is short, embrace it while you still can. Not everyone is privileged to have life and remain alive. Suicide is not the best answer.
PS. Mom, I did it. I became strong. I hope you’re proud of me. I love you too. Take care of lola!
No Code Name
Faculty of Arts and Letters
19xx
My biological father died last year due to liver cancer. Now I am married with my beautiful wife Ann, who is a doctor, and we have a pair beautiful twins who are still in high school. My first son Marcus from Jen is graduating from a well-known college in the Philippines (the one with the eagle
wink emoticon
, I didn’t finish college first, instead, I started a small business, and it worked out. With the savings from my business, I could afford to go back to school, so I came back to college. I studied real hard, and I am going to get my Ph.D next year. My family and I are off to migrate soon. Long story short: There are times when the past will haunt you, it’s either you choose let it affect you or learn from it. Life is short, embrace it while you still can. Not everyone is privileged to have life and remain alive. Suicide is not the best answer.
PS. Mom, I did it. I became strong. I hope you’re proud of me. I love you too. Take care of lola!
No Code Name
Faculty of Arts and Letters
19xx
Seatmate
SA BUONG STAY KO SA UST
ISA LANG YUNG KATABI KO.
NA INLOVE TULOY AKO SAKANYA.
Bawat hingi niya ng papel nakakakilig, bawat kopya niya ng homework nakakainlove. Ang hirap mainlove sa katabi mo lalo na kung naging close na kayo.
Nung naging close kami tsaka ko siya nakilala lalo. Lahat ng beliefs niya. Yuong faith niya kay God. Yuong pagiging family oriented niya. Lahat nalaman ko. Lahat yun naging dahilan kung bakit napaibig ako lalo.
Cliche kami. Nagkaroon ng pag aminan habang Paskuhan. Naging kami habang nasa lover's lane. Sa graduation humingi siya ng 2 years sa akin. 2 years para hanapin yuong sarili niya. 2 years para kilalanin yuong sarili niya para maging mas mabuti siya para sa akin. Masakit pero binigay ko yung 2 years na hinihingi niya.
1 year and 7 months makalipas ng graduation, may sarili na akong buhay. May magandang trabaho, may mabuting kinabukasan para sa sarili ko. Bumalik siya sa akin. Doon niya pinakita sa akin ang ipinundar niya sa loob ng oras na hiningi niya. May sarili na siyang bahay at kotse. May negosyo na at kung tutuusin, secured na siya sa buhay niya. Ginawa niya pala yuon para sa kinabukasan namin. Humingi siya ng oras para makahanda siya sa future namin. 2 months after ng Paskuhan sa taon na yun, nagpakasal kami sa Santisimo Rosario.
Madami kaming blessings, pinaghandaan niya talaga ang kinabukasan namin. Iniisip niya kasi na kailangan niya akong buhayin sa kinasanayan kong pamumuhay. Kasi galing ako sa well off na pamilya. Nakakahiya daw kaso kung wala siyang mapapakain sa amin ng mga magiging anak namin.
Napaghandaan niya ang lahat maliban sa isang bagay. Nung May na bunggo siya ng jeep ng driver na nagmamaneho ng lasing. Total wreck ang nangyari. Wasak na wasak talaga lahat sa point na hindi na nila pinaview ang remains niya.
Naisipan ko lang alalahanin siya kasi malapit na ang due date ko sa panganay namin. Nakakalungkot man isipin na lalaki ang anak ko na walang tatay, alam ko naman na may anghel na nagbabantay at naghahanda para sa pagdating niya.
Sa seat mate ko, alam kong binabantayan mo kami. I cannot express how much I miss you. Bakit mo ako sinanay na andito ka sa tabi ko? Mula first period ng first sem hanggang graduation magkasama tayo. Nag build tayo ng future natin na di natin na isip na ang future na to ay possibleng future ng isa lang sa atin. It hurts me so much that you are gone. Excited na ako mameet ang anak natin. I'm sure magmamana siya sayo.
You were my seat mate but we both know you are more than that. You copied my notes, you took all my food, but you also showed me life. Paano kaya kung hindi ikaw ang naging seat mate ko? Ano na kaya ang buhay ko? Pero i would never trade everything with you just to know how life would have been. But I would trade anything to be with my seat mate in life again. I miss you so much.
Mo Tzu
Philo
2006
ISA LANG YUNG KATABI KO.
NA INLOVE TULOY AKO SAKANYA.
Bawat hingi niya ng papel nakakakilig, bawat kopya niya ng homework nakakainlove. Ang hirap mainlove sa katabi mo lalo na kung naging close na kayo.
Nung naging close kami tsaka ko siya nakilala lalo. Lahat ng beliefs niya. Yuong faith niya kay God. Yuong pagiging family oriented niya. Lahat nalaman ko. Lahat yun naging dahilan kung bakit napaibig ako lalo.
Cliche kami. Nagkaroon ng pag aminan habang Paskuhan. Naging kami habang nasa lover's lane. Sa graduation humingi siya ng 2 years sa akin. 2 years para hanapin yuong sarili niya. 2 years para kilalanin yuong sarili niya para maging mas mabuti siya para sa akin. Masakit pero binigay ko yung 2 years na hinihingi niya.
1 year and 7 months makalipas ng graduation, may sarili na akong buhay. May magandang trabaho, may mabuting kinabukasan para sa sarili ko. Bumalik siya sa akin. Doon niya pinakita sa akin ang ipinundar niya sa loob ng oras na hiningi niya. May sarili na siyang bahay at kotse. May negosyo na at kung tutuusin, secured na siya sa buhay niya. Ginawa niya pala yuon para sa kinabukasan namin. Humingi siya ng oras para makahanda siya sa future namin. 2 months after ng Paskuhan sa taon na yun, nagpakasal kami sa Santisimo Rosario.
Madami kaming blessings, pinaghandaan niya talaga ang kinabukasan namin. Iniisip niya kasi na kailangan niya akong buhayin sa kinasanayan kong pamumuhay. Kasi galing ako sa well off na pamilya. Nakakahiya daw kaso kung wala siyang mapapakain sa amin ng mga magiging anak namin.
Napaghandaan niya ang lahat maliban sa isang bagay. Nung May na bunggo siya ng jeep ng driver na nagmamaneho ng lasing. Total wreck ang nangyari. Wasak na wasak talaga lahat sa point na hindi na nila pinaview ang remains niya.
Naisipan ko lang alalahanin siya kasi malapit na ang due date ko sa panganay namin. Nakakalungkot man isipin na lalaki ang anak ko na walang tatay, alam ko naman na may anghel na nagbabantay at naghahanda para sa pagdating niya.
Sa seat mate ko, alam kong binabantayan mo kami. I cannot express how much I miss you. Bakit mo ako sinanay na andito ka sa tabi ko? Mula first period ng first sem hanggang graduation magkasama tayo. Nag build tayo ng future natin na di natin na isip na ang future na to ay possibleng future ng isa lang sa atin. It hurts me so much that you are gone. Excited na ako mameet ang anak natin. I'm sure magmamana siya sayo.
You were my seat mate but we both know you are more than that. You copied my notes, you took all my food, but you also showed me life. Paano kaya kung hindi ikaw ang naging seat mate ko? Ano na kaya ang buhay ko? Pero i would never trade everything with you just to know how life would have been. But I would trade anything to be with my seat mate in life again. I miss you so much.
Mo Tzu
Philo
2006
An Ending Grace
[This is worth reading - Eran]
An Ending Grace
"It has more or less been eight years already if I recall it right. Graduation became synonymous with freedom and relief when I finally crossed that archaic arch by Espana. Almost everyone could possibly relate: relief from thesis, defense, and those countless, sleepless nights spent facing handouts filled with information that appear like hieroglyphs under procrastination, freedom from dealing with people who are likely fed up with you as well at the back of their heads, freedom from guilt and retribution from mischievous teenage misadventures. I could describe my memories in college more like traumatic than memorable since they are more likely to elicit a distorted expression than a smile upon my face every time I reminisce. Well, except for one memory though. And right, cliché as it sounds but a girl is involved. And thesis.
Graduate school and other science-related students would probably be aware of the existence of TARC and the difficulty of working inside its labs within a limited time especially if you’re an undergraduate. For the desperate, accomplishing their lab tasks until the last graduate student in-charge leaves would even drive them to performing “ninja moves” like stealthily bypassing the security and even disguising as a grad student or professor. Our thesis group was unfortunately among these desperate students turned ninjas by 10pm. Fortunately, we were not the only ones.
Our studies have required us to work on the upper floors, jumping from one lab to another to make use of specialized equipment housed in other departments. Most of the time, I was the one tasked to these jobs-for-the-patient like waiting on the autoclave or even the simple melting of materials in the microwave. It was one of those boring errand-boy moments when I met Grace.
The first time I saw her, I thought she was stress incarnate. Her long, black hair was tied into a ponytail but remained as disheveled as her lab gown and her eyeglasses concealed dark circles around her eyes. She was catching her breath when she entered the lab, her hands full of beakers and flasks. I was just there, standing in line, waiting for the person before me to finish with his thing.
DING!
Finally. The sound of the microwave. My turn. My thoughts of relief were disrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Ms. Stress Incarnate.
“Uh…excuse me po. Pwedeng pa-microwave?” She asked with a pleading smile. “Isa lang po, don’t worry. Ito lang talagang isa kasi kailangan na namin,” she continued while shoving a 250 mL flask at my face. “Mamaya ko pa isusunod yung iba.” She added, probab[This is worth reading - Eran]
An Ending Grace
"It has more or less been eight years already if I recall it right. Graduation became synonymous with freedom and relief when I finally crossed that archaic arch by Espana. Almost everyone could possibly relate: relief from thesis, defense, and those countless, sleepless nights spent facing handouts filled with information that appear like hieroglyphs under procrastination, freedom from dealing with people who are likely fed up with you as well at the back of their heads, freedom from guilt and retribution from mischievous teenage misadventures. I could describe my memories in college more like traumatic than memorable since they are more likely to elicit a distorted expression than a smile upon my face every time I reminisce. Well, except for one memory though. And right, cliché as it sounds but a girl is involved. And thesis.
Graduate school and other science-related students would probably be aware of the existence of TARC and the difficulty of working inside its labs within a limited time especially if you’re an undergraduate. For the desperate, accomplishing their lab tasks until the last graduate student in-charge leaves would even drive them to performing “ninja moves” like stealthily bypassing the security and even disguising as a grad student or professor. Our thesis group was unfortunately among these desperate students turned ninjas by 10pm. Fortunately, we were not the only ones.
Our studies have required us to work on the upper floors, jumping from one lab to another to make use of specialized equipment housed in other departments. Most of the time, I was the one tasked to these jobs-for-the-patient like waiting on the autoclave or even the simple melting of materials in the microwave. It was one of those boring errand-boy moments when I met Grace.
The first time I saw her, I thought she was stress incarnate. Her long, black hair was tied into a ponytail but remained as disheveled as her lab gown and her eyeglasses concealed dark circles around her eyes. She was catching her breath when she entered the lab, her hands full of beakers and flasks. I was just there, standing in line, waiting for the person before me to finish with his thing.
DING!
Finally. The sound of the microwave. My turn. My thoughts of relief were disrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Ms. Stress Incarnate.
“Uh…excuse me po. Pwedeng pa-microwave?” She asked with a pleading smile. “Isa lang po, don’t worry. Ito lang talagang isa kasi kailangan na namin,” she continued while shoving a 250 mL flask at my face. “Mamaya ko pa isusunod yung iba.” She added, probably seeing me glance at her other glassware filled with who-knows-what.
“Uh…” I stuttered.
“Sige na please. Please. Please. Please. 30 seconds lang.” She continued pleading with a smile.
“Ok, then,” I finally replied. “Pero ‘yan lang muna talagang isa ha.” I said looking at her, now beaming at my reply.
“Yes! Thank you po!” She exclaimed then hurriedly placed the beaker in the microwave. Thirty seconds passed and she dropped another “thank you” before rushing out the lab. By the time she was back, I already had my own beaker in the microwave. I still had a few minutes. I had a small tray with me back then. Four flasks were still in line.
“Bilis ah…” I jokingly commented when she reentered the lab with a sigh.
“Siyempre naman. Madami pa kaming gagawin eh. Hanggang mga 10 pa siguro kami.” She replied with her unfading smile.
“Apir!” I exclaimed approaching her while raising my palm for a high-five. “May karamay pala kami.” I added chuckling at her. She raised her own palm and gave me a high-five just in time when the microwave sounded. I then attended to it and placed my next glassware. I turned my back on the equipment, leaned on the counter, and heaved a sigh.
“Stressed, kuya?” My newly met acquaintance asked.
“Medyo,” I replied not looking at her. I closed my eyes and massaged the space between my brows. “Ano ulit name mo?” I asked still pressing on my forehead.
“Ah, Grace po.” She replied.
“Ano ka, grasya galing kay Lord?” I asked jokingly. She only giggled back.
Our conversation went on from there and her impression of a stressed out student eventually disappeared from my sight as she kept beaming with optimism despite her obvious fatigue. I never imagined from that moment that my heart would end up melting for Grace in the next days as all the agar media I’ve melted that night of our first encounter. By the time, I finished using the microwave, Grace and I already knew at what labs each of us worked in and from what colleges and sections we came from. I had to wait for another encounter ‘til I could ask for her number.
Months passed and I’ve discovered more about Grace. I’ve learned that she boards alone in a dorm at Dapitan, that she occasionally wears contact lens, that she’s actually pretty when the days are kind enough to give her a break from lab or school work, and that she has a habit of passing by the chapel to pray even if it’s out of her way home. Since we both work late in our own theses, I’ve eventually decided to make it my duty to walk her home. It wasn’t much of a trouble for me since I just live in P. Noval myself. My feelings for her gradually developed until desires to hold her hand, caress her hair, and even kiss her, slowly sprung in my heart. I was falling for her and the fact that graduation was nearing made me more nervous and frustrated. I had to make my moves sooner or later. I needed a perfect timing, the perfect setting, just she and I and the honest expression of my withheld emotions. And so one night, just a week after our thesis defenses, I thought I’d accompany her from her prayer habit at the chapel and reach out my feelings to her when I walk her home. We’ve just gone out of the church bringing with us plastic bags heavy with excess materials from the lab when it suddenly poured as if encouraging me further to pour out my feelings for Grace. Grace put out her umbrella while I put on a transparent raincoat similar with what the security wears on rainy days. We walked through the pass bisecting the botanical garden and made our way for the shortcut pass near the Pharmacy labs and TARC. We have just passed by the statues near the high school canteen when the lights went off. We stopped at our tracks and fell quiet. I felt Grace inching towards my side.
“Wait, mahina mata ko, pwede pakapit?” she asked whispering to my ear. “Tsaka kasi ‘di ba inaayos yung drainage malapit dun sa shortcut, baka mahulog ako.” she continued.
“Sus, sabihin mo takot ka lang sa dilim,” I teased back. “O, asan na kamay mo? Akin na nga. Dapat pala may walking stick ka eh. Pano na yan, baka ako naman mahulog sa'yo dahil dito.” I replied joking as I snatched her shivering hand with my own trembling palm. She only giggled and I knew from that moment that this was the hand I would love to hold for the rest of my life.
The two of us felt our way slowly through the darkness as the rain continued to pour heavily. Grace told me how weird she finds such weather on a February. I couldn’t care less about the bad weather though. I had my own storm inside me. My heart started to race. And just like the unstoppable downpour drowning the earth that night, the dam of my feelings finally broke into a deluge. I grabbed Grace’s hand tighter and pushed her towards a narrow space along the shortcut pass to TARC.
“Uy, anong biro na naman ba ito?” She asked as if anticipating a joke any second from now.
“Nabitawan ko pa tuloy yung payong ko,” she added.
“Grace, kasi…” I paused holding her hand tighter. The narrow space was so small, I could kiss her if I dared. I slowly placed my other hand on her cheek and led my fingers towards the back of her head, slid it down to her neck then shoulder, then back to her neck. I could feel her hand trembling from my grasp. I inched closer so she is now against the wall. And then, with one of my hands resting by her neck, I started to choke her.
Grace’s reactions were too late; the panic, the disbelief. It was my dominant hand holding her neck and my built was far bigger than hers; I overpowered her without effort. Her tight grip on my hand eventually relaxed. Her tensioned body finally leaned sluggishly against the wall, pressed by my aroused flesh. The rain and darkness continued to be my accomplice. I slowly laid down Grace’s body on the wet ground. There was no room for complicated positions so I just went on top of her. I put out the meat cleaver I concealed using sheets of the University’s newspaper. I started chopping off her arms by her elbow joints and placed them inside a small garbage bag. I lifted her chin and decapitated her with a couple of blows. Blood splattered everywhere but I remained calm knowing that the site I chose was most strategic. Rainwater from the other end of the area rinsed my crime scene instantly and rush towards the several holes on the cemented ground at the mouth of the narrow pass leading to the drains. I decided to only keep Grace’s arms and head. I continued chopping the body until they resembled the beef cuts for sale one sees in the supermarket.
After I’ve wrapped my trophies properly with another plastic bag, I placed them in an eco-bag and slid it in my drenched backpack. I collected the other chopped parts and walked towards the open drainage at the end of the shortcut. Several sacks filled with trash collected from the drainage were stacked on top of each other. Most of the sacks were untied. I went back and forth from the narrow pass to the sacks, shoving in the hacked pieces of Grace among the stinking waste. I tied the sacks myself and got the staining dyes from my plastic bag. I had two amber bottles of malachite green and safranin. I opened both bottles and splashed the dyes by the perimeters of my crime scene. I then broke their glass containers and spread the shards as well, painting a picture as if some dyes accidentally spread around the area. This was to mask any stray bloodstain that the rain would fail to wash away. As if the impeding a flood is still not enough to hide my traces. I returned to the narrow pass and gathered Grace’s things and mine. I picked up her umbrella and faced the torrential rain as if nothing happened. I reached the front of TARC and looked back at the darkness behind me. Unfortunately, the power was still down and I couldn’t check how neat I actually left the site.
I continued walking until I reached the Dapitan gate. The guard saw me and pointed out my messy state.
“Boy, ba’t andito ka pa? Pasado alas diyes na ah, sa’n ka ba galing? Tsaka ano yang makulay sa damit mo?” the guard showered me with inquiries as he surveyed me with his flashlight.
“Galing po ako ng simbahan,” I shouted in reply competing to the rain’s angry splattering.
“Bigla pong namatay yung ilaw kanina tapos nadapa po ako. Nabasag po tuloy tapos kumalat yung staining dyes namin,” I continued explaining while I raised my plastic bag still containing several amber bottles and other lab materials.
“O sige, mag-ingat ka na lang at bumabaha na.” the guard said as he opened the gate for me.
“Sige po, salamat! Ingat din po kayo,” I replied as I waded through the flood.
The rain did not stop even after I left the campus. Exiting at Dapitan slowed me to my way to my apartment at P. Noval. The flood rising up to my knees added to my delay. In the end, I reached my place safely. I took a long shower and immediately drank doxycycline. I threw myself on my couch and noticed my drenched backpack on the floor. I grabbed it and put out Grace’s arms and head. I ignored the blood droplets that stained the tiled floor. I positioned Grace’s hand to hold mine while I put her head on my lap to pet her hair. It was the first night in my entire college life that I spent warmly despite a rainy weather.
Now, as I typed this while listening to the news about typhoon Glenda, I couldn't help going back to that night with Grace at the narrow pass. She was literally and figuratively a grace from God to me. She taught me that college is just like any flood; it will subside. No matter how harsh the weather may be, the sun would shine back in the end. Just look at me. I still graduated despite everything that happened."
Proud Graduate
2006
College of Science
[Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental - Eran]ly seeing me glance at her other glassware filled with who-knows-what.
“Uh…” I stuttered.
“Sige na please. Please. Please. Please. 30 seconds lang.” She continued pleading with a smile.
“Ok, then,” I finally replied. “Pero ‘yan lang muna talagang isa ha.” I said looking at her, now beaming at my reply.
“Yes! Thank you po!” She exclaimed then hurriedly placed the beaker in the microwave. Thirty seconds passed and she dropped another “thank you” before rushing out the lab. By the time she was back, I already had my own beaker in the microwave. I still had a few minutes. I had a small tray with me back then. Four flasks were still in line.
“Bilis ah…” I jokingly commented when she reentered the lab with a sigh.
“Siyempre naman. Madami pa kaming gagawin eh. Hanggang mga 10 pa siguro kami.” She replied with her unfading smile.
“Apir!” I exclaimed approaching her while raising my palm for a high-five. “May karamay pala kami.” I added chuckling at her. She raised her own palm and gave me a high-five just in time when the microwave sounded. I then attended to it and placed my next glassware. I turned my back on the equipment, leaned on the counter, and heaved a sigh.
“Stressed, kuya?” My newly met acquaintance asked.
“Medyo,” I replied not looking at her. I closed my eyes and massaged the space between my brows. “Ano ulit name mo?” I asked still pressing on my forehead.
“Ah, Grace po.” She replied.
“Ano ka, grasya galing kay Lord?” I asked jokingly. She only giggled back.
Our conversation went on from there and her impression of a stressed out student eventually disappeared from my sight as she kept beaming with optimism despite her obvious fatigue. I never imagined from that moment that my heart would end up melting for Grace in the next days as all the agar media I’ve melted that night of our first encounter. By the time, I finished using the microwave, Grace and I already knew at what labs each of us worked in and from what colleges and sections we came from. I had to wait for another encounter ‘til I could ask for her number.
Months passed and I’ve discovered more about Grace. I’ve learned that she boards alone in a dorm at Dapitan, that she occasionally wears contact lens, that she’s actually pretty when the days are kind enough to give her a break from lab or school work, and that she has a habit of passing by the chapel to pray even if it’s out of her way home. Since we both work late in our own theses, I’ve eventually decided to make it my duty to walk her home. It wasn’t much of a trouble for me since I just live in P. Noval myself. My feelings for her gradually developed until desires to hold her hand, caress her hair, and even kiss her, slowly sprung in my heart. I was falling for her and the fact that graduation was nearing made me more nervous and frustrated. I had to make my moves sooner or later. I needed a perfect timing, the perfect setting, just she and I and the honest expression of my withheld emotions. And so one night, just a week after our thesis defenses, I thought I’d accompany her from her prayer habit at the chapel and reach out my feelings to her when I walk her home. We’ve just gone out of the church bringing with us plastic bags heavy with excess materials from the lab when it suddenly poured as if encouraging me further to pour out my feelings for Grace. Grace put out her umbrella while I put on a transparent raincoat similar with what the security wears on rainy days. We walked through the pass bisecting the botanical garden and made our way for the shortcut pass near the Pharmacy labs and TARC. We have just passed by the statues near the high school canteen when the lights went off. We stopped at our tracks and fell quiet. I felt Grace inching towards my side.
“Wait, mahina mata ko, pwede pakapit?” she asked whispering to my ear. “Tsaka kasi ‘di ba inaayos yung drainage malapit dun sa shortcut, baka mahulog ako.” she continued.
“Sus, sabihin mo takot ka lang sa dilim,” I teased back. “O, asan na kamay mo? Akin na nga. Dapat pala may walking stick ka eh. Pano na yan, baka ako naman mahulog sa'yo dahil dito.” I replied joking as I snatched her shivering hand with my own trembling palm. She only giggled and I knew from that moment that this was the hand I would love to hold for the rest of my life.
The two of us felt our way slowly through the darkness as the rain continued to pour heavily. Grace told me how weird she finds such weather on a February. I couldn’t care less about the bad weather though. I had my own storm inside me. My heart started to race. And just like the unstoppable downpour drowning the earth that night, the dam of my feelings finally broke into a deluge. I grabbed Grace’s hand tighter and pushed her towards a narrow space along the shortcut pass to TARC.
“Uy, anong biro na naman ba ito?” She asked as if anticipating a joke any second from now.
“Nabitawan ko pa tuloy yung payong ko,” she added.
“Grace, kasi…” I paused holding her hand tighter. The narrow space was so small, I could kiss her if I dared. I slowly placed my other hand on her cheek and led my fingers towards the back of her head, slid it down to her neck then shoulder, then back to her neck. I could feel her hand trembling from my grasp. I inched closer so she is now against the wall. And then, with one of my hands resting by her neck, I started to choke her.
Grace’s reactions were too late; the panic, the disbelief. It was my dominant hand holding her neck and my built was far bigger than hers; I overpowered her without effort. Her tight grip on my hand eventually relaxed. Her tensioned body finally leaned sluggishly against the wall, pressed by my aroused flesh. The rain and darkness continued to be my accomplice. I slowly laid down Grace’s body on the wet ground. There was no room for complicated positions so I just went on top of her. I put out the meat cleaver I concealed using sheets of the University’s newspaper. I started chopping off her arms by her elbow joints and placed them inside a small garbage bag. I lifted her chin and decapitated her with a couple of blows. Blood splattered everywhere but I remained calm knowing that the site I chose was most strategic. Rainwater from the other end of the area rinsed my crime scene instantly and rush towards the several holes on the cemented ground at the mouth of the narrow pass leading to the drains. I decided to only keep Grace’s arms and head. I continued chopping the body until they resembled the beef cuts for sale one sees in the supermarket.
After I’ve wrapped my trophies properly with another plastic bag, I placed them in an eco-bag and slid it in my drenched backpack. I collected the other chopped parts and walked towards the open drainage at the end of the shortcut. Several sacks filled with trash collected from the drainage were stacked on top of each other. Most of the sacks were untied. I went back and forth from the narrow pass to the sacks, shoving in the hacked pieces of Grace among the stinking waste. I tied the sacks myself and got the staining dyes from my plastic bag. I had two amber bottles of malachite green and safranin. I opened both bottles and splashed the dyes by the perimeters of my crime scene. I then broke their glass containers and spread the shards as well, painting a picture as if some dyes accidentally spread around the area. This was to mask any stray bloodstain that the rain would fail to wash away. As if the impeding a flood is still not enough to hide my traces. I returned to the narrow pass and gathered Grace’s things and mine. I picked up her umbrella and faced the torrential rain as if nothing happened. I reached the front of TARC and looked back at the darkness behind me. Unfortunately, the power was still down and I couldn’t check how neat I actually left the site.
I continued walking until I reached the Dapitan gate. The guard saw me and pointed out my messy state.
“Boy, ba’t andito ka pa? Pasado alas diyes na ah, sa’n ka ba galing? Tsaka ano yang makulay sa damit mo?” the guard showered me with inquiries as he surveyed me with his flashlight.
“Galing po ako ng simbahan,” I shouted in reply competing to the rain’s angry splattering.
“Bigla pong namatay yung ilaw kanina tapos nadapa po ako. Nabasag po tuloy tapos kumalat yung staining dyes namin,” I continued explaining while I raised my plastic bag still containing several amber bottles and other lab materials.
“O sige, mag-ingat ka na lang at bumabaha na.” the guard said as he opened the gate for me.
“Sige po, salamat! Ingat din po kayo,” I replied as I waded through the flood.
The rain did not stop even after I left the campus. Exiting at Dapitan slowed me to my way to my apartment at P. Noval. The flood rising up to my knees added to my delay. In the end, I reached my place safely. I took a long shower and immediately drank doxycycline. I threw myself on my couch and noticed my drenched backpack on the floor. I grabbed it and put out Grace’s arms and head. I ignored the blood droplets that stained the tiled floor. I positioned Grace’s hand to hold mine while I put her head on my lap to pet her hair. It was the first night in my entire college life that I spent warmly despite a rainy weather.
Now, as I typed this while listening to the news about typhoon Glenda, I couldn't help going back to that night with Grace at the narrow pass. She was literally and figuratively a grace from God to me. She taught me that college is just like any flood; it will subside. No matter how harsh the weather may be, the sun would shine back in the end. Just look at me. I still graduated despite everything that happened."
Proud Graduate
2006
College of Science
[Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental - Eran]
An Ending Grace
"It has more or less been eight years already if I recall it right. Graduation became synonymous with freedom and relief when I finally crossed that archaic arch by Espana. Almost everyone could possibly relate: relief from thesis, defense, and those countless, sleepless nights spent facing handouts filled with information that appear like hieroglyphs under procrastination, freedom from dealing with people who are likely fed up with you as well at the back of their heads, freedom from guilt and retribution from mischievous teenage misadventures. I could describe my memories in college more like traumatic than memorable since they are more likely to elicit a distorted expression than a smile upon my face every time I reminisce. Well, except for one memory though. And right, cliché as it sounds but a girl is involved. And thesis.
Graduate school and other science-related students would probably be aware of the existence of TARC and the difficulty of working inside its labs within a limited time especially if you’re an undergraduate. For the desperate, accomplishing their lab tasks until the last graduate student in-charge leaves would even drive them to performing “ninja moves” like stealthily bypassing the security and even disguising as a grad student or professor. Our thesis group was unfortunately among these desperate students turned ninjas by 10pm. Fortunately, we were not the only ones.
Our studies have required us to work on the upper floors, jumping from one lab to another to make use of specialized equipment housed in other departments. Most of the time, I was the one tasked to these jobs-for-the-patient like waiting on the autoclave or even the simple melting of materials in the microwave. It was one of those boring errand-boy moments when I met Grace.
The first time I saw her, I thought she was stress incarnate. Her long, black hair was tied into a ponytail but remained as disheveled as her lab gown and her eyeglasses concealed dark circles around her eyes. She was catching her breath when she entered the lab, her hands full of beakers and flasks. I was just there, standing in line, waiting for the person before me to finish with his thing.
DING!
Finally. The sound of the microwave. My turn. My thoughts of relief were disrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Ms. Stress Incarnate.
“Uh…excuse me po. Pwedeng pa-microwave?” She asked with a pleading smile. “Isa lang po, don’t worry. Ito lang talagang isa kasi kailangan na namin,” she continued while shoving a 250 mL flask at my face. “Mamaya ko pa isusunod yung iba.” She added, probab[This is worth reading - Eran]
An Ending Grace
"It has more or less been eight years already if I recall it right. Graduation became synonymous with freedom and relief when I finally crossed that archaic arch by Espana. Almost everyone could possibly relate: relief from thesis, defense, and those countless, sleepless nights spent facing handouts filled with information that appear like hieroglyphs under procrastination, freedom from dealing with people who are likely fed up with you as well at the back of their heads, freedom from guilt and retribution from mischievous teenage misadventures. I could describe my memories in college more like traumatic than memorable since they are more likely to elicit a distorted expression than a smile upon my face every time I reminisce. Well, except for one memory though. And right, cliché as it sounds but a girl is involved. And thesis.
Graduate school and other science-related students would probably be aware of the existence of TARC and the difficulty of working inside its labs within a limited time especially if you’re an undergraduate. For the desperate, accomplishing their lab tasks until the last graduate student in-charge leaves would even drive them to performing “ninja moves” like stealthily bypassing the security and even disguising as a grad student or professor. Our thesis group was unfortunately among these desperate students turned ninjas by 10pm. Fortunately, we were not the only ones.
Our studies have required us to work on the upper floors, jumping from one lab to another to make use of specialized equipment housed in other departments. Most of the time, I was the one tasked to these jobs-for-the-patient like waiting on the autoclave or even the simple melting of materials in the microwave. It was one of those boring errand-boy moments when I met Grace.
The first time I saw her, I thought she was stress incarnate. Her long, black hair was tied into a ponytail but remained as disheveled as her lab gown and her eyeglasses concealed dark circles around her eyes. She was catching her breath when she entered the lab, her hands full of beakers and flasks. I was just there, standing in line, waiting for the person before me to finish with his thing.
DING!
Finally. The sound of the microwave. My turn. My thoughts of relief were disrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was Ms. Stress Incarnate.
“Uh…excuse me po. Pwedeng pa-microwave?” She asked with a pleading smile. “Isa lang po, don’t worry. Ito lang talagang isa kasi kailangan na namin,” she continued while shoving a 250 mL flask at my face. “Mamaya ko pa isusunod yung iba.” She added, probably seeing me glance at her other glassware filled with who-knows-what.
“Uh…” I stuttered.
“Sige na please. Please. Please. Please. 30 seconds lang.” She continued pleading with a smile.
“Ok, then,” I finally replied. “Pero ‘yan lang muna talagang isa ha.” I said looking at her, now beaming at my reply.
“Yes! Thank you po!” She exclaimed then hurriedly placed the beaker in the microwave. Thirty seconds passed and she dropped another “thank you” before rushing out the lab. By the time she was back, I already had my own beaker in the microwave. I still had a few minutes. I had a small tray with me back then. Four flasks were still in line.
“Bilis ah…” I jokingly commented when she reentered the lab with a sigh.
“Siyempre naman. Madami pa kaming gagawin eh. Hanggang mga 10 pa siguro kami.” She replied with her unfading smile.
“Apir!” I exclaimed approaching her while raising my palm for a high-five. “May karamay pala kami.” I added chuckling at her. She raised her own palm and gave me a high-five just in time when the microwave sounded. I then attended to it and placed my next glassware. I turned my back on the equipment, leaned on the counter, and heaved a sigh.
“Stressed, kuya?” My newly met acquaintance asked.
“Medyo,” I replied not looking at her. I closed my eyes and massaged the space between my brows. “Ano ulit name mo?” I asked still pressing on my forehead.
“Ah, Grace po.” She replied.
“Ano ka, grasya galing kay Lord?” I asked jokingly. She only giggled back.
Our conversation went on from there and her impression of a stressed out student eventually disappeared from my sight as she kept beaming with optimism despite her obvious fatigue. I never imagined from that moment that my heart would end up melting for Grace in the next days as all the agar media I’ve melted that night of our first encounter. By the time, I finished using the microwave, Grace and I already knew at what labs each of us worked in and from what colleges and sections we came from. I had to wait for another encounter ‘til I could ask for her number.
Months passed and I’ve discovered more about Grace. I’ve learned that she boards alone in a dorm at Dapitan, that she occasionally wears contact lens, that she’s actually pretty when the days are kind enough to give her a break from lab or school work, and that she has a habit of passing by the chapel to pray even if it’s out of her way home. Since we both work late in our own theses, I’ve eventually decided to make it my duty to walk her home. It wasn’t much of a trouble for me since I just live in P. Noval myself. My feelings for her gradually developed until desires to hold her hand, caress her hair, and even kiss her, slowly sprung in my heart. I was falling for her and the fact that graduation was nearing made me more nervous and frustrated. I had to make my moves sooner or later. I needed a perfect timing, the perfect setting, just she and I and the honest expression of my withheld emotions. And so one night, just a week after our thesis defenses, I thought I’d accompany her from her prayer habit at the chapel and reach out my feelings to her when I walk her home. We’ve just gone out of the church bringing with us plastic bags heavy with excess materials from the lab when it suddenly poured as if encouraging me further to pour out my feelings for Grace. Grace put out her umbrella while I put on a transparent raincoat similar with what the security wears on rainy days. We walked through the pass bisecting the botanical garden and made our way for the shortcut pass near the Pharmacy labs and TARC. We have just passed by the statues near the high school canteen when the lights went off. We stopped at our tracks and fell quiet. I felt Grace inching towards my side.
“Wait, mahina mata ko, pwede pakapit?” she asked whispering to my ear. “Tsaka kasi ‘di ba inaayos yung drainage malapit dun sa shortcut, baka mahulog ako.” she continued.
“Sus, sabihin mo takot ka lang sa dilim,” I teased back. “O, asan na kamay mo? Akin na nga. Dapat pala may walking stick ka eh. Pano na yan, baka ako naman mahulog sa'yo dahil dito.” I replied joking as I snatched her shivering hand with my own trembling palm. She only giggled and I knew from that moment that this was the hand I would love to hold for the rest of my life.
The two of us felt our way slowly through the darkness as the rain continued to pour heavily. Grace told me how weird she finds such weather on a February. I couldn’t care less about the bad weather though. I had my own storm inside me. My heart started to race. And just like the unstoppable downpour drowning the earth that night, the dam of my feelings finally broke into a deluge. I grabbed Grace’s hand tighter and pushed her towards a narrow space along the shortcut pass to TARC.
“Uy, anong biro na naman ba ito?” She asked as if anticipating a joke any second from now.
“Nabitawan ko pa tuloy yung payong ko,” she added.
“Grace, kasi…” I paused holding her hand tighter. The narrow space was so small, I could kiss her if I dared. I slowly placed my other hand on her cheek and led my fingers towards the back of her head, slid it down to her neck then shoulder, then back to her neck. I could feel her hand trembling from my grasp. I inched closer so she is now against the wall. And then, with one of my hands resting by her neck, I started to choke her.
Grace’s reactions were too late; the panic, the disbelief. It was my dominant hand holding her neck and my built was far bigger than hers; I overpowered her without effort. Her tight grip on my hand eventually relaxed. Her tensioned body finally leaned sluggishly against the wall, pressed by my aroused flesh. The rain and darkness continued to be my accomplice. I slowly laid down Grace’s body on the wet ground. There was no room for complicated positions so I just went on top of her. I put out the meat cleaver I concealed using sheets of the University’s newspaper. I started chopping off her arms by her elbow joints and placed them inside a small garbage bag. I lifted her chin and decapitated her with a couple of blows. Blood splattered everywhere but I remained calm knowing that the site I chose was most strategic. Rainwater from the other end of the area rinsed my crime scene instantly and rush towards the several holes on the cemented ground at the mouth of the narrow pass leading to the drains. I decided to only keep Grace’s arms and head. I continued chopping the body until they resembled the beef cuts for sale one sees in the supermarket.
After I’ve wrapped my trophies properly with another plastic bag, I placed them in an eco-bag and slid it in my drenched backpack. I collected the other chopped parts and walked towards the open drainage at the end of the shortcut. Several sacks filled with trash collected from the drainage were stacked on top of each other. Most of the sacks were untied. I went back and forth from the narrow pass to the sacks, shoving in the hacked pieces of Grace among the stinking waste. I tied the sacks myself and got the staining dyes from my plastic bag. I had two amber bottles of malachite green and safranin. I opened both bottles and splashed the dyes by the perimeters of my crime scene. I then broke their glass containers and spread the shards as well, painting a picture as if some dyes accidentally spread around the area. This was to mask any stray bloodstain that the rain would fail to wash away. As if the impeding a flood is still not enough to hide my traces. I returned to the narrow pass and gathered Grace’s things and mine. I picked up her umbrella and faced the torrential rain as if nothing happened. I reached the front of TARC and looked back at the darkness behind me. Unfortunately, the power was still down and I couldn’t check how neat I actually left the site.
I continued walking until I reached the Dapitan gate. The guard saw me and pointed out my messy state.
“Boy, ba’t andito ka pa? Pasado alas diyes na ah, sa’n ka ba galing? Tsaka ano yang makulay sa damit mo?” the guard showered me with inquiries as he surveyed me with his flashlight.
“Galing po ako ng simbahan,” I shouted in reply competing to the rain’s angry splattering.
“Bigla pong namatay yung ilaw kanina tapos nadapa po ako. Nabasag po tuloy tapos kumalat yung staining dyes namin,” I continued explaining while I raised my plastic bag still containing several amber bottles and other lab materials.
“O sige, mag-ingat ka na lang at bumabaha na.” the guard said as he opened the gate for me.
“Sige po, salamat! Ingat din po kayo,” I replied as I waded through the flood.
The rain did not stop even after I left the campus. Exiting at Dapitan slowed me to my way to my apartment at P. Noval. The flood rising up to my knees added to my delay. In the end, I reached my place safely. I took a long shower and immediately drank doxycycline. I threw myself on my couch and noticed my drenched backpack on the floor. I grabbed it and put out Grace’s arms and head. I ignored the blood droplets that stained the tiled floor. I positioned Grace’s hand to hold mine while I put her head on my lap to pet her hair. It was the first night in my entire college life that I spent warmly despite a rainy weather.
Now, as I typed this while listening to the news about typhoon Glenda, I couldn't help going back to that night with Grace at the narrow pass. She was literally and figuratively a grace from God to me. She taught me that college is just like any flood; it will subside. No matter how harsh the weather may be, the sun would shine back in the end. Just look at me. I still graduated despite everything that happened."
Proud Graduate
2006
College of Science
[Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental - Eran]ly seeing me glance at her other glassware filled with who-knows-what.
“Uh…” I stuttered.
“Sige na please. Please. Please. Please. 30 seconds lang.” She continued pleading with a smile.
“Ok, then,” I finally replied. “Pero ‘yan lang muna talagang isa ha.” I said looking at her, now beaming at my reply.
“Yes! Thank you po!” She exclaimed then hurriedly placed the beaker in the microwave. Thirty seconds passed and she dropped another “thank you” before rushing out the lab. By the time she was back, I already had my own beaker in the microwave. I still had a few minutes. I had a small tray with me back then. Four flasks were still in line.
“Bilis ah…” I jokingly commented when she reentered the lab with a sigh.
“Siyempre naman. Madami pa kaming gagawin eh. Hanggang mga 10 pa siguro kami.” She replied with her unfading smile.
“Apir!” I exclaimed approaching her while raising my palm for a high-five. “May karamay pala kami.” I added chuckling at her. She raised her own palm and gave me a high-five just in time when the microwave sounded. I then attended to it and placed my next glassware. I turned my back on the equipment, leaned on the counter, and heaved a sigh.
“Stressed, kuya?” My newly met acquaintance asked.
“Medyo,” I replied not looking at her. I closed my eyes and massaged the space between my brows. “Ano ulit name mo?” I asked still pressing on my forehead.
“Ah, Grace po.” She replied.
“Ano ka, grasya galing kay Lord?” I asked jokingly. She only giggled back.
Our conversation went on from there and her impression of a stressed out student eventually disappeared from my sight as she kept beaming with optimism despite her obvious fatigue. I never imagined from that moment that my heart would end up melting for Grace in the next days as all the agar media I’ve melted that night of our first encounter. By the time, I finished using the microwave, Grace and I already knew at what labs each of us worked in and from what colleges and sections we came from. I had to wait for another encounter ‘til I could ask for her number.
Months passed and I’ve discovered more about Grace. I’ve learned that she boards alone in a dorm at Dapitan, that she occasionally wears contact lens, that she’s actually pretty when the days are kind enough to give her a break from lab or school work, and that she has a habit of passing by the chapel to pray even if it’s out of her way home. Since we both work late in our own theses, I’ve eventually decided to make it my duty to walk her home. It wasn’t much of a trouble for me since I just live in P. Noval myself. My feelings for her gradually developed until desires to hold her hand, caress her hair, and even kiss her, slowly sprung in my heart. I was falling for her and the fact that graduation was nearing made me more nervous and frustrated. I had to make my moves sooner or later. I needed a perfect timing, the perfect setting, just she and I and the honest expression of my withheld emotions. And so one night, just a week after our thesis defenses, I thought I’d accompany her from her prayer habit at the chapel and reach out my feelings to her when I walk her home. We’ve just gone out of the church bringing with us plastic bags heavy with excess materials from the lab when it suddenly poured as if encouraging me further to pour out my feelings for Grace. Grace put out her umbrella while I put on a transparent raincoat similar with what the security wears on rainy days. We walked through the pass bisecting the botanical garden and made our way for the shortcut pass near the Pharmacy labs and TARC. We have just passed by the statues near the high school canteen when the lights went off. We stopped at our tracks and fell quiet. I felt Grace inching towards my side.
“Wait, mahina mata ko, pwede pakapit?” she asked whispering to my ear. “Tsaka kasi ‘di ba inaayos yung drainage malapit dun sa shortcut, baka mahulog ako.” she continued.
“Sus, sabihin mo takot ka lang sa dilim,” I teased back. “O, asan na kamay mo? Akin na nga. Dapat pala may walking stick ka eh. Pano na yan, baka ako naman mahulog sa'yo dahil dito.” I replied joking as I snatched her shivering hand with my own trembling palm. She only giggled and I knew from that moment that this was the hand I would love to hold for the rest of my life.
The two of us felt our way slowly through the darkness as the rain continued to pour heavily. Grace told me how weird she finds such weather on a February. I couldn’t care less about the bad weather though. I had my own storm inside me. My heart started to race. And just like the unstoppable downpour drowning the earth that night, the dam of my feelings finally broke into a deluge. I grabbed Grace’s hand tighter and pushed her towards a narrow space along the shortcut pass to TARC.
“Uy, anong biro na naman ba ito?” She asked as if anticipating a joke any second from now.
“Nabitawan ko pa tuloy yung payong ko,” she added.
“Grace, kasi…” I paused holding her hand tighter. The narrow space was so small, I could kiss her if I dared. I slowly placed my other hand on her cheek and led my fingers towards the back of her head, slid it down to her neck then shoulder, then back to her neck. I could feel her hand trembling from my grasp. I inched closer so she is now against the wall. And then, with one of my hands resting by her neck, I started to choke her.
Grace’s reactions were too late; the panic, the disbelief. It was my dominant hand holding her neck and my built was far bigger than hers; I overpowered her without effort. Her tight grip on my hand eventually relaxed. Her tensioned body finally leaned sluggishly against the wall, pressed by my aroused flesh. The rain and darkness continued to be my accomplice. I slowly laid down Grace’s body on the wet ground. There was no room for complicated positions so I just went on top of her. I put out the meat cleaver I concealed using sheets of the University’s newspaper. I started chopping off her arms by her elbow joints and placed them inside a small garbage bag. I lifted her chin and decapitated her with a couple of blows. Blood splattered everywhere but I remained calm knowing that the site I chose was most strategic. Rainwater from the other end of the area rinsed my crime scene instantly and rush towards the several holes on the cemented ground at the mouth of the narrow pass leading to the drains. I decided to only keep Grace’s arms and head. I continued chopping the body until they resembled the beef cuts for sale one sees in the supermarket.
After I’ve wrapped my trophies properly with another plastic bag, I placed them in an eco-bag and slid it in my drenched backpack. I collected the other chopped parts and walked towards the open drainage at the end of the shortcut. Several sacks filled with trash collected from the drainage were stacked on top of each other. Most of the sacks were untied. I went back and forth from the narrow pass to the sacks, shoving in the hacked pieces of Grace among the stinking waste. I tied the sacks myself and got the staining dyes from my plastic bag. I had two amber bottles of malachite green and safranin. I opened both bottles and splashed the dyes by the perimeters of my crime scene. I then broke their glass containers and spread the shards as well, painting a picture as if some dyes accidentally spread around the area. This was to mask any stray bloodstain that the rain would fail to wash away. As if the impeding a flood is still not enough to hide my traces. I returned to the narrow pass and gathered Grace’s things and mine. I picked up her umbrella and faced the torrential rain as if nothing happened. I reached the front of TARC and looked back at the darkness behind me. Unfortunately, the power was still down and I couldn’t check how neat I actually left the site.
I continued walking until I reached the Dapitan gate. The guard saw me and pointed out my messy state.
“Boy, ba’t andito ka pa? Pasado alas diyes na ah, sa’n ka ba galing? Tsaka ano yang makulay sa damit mo?” the guard showered me with inquiries as he surveyed me with his flashlight.
“Galing po ako ng simbahan,” I shouted in reply competing to the rain’s angry splattering.
“Bigla pong namatay yung ilaw kanina tapos nadapa po ako. Nabasag po tuloy tapos kumalat yung staining dyes namin,” I continued explaining while I raised my plastic bag still containing several amber bottles and other lab materials.
“O sige, mag-ingat ka na lang at bumabaha na.” the guard said as he opened the gate for me.
“Sige po, salamat! Ingat din po kayo,” I replied as I waded through the flood.
The rain did not stop even after I left the campus. Exiting at Dapitan slowed me to my way to my apartment at P. Noval. The flood rising up to my knees added to my delay. In the end, I reached my place safely. I took a long shower and immediately drank doxycycline. I threw myself on my couch and noticed my drenched backpack on the floor. I grabbed it and put out Grace’s arms and head. I ignored the blood droplets that stained the tiled floor. I positioned Grace’s hand to hold mine while I put her head on my lap to pet her hair. It was the first night in my entire college life that I spent warmly despite a rainy weather.
Now, as I typed this while listening to the news about typhoon Glenda, I couldn't help going back to that night with Grace at the narrow pass. She was literally and figuratively a grace from God to me. She taught me that college is just like any flood; it will subside. No matter how harsh the weather may be, the sun would shine back in the end. Just look at me. I still graduated despite everything that happened."
Proud Graduate
2006
College of Science
[Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental - Eran]
Twitter / One More Chance
"He broke up with me because I'm a mess. I'm clingy, possesive and yes, paranoid. Nobody wants a woman like that. So he left.
I was terribly hurt. I cried for days.
Months after our breakup, I invited my friends to come over my condo so we could watch movies. One of my friends brought a One More Chance dvd. So, while we were watching, I tweeted,
""Baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng taong mahal natin, kasi baka may bagong darating na mas ok, na mas mamahalin tayo, yun taong di tayo sasaktan.. 1/2""
""..at paasahin, yun nag-iisang taong magtatama ng mali sa buhay natin, ng lahat ng mali sa buhay natin 2/2""
After refreshing my twitter feed, he tweeted,
""Popoy yun ba talaga tingin mo? I just made a choice. -Basha, One More Chance""
And then I tweeted,
""and you chose to break my heart. -Popoy""
He tweeted again,
Him: ""Sometimes you have to break up to grow up,it takes two grown ups to make a relationship works. -Mark, One More Chance""
(PS: we didn't mention each other on our tweets)
I felt so hurt, so I preferred to watch the movie.
It was 11pm when I received a new twitter notif. It was a DM...from him.
""Cam, sana ako pa rin. Sana ako na lang.. Sana ako na lang ulit
frown emoticon
""
""I miss you
frown emoticon
. Magreply ka please
frown emoticon
""
It took me weeks before I replied to his message..
I gave him another chance. And is time, he didn't leave. I changed for the better.
Now, I'm six months pregnant with our baby boy. We'll name him Paulo and ""Popoy"" will be his nickname.
smile emoticon
"
Cam
201*
College of Fine Arts and Design
I was terribly hurt. I cried for days.
Months after our breakup, I invited my friends to come over my condo so we could watch movies. One of my friends brought a One More Chance dvd. So, while we were watching, I tweeted,
""Baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng taong mahal natin, kasi baka may bagong darating na mas ok, na mas mamahalin tayo, yun taong di tayo sasaktan.. 1/2""
""..at paasahin, yun nag-iisang taong magtatama ng mali sa buhay natin, ng lahat ng mali sa buhay natin 2/2""
After refreshing my twitter feed, he tweeted,
""Popoy yun ba talaga tingin mo? I just made a choice. -Basha, One More Chance""
And then I tweeted,
""and you chose to break my heart. -Popoy""
He tweeted again,
Him: ""Sometimes you have to break up to grow up,it takes two grown ups to make a relationship works. -Mark, One More Chance""
(PS: we didn't mention each other on our tweets)
I felt so hurt, so I preferred to watch the movie.
It was 11pm when I received a new twitter notif. It was a DM...from him.
""Cam, sana ako pa rin. Sana ako na lang.. Sana ako na lang ulit
frown emoticon
""
""I miss you
frown emoticon
. Magreply ka please
frown emoticon
""
It took me weeks before I replied to his message..
I gave him another chance. And is time, he didn't leave. I changed for the better.
Now, I'm six months pregnant with our baby boy. We'll name him Paulo and ""Popoy"" will be his nickname.
smile emoticon
"
Cam
201*
College of Fine Arts and Design
Magnanay
"My mom gave birth to me when she was 14. Yes, bata siya ng nanganak siya. Wala akong tatay. Hindi ko siya kilala. Basta ang sabi ni mommy, iniwan niya kami noong malapit na manganak si Mommy. WALA EH?! TARANTADO TATAY KO!
And I'm 21 now. My Mom is 35.
I was 17 when I met this guy.. Gwapo? Check. Matangkad? Check. He was laughing when I saw him. 3 sila actually. And lahat sila, puro gwapo.
Wala naman talaga akong pakielam sa mga lalaki. Goal keeper ako. Nung nalaman ko yung story ni Mommy, natakot ako na baka matulad ako kay Mommy. But this guy, wala eh. Nakakainis kasi kakaiba siya.
Hinanap ko siya sa lahat ng building. Nagbaka sakali ako na makita ko siya. DESPERADA AKO NOON EH!
Akala ko hindi ko na siya makikita. Pumunta ako noon sa Mcdo malapit sa campus. Ang daming tao kasi lunch break talaga siya. As in punuan! Merong apatan upuan akong nakita. Doon nalang ako kumain.
At doon kita nakita! Shet! Ang gwapo mo talaga! I really swear!! Bakit ganyan?! At dahil punuan non.. at sa table ko lang ang available..
""Miss, pwede?"" tanong mo sakin. Bigla pa ngang nagtawanan yung mga kaibigan mo eh.
""Pwede ang alin, Jace ( not his real name )? Banat yan no? May girlfriend ka na!! Wag ka na!!"" Ouch. May girlfriend na pala siya.
""Ulol! Gago! Paano tayo kakain? Ano?! Standing ovation tayo?!"" muntik na ko matawa kasi ang kukulit niyo. Pumayag naman na ko kasi kawawa naman kayo. Baka sa kalsada pa kayo kumain ng di oras.
""Miss ano name mo? Tsaka sa UST ka ba nag aaral?""
""Malamang nag aaral yan sa UST.""
Nahihiya ako. Hindi ako madaldal. Ayoko sa taong madaldal. Pinagtitinginan yung table natin non kasi ang dadaldal nyo, samahan nyo pa na ang lalaki ng boses nyo.
Sinabi ko yung name ko sa kanila. Kinuha pa nga nila yung number ko. Mukha naman silang mababait, edi go lang.
Ayun. Naging close kaming apat. Nalaman ko na graduated na pala sila. At nagpaplano sila magbusiness. Silang tatlo.
To make a long story short, nalaman ko na break na ang gf ni Jace tsaka sya. After mga 6 months, niligawan niya ko. Wala akong planong sagutin siya pero pursigido siya.
Nang makagraduate ako, doon ko siya sinagot. Napakaswerte ko sa kanya. 20 na ko that time. At siya, 28. 8 years ang gap namin but it doesn't matter.
He's so sweet and caring. Sobra!! Ilang beses ko na rin siyang napaiyak dahil akala nya totoong makikipagbreak ako sa kanya.
Minsan lang sa lalaki yung ganun. Kasi mga lalaki ngayon, matataas pride. Ayaw na ayaw umiiyak.
Legal kami sa family nya pero hindi kay Mommy. Alam kong ayaw nyang magkaboyfriend ako dahil nga takot syang baka masaktan din ako.
Nag one year kami noong April 18. Hindi kami magkasama kasi may dinner party daw sila ng family nya. Naintindihan ko naman.
Nasa mall lang ako buong magdamag when my mom called me. Pinapapunta ako. Excited pa nga eh. May surprise daw kasi sya sakin.
So, umuwi agad ako. Wow. Grabe. Nasurprise ako ng todo!! Swear!! Umiyak ako ng sobra sobra!!
""Anak, magpapakasal na kami. Gusto ko sana makilala mo sya. Sorry kung tinago ko sayo. Wag kang magalit ah?""
My Mom's married now. Simple lang naman ang kasal dahil minadali. Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ako para kay Mommy.
Yung tipong kinasal yung Mommy mo sa taong mahal na mahal mo, first love pa!
Simula ng makilala ko sya as my Mom's boyfriend or soon to be husband, hindi na kami nagpansinan.
I changed my number. Nagdeactivate ako ng lahat ng account ko.
Wala kaming official break up.
For you Jace, alam mo kung sino ka. I'm not mad. I'm hurt. Bakit dalawa kami?! Bakit si Mommy pa?
Pero.. I still love you. And I'm thankful kasi after 2 decades, naging masaya si Mommy because of you.
MASAKIT. ALAM NYO YON? I'M A BOOKWORM. AKALA KO SA LIBRO KO LANG MABABASA ITONG GANITO. AKALA KO SA TV LANG!!!
I'm glad na nailabas ko din tong hinanakit ko.
Post it or not, thank you, UST files.
PS. I'm using my Mom's middle name. It's because my Mom's scared na baka ipahanap ako ng tatay ko."
Martir
2008
College of Architecture
And I'm 21 now. My Mom is 35.
I was 17 when I met this guy.. Gwapo? Check. Matangkad? Check. He was laughing when I saw him. 3 sila actually. And lahat sila, puro gwapo.
Wala naman talaga akong pakielam sa mga lalaki. Goal keeper ako. Nung nalaman ko yung story ni Mommy, natakot ako na baka matulad ako kay Mommy. But this guy, wala eh. Nakakainis kasi kakaiba siya.
Hinanap ko siya sa lahat ng building. Nagbaka sakali ako na makita ko siya. DESPERADA AKO NOON EH!
Akala ko hindi ko na siya makikita. Pumunta ako noon sa Mcdo malapit sa campus. Ang daming tao kasi lunch break talaga siya. As in punuan! Merong apatan upuan akong nakita. Doon nalang ako kumain.
At doon kita nakita! Shet! Ang gwapo mo talaga! I really swear!! Bakit ganyan?! At dahil punuan non.. at sa table ko lang ang available..
""Miss, pwede?"" tanong mo sakin. Bigla pa ngang nagtawanan yung mga kaibigan mo eh.
""Pwede ang alin, Jace ( not his real name )? Banat yan no? May girlfriend ka na!! Wag ka na!!"" Ouch. May girlfriend na pala siya.
""Ulol! Gago! Paano tayo kakain? Ano?! Standing ovation tayo?!"" muntik na ko matawa kasi ang kukulit niyo. Pumayag naman na ko kasi kawawa naman kayo. Baka sa kalsada pa kayo kumain ng di oras.
""Miss ano name mo? Tsaka sa UST ka ba nag aaral?""
""Malamang nag aaral yan sa UST.""
Nahihiya ako. Hindi ako madaldal. Ayoko sa taong madaldal. Pinagtitinginan yung table natin non kasi ang dadaldal nyo, samahan nyo pa na ang lalaki ng boses nyo.
Sinabi ko yung name ko sa kanila. Kinuha pa nga nila yung number ko. Mukha naman silang mababait, edi go lang.
Ayun. Naging close kaming apat. Nalaman ko na graduated na pala sila. At nagpaplano sila magbusiness. Silang tatlo.
To make a long story short, nalaman ko na break na ang gf ni Jace tsaka sya. After mga 6 months, niligawan niya ko. Wala akong planong sagutin siya pero pursigido siya.
Nang makagraduate ako, doon ko siya sinagot. Napakaswerte ko sa kanya. 20 na ko that time. At siya, 28. 8 years ang gap namin but it doesn't matter.
He's so sweet and caring. Sobra!! Ilang beses ko na rin siyang napaiyak dahil akala nya totoong makikipagbreak ako sa kanya.
Minsan lang sa lalaki yung ganun. Kasi mga lalaki ngayon, matataas pride. Ayaw na ayaw umiiyak.
Legal kami sa family nya pero hindi kay Mommy. Alam kong ayaw nyang magkaboyfriend ako dahil nga takot syang baka masaktan din ako.
Nag one year kami noong April 18. Hindi kami magkasama kasi may dinner party daw sila ng family nya. Naintindihan ko naman.
Nasa mall lang ako buong magdamag when my mom called me. Pinapapunta ako. Excited pa nga eh. May surprise daw kasi sya sakin.
So, umuwi agad ako. Wow. Grabe. Nasurprise ako ng todo!! Swear!! Umiyak ako ng sobra sobra!!
""Anak, magpapakasal na kami. Gusto ko sana makilala mo sya. Sorry kung tinago ko sayo. Wag kang magalit ah?""
My Mom's married now. Simple lang naman ang kasal dahil minadali. Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ako para kay Mommy.
Yung tipong kinasal yung Mommy mo sa taong mahal na mahal mo, first love pa!
Simula ng makilala ko sya as my Mom's boyfriend or soon to be husband, hindi na kami nagpansinan.
I changed my number. Nagdeactivate ako ng lahat ng account ko.
Wala kaming official break up.
For you Jace, alam mo kung sino ka. I'm not mad. I'm hurt. Bakit dalawa kami?! Bakit si Mommy pa?
Pero.. I still love you. And I'm thankful kasi after 2 decades, naging masaya si Mommy because of you.
MASAKIT. ALAM NYO YON? I'M A BOOKWORM. AKALA KO SA LIBRO KO LANG MABABASA ITONG GANITO. AKALA KO SA TV LANG!!!
I'm glad na nailabas ko din tong hinanakit ko.
Post it or not, thank you, UST files.
PS. I'm using my Mom's middle name. It's because my Mom's scared na baka ipahanap ako ng tatay ko."
Martir
2008
College of Architecture
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